You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do. ~ Eleanor Roosevelt
This is a guest post by Stan Popovich.
All most everybody worries about what will happen in the future.
The prospect of not knowing if something good or bad will happen to you in the near future can produce a lot of fear and anxiety.
As a result, here is a list of techniques and suggestions on how to manage this fear of dealing with the unknown.
Remember that no one can predict the future with one hundred percent certainty. Even if the thing that you are afraid of does happen there are circumstances and factors that you can’t predict which can be used to your advantage. For instance, let’s say at your place of work that you miss the deadline for a project you have been working on for the last few months.
Everything you feared is coming true. Suddenly, your boss comes to your office and tells you that the deadline is extended and that he forgot to tell you the day before. This unknown factor changes everything. Remember that we may be ninety-nine percent correct in predicting the future, but all it takes is for that one percent to make a world of difference.
Learn to take it one day at a time. Instead of worrying about how you will get through the rest of the week or coming month, try to focus on today. Each day can provide us with different opportunities to learn new things and that includes learning how to deal with your problems. When the time comes, hopefully, you will have learned the skills to deal with your situation.
Sometimes, we can get anxious over a task that we will have to perform in the near future. When this happens, visualize yourself doing the task in your mind.
For instance, you and your team have to play in the championship volleyball game in front of a large group of people in the next few days. Before the big day comes, imagine yourself playing the game in your mind. Imagine that you’re playing in front of a large audience. By playing the game in your mind, you will be better prepared to perform for real when the time comes.
Self-Visualization is a great way to reduce the fear and stress of a coming situation and increase your self-confidence.
Remember to take a deep breath and try to find something to do to get your mind off of your anxieties and stresses. A person could take a walk, listen to some music, read the newspaper, watch TV, play on the computer or do an activity that will give them a fresh perspective on things. This will distract you from your current worries.
A lot of times, our worrying can make the problem even worse. All the worrying in the world will not change anything. All you can do is to do your best each day, hope for the best, and when something does happen, take it in stride.
If you still have trouble managing your anxiety of the future, then talking to a counselor or clergyman can be of great help. There are ways to help manage your fear and all it takes is some effort to find those answers.
How do you manage your fear and anxiety? Please let us know in the comments!
Stan Popovich is the author of “A Layman’s Guide to Managing Fear Using Psychology, Christianity and Non-Resistant Methods” — an easy to read book that presents a general overview of techniques that are effective in managing persistent fears and anxieties. For additional information go to http://www.managingfear.com/
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Great post Stan and Cathy,
Worry is one of the reason I started my blog. I’m still working on letting go!
Here are two of my favorite quotes:
“I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.”
~Mark Twain
“There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will.”
~Epictetus
Hi Betsy,
Thank you for those wonderful quotes. I will definitely keep those. Worry can keep us stuck and so many moms, including myself, have gone down that road of excessive worry. I appreciate your insight comment! Take care.
Thanks Stan and Cathy. Yes I can be a real predicter of doom, but in recent years I have learned to ask myself, ‘How real is that worry, aka how likely it is REALLY to happen’. The anwswer is often – not too likely, and that helps me. Love the visualization technique, it gets our brains set on a good outcome which probably will help it come true! Good stuff you guys…..
So true, Leslie, that what we often worry about never comes true. When we just live for today and stay in the moment, there is so much more inner peace. Appreciate your comment!
Hi Stan and Cathy,
One of the things I have learned is to stop worrying. When I was younger I was a worrier. I couldn’t sleep at night thinking about whatever was troubling me. As I got older I began to see that most of the scenarios I dwelled upon never happened. What a relief!
Let go and let god…..that’s what I do now.
Best,
Angela
So true Angela that most of what we worry about never happens and it is so much wasted energy! I like your attitude of “Let go and let god!”
Hi Cathy!
Great piece with some effective tools offered. Boy, this is right up our alley at Chipur. Soooo much comes into play here – so many mal-productive beliefs that can be very pervsaive. And it’s these beliefs that drive our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. For many, it’s not so easy to just give it up – even using the effective techniques you’ve presented. Still, as “not so easy” as it may be, it can be done. And, yes, a counselor, pastor, etc. may have to be called upon. Love the Eleanor Roosevelt quotation. Absolutely, no matter the strategy/technique used to intervene, one has to be willing to face their fear(s) straight up and move forward. As always, thank you Cathy for your care and thoughts…
Bill
Love your line, Bill “Absolutely, no matter the strategy/technique used to intervene, one has to be willing to face their fear(s) straight up and move forward.” Facing our fears is the key. Thanks!
