The Benefits of Journaling Through the Holidays and After

This is a guest post by Tracy Winchell.

‘Tis the holiday season.

That time of year when it feels like our schedules and maybe even our emotions are not our own.

We’re juggling children’s plays, holiday parties, work deadlines, and maybe even some year-end surgical procedures since we’ve met our deductibles.

We’re making travel plans – or preparing to host a house full of people – and shopping for gifts and trying to manage our budgets.

Underneath the hustle and bustle are emotions we’d rather keep buried.

The loss of a loved one or a relationship.

Questions about the relative who’s missing from family festivities because they’re in treatment, in detention, or they’ve disappeared – again.

Dreading time with the difficult aunt, uncle, or grandparent who seems to always ask the wrong question – the one who makes judgments or is otherwise insensitive about a loved one’s chemical addiction.

Why it’s a good thing to acknowledge the emotional pain

Joshua Mantz is a retired U.S. Army officer and a West Point graduate.

In 2007, Mantz was shot in the leg by a sniper’s bullet that passed through the body of Staff Sergeant Marlon B. Harper, who was killed instantly. Mantz flat-lined. He was clinically dead for 15 minutes but was able to return to the battlefield four months later.

Today, Mantz shares his story of trauma because he wants all of us to know that our traumas – like holiday triggers – are no less painful than the trauma of knowing he was about to die.

During a recent podcast interview, Josh explained, “To me, that near-death experience was truly the easy part. Compared to everything that followed – the divorce, living with Crohn’s disease, incurable disease, and chronic pain, financial distress, the list goes on. The things that you and I experience day to day – traumatic loss – there’s no need for bravado when it comes to healing ourselves when it comes to transformation. Your pain, your experiences, are just as valid as mine.”

Let that sink in.

Your pain – whatever it is – is as valid as a man who lost a friend in battle and has experienced death himself.

Maybe you’re saying, “Okay, that’s powerful. But I don’t know how to make that translate right now to my chaotic circumstances.”

Take Five for Gratitude

In 2013 I was dealing with grief triggers. Actually, I had allowed grief and anger and disappointment to impact every area of my life.

In November of 2013, my friend Haylea challenged me to keep a gratitude log through November and December.

The challenge was simple.

Every day, list three things for which I am grateful.

If only one thing comes to mind, so be it.

If I repeat the same things over and over, no problem.

If I miss a day, try again the next day.

During that 60-day experiment, I only had 17 entries.

But I kept going because my life started to change.

Not my circumstances, but my view of life.

People started to notice.

So, I kept going with my gratitude practice.

Today, I typically write a gratitude list 80% of the time.

My friend Ryan Gottfredson is a leadership professor at California State – Fullerton.

Ryan concentrates his studies in the realm of mindset development. He explains, “Our mindsets are the mental lenses that we use to view the world. Our mindsets are foundational to and determine our success because they drive and dictate how we think, how we learn, how we behave, and our well-being. And, it is our thinking, learning, behaving, and well-being that drives our success.”

In a recent podcast interview, Ryan shared that through his daily gratitude practice, he’s training his brain to view life through the lenses of what he has – not what he wants.

Which perfectly describes my experience with keeping a gratitude journal.

What’s excellent about all this?

Perfection is not a requirement – nor is a “passing” grade.

My first 60 days of gratitude logging I was successful less than 30% of the time.

And it still made a difference.

It stuck.

Five years later, not only am I continuing the practice, I teach my sponsees and accountability partners in my 12-step program how to keep a gratitude log in 5 to 10 minutes a day.

Here’s how.

Implementation

We’ve already established that you’re busy, but I guarantee you have five minutes – either in the mornings before your feet hit the floor or before you turn out the lights at night.

You’ll find it if you pick up your phone a few minutes later or put it away for the night a few minutes earlier.

Your first action toward setting a gratitude habit – or experimenting through the end of the year – is to set an intention.

How, when, where, and why are important questions to answer.

For me, I’m currently using a notebook to log my gratitude list. I keep the notebook on my bedside table. On good days, I fill out the list before my feet hit the floor, so that’s me where (bedroom), my when (before I get out of bed), and my how (specific notebook).

My why?

So, go ahead right now, grab a pen and paper, and write down your plan.

I’m sorry for your pain.

I’ve been there, too – at that place where taking the next breath is all you can manage in the quietest moments of your day.

Looking back over five years of gratitude journals, there have been days when I struggled to list one thing. I remember what it felt like. I know I will feel that way again in my life, and that I will survive.

What should I write in my journal?

On tough days, pretty often what makes my list is something like:

– “I am safe at this moment.”
– “I am warm (or cool) and dry.”
– “Sunshine.”

Things I list pretty often:

– Coffee
– Clean sheets
– 12 steps of recovery

You might want to list:

– The good people in your life.
– Something positive that happened – even if you were surrounded by negativity.
– Something good about a relative who kind of annoys you but you know they have a generous and kind heart.

Back to a Dead Man’s Take on Trauma

My friend Josh Mantz talks about his return to the medical unit that didn’t quit on him, even after he had flatlined for 15 minutes.

Four months after Mantz’s death, he returned to his unit, and to the team that saved his life.

Mantz explains that first responders often get a faint pulse and rush their patients off to the next level of care, so they never get the validation that what they did was the right thing.

Mantz, says, “It opens the door to hindsight bias – the shoulda, coulda, would’ves. That can have a profound impact on the human psyche over time.”

This applies to loving someone with a chemical addiction, doesn’t it?

It applies to loving – or being – someone struggling with mental illness.

Mantz has lived by implementing the solution and now teaches others about reconciling their lives to trauma. He explains, “Psychological trauma is very complex. It’s a matter of having the courage to take that inward journey and look at ourselves, sometimes at the deepest, darkest corners of our soul, and then having the courage to fight our way back out.”

The best way I know how to keep my emotional bearings – whether it’s during the holidays or navigating an inward journey – is by keeping a gratitude log.

You’ve got everything you need here to get started with a gratitude practice.

If you’re interested in diving in a little deeper, I’ve set up a free 30-day gratitude challenge email course designed to help people begin a gratitude journey.

It’s low-pressure – just like my friend Haylea’s loving challenge from November 2013.

Here’s how to join the gratitude challenge.

Meanwhile, if I can be of service to you, I’d love to hear from you about your experiences with gratitude, or navigating change or trauma.

Thanks for reading.

May you find moments of peace in a hectic, and often painful, season.

Tracy Winchell helps people navigate change. In the past three years, she has navigated the loss of her job and a close friend. She is the host of the Reboots Podcast at RebootsPodcast.com, where she interviews people about navigating change. Tracy actively practices the 12 steps, recovering from unresolved grief, self-doubt, and perfectionism.