In honor of Children of Alcoholics Week, Jody Lamb, author of Easter Ann Peters’ Operation Cool, a novel for tweens about friendship, fitting in, parental alcoholism, and the power of hope, is sharing this guest post. Her experience in a family with alcoholics has made her a passionate advocate for children with alcoholic loved ones.
Dear children of alcoholics and anyone who’s ever loved someone with a drinking problem.
We have something in common, you and me. Something that once was, perhaps still is, a secret: the familiar monster we pretended wasn’t there.
We love alcoholics. We’ve felt the pain of their destructive behavior and heartbreak over their sobriety rollercoaster ride. At many times, we wished we could take on the disease ourselves, if it meant a cure for these loved ones.
Through tears, I’ve watched my smiley, quick-with-a-joke, sweet-souled loved ones walk into what I’ve come to know as the glass monster room. I’ve stood outside of the room, again and again, helpless and hopeless.
If only I could wrap my fingers around my loved ones and pull them out, but I know better. Once they’re inside, the door seals, to be opened only from the inside. No amount of my screaming, arms flailing, or pounding on the glass will make them turn the knob on their own and escape the room’s powers. Inside, my loved ones settle into the room’s comforts. They see me through the glass and hear my muffled pleading. They may even shed a tear to acknowledge awareness of what’s happening.
But we both know the room’s infinitely stronger than my arms, my voice, and my tears. Then the kindest, dearest people I know change into people I don’t recognize. Monsters, not gentle elephants, in the room, in fact. For me, it’s pain that cannot be described accurately in words.
If not for hope, love, and dreams, there’s no doubt I would have walked into that glass monster room myself, too.
Since you’re reading this awesome site, you know this is more than a family problem. It is a societal problem and a global problem, as well as an out-of-control cyclical problem.
One in four American kids lives with at least one parent who’s an alcoholic. That 1999 finding from the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism doesn’t count those kids whose parents are addicted to prescription drugs today. Lisa Frederikson of BreakingTheCycles.com recently shared facts about what happens to kids with alcoholic parents.
So this Children of Alcoholics Week, on behalf of the millions of children worldwide in the arms of the addiction cycle, let’s move.
Here’s how you can help:
- Educate people about what alcoholism is and dispel misinformation by speaking about it more openly with friends and family. Share your books and links to your favorite sites.
- Talk about it openly among your circles. How have you learned to cope? What do you wish you’d known before?
- Listen, really listen when people share their stories.
- Write about how you’ve coped on your own blog or offer to write guest posts on established blogs.
- Post links to helpful articles on the subject on your social media accounts.
- Attend Al-Anon meetings. People need to hear your story.
- Contact your nearest substance abuse treatment center and inquire about volunteer or speaking opportunities.
- Write articles for your local newspaper and alert your local events calendar editor and Patch.com when there are substance abuse-addiction-related seminars in your community.
- If you know respected authors, musicians and athletes who can reach larger numbers of people, ask them about championing the cause.
- Follow the National Association for Children of Alcoholics USA and the National Association for Children of Alcoholics UK on social media.
Something exceptionally positive can come from our experiences. Your contribution to the growing momentum with this cause has great power. Perhaps you’ll reach someone before they have to know the glass monster room at all.
Jody Lamb is the author of Easter Ann Peters’ Operation Cool, a novel for tweens, about friendship, fitting in, parental 
alcoholism, and the power of hope. Her experience in a family with alcoholics has made her a passionate advocate for children with alcoholic loved ones. Jody lives in Michigan and is a public relations manager by day. She is currently writing another middle-grade novel and non-fiction children’s books related to coping with parental alcoholism and other addictions. She plans to provide those books at no cost to young people. She’d love to hear from you: Connect with her on her blog, Facebook, and Twitter.
Jody’s novel, Easter Ann Peters’ Operation Cool, has been called an outstanding contribution to children’s literature on parental depression and alcoholism. Betty Ford Institute wrote about it: “…poignantly deals with parental alcoholism…belongs on the shelf of every school counselor in America.” Jerry Moe, National Director of Children’s Programs, Betty Ford Center, said, ” [This is] a sensitive look at how alcoholism affects the entire family, especially the children. A message of hope and the possibility of healing makes this a very powerful read.”