Wonderful post, Stan, and thanks for sharing, Cathy. Fear was such a powerful emotion for me and one I had to work very hard to overcome – it was so automatic – the constant “what if?” I put sticky notes with quotes like you’ve shared and others that made sense to me on my mirror, dresser, car dashboard, desk, bookcase, bedside table – to remind myself in whatever way possible that it was an emotion not a fact. It helped. Now when the feeling rises, I BREATHE and immediately take stock – what’s causing this feeling and what can I realistically do about it. Thanks for sharing your ideas!
Glad you found some strategies that worked for you. I have felt fear as well that kept me in a negative cycle, so always good to work through it in the best way you can. Thanks for stopping by.
Hi Stan – thanks for sharing and your tips to reduce fear in our lives. Three strategies I’ve tried to use to conquer fear. Looked at the past and realized that many fears never unfolded. Looked at the past and realized that if my worst fears ever unfolded, I was able to overcome them. And finally, practice the antidote of fear. The more we practice and experience love in our lives, the less fear has the ability to pop up. I’m not fear-free but try to keep fear in check 🙂 Visualization is a great tool to have positive outlooks of the future instead of fear based ones
Great strategies here Vishnu. I agree that really looking at the reason for the fear is helpful. Thanks for sharing what has helped you!
Very clear and informative post Stan.
When it comes to fear or worry, I get back to breathing. I slim my time horizon down to the moment. I think about what’s happening in the moment. Is there any threat? The answer has always been no. Then, I keep myself in the moment and focus on my breath.
Soon I’m able to expand the time horizon and realize that all is well and that things have a way of working themselves out.
Welcome and thanks for sharing your thoughts, Nneka. Breathing is a great technique that is helpful, as well as looking at what is happening in the moment. Glad you found some strategies that worked for you. Take care!
Hi Stan and Cathy – I used to have an incredibly powerful fear of going to the dentist. It virtually paralyzed me. And I learned to use the release technique to let it go.
Now, I’m just about as concerned about a dental visit as the next person. Which is just as well, since I seem to have spent a lot of time there lately!
Thank you, Stan and Cathy. Imagination is a wonderful thing – unless you’re an extreme worrier like I used to be. I spent the first 26 years of my life imagining and preparing for the next terrible event that was sure to happen in my chaotic life with alcoholics. Today, I use positive imagining and visualization to focus on the positive outcomes when the inevitable challenges arise. Thank you for these great tips!
Fear can keep us stuck, Jody. I’ve been there as well, feeling overwhelmed by fear. That is great that you use positive imagining and visualization to keep you in the positive. Thanks for stopping by!
Stan and Cathy,
A most welcome reminder that…Tiger gonna kill, bird gonna fly and wo/man’s gonna sit around and wonder why…”
I swear ta gosh every single day the, “false evidence appearing real” visits me and I’ve learned to be informed by it. What is going on here? Am I sleep, water, nutrition, exercise deprived? Is there an anniversary and my body is reminding me of some old memories?
Fear has become an integral part of my being and Stan brings it home with great suggestions on how to manage what it is to be human.
Bottom line: Knowing that other humans have this experience who can also transform an uncomfortable fact of life into comfort and courage–so very valuable. Thank you!
Thanks Herby for stopping by and glad that you liked Stan’s article.
Get the right amount of sleep for your needs — not too much or too little. Eat well: Choose fruit, vegetables, lean proteins, and whole grains for long-term energy (instead of the short bursts that come from too much sugar or caffeine). And exercise to send oxygen to every cell in the body so your brain and body can operate at their best.
Welcome and thanks for sharing those healthy tips!
Thanks for this. I have a fear of the unknown. For example I am about to travel to visit my sister who moved over seas. I haven’t seen her since she moved 14 months ago. I am dreading seeing her again and I know I will have to say goodbye again which will be very hard. So I can’t even get excited about this trip. Any tips?