Are you looking for an alternative to a 12-step program?
Would some other options be more helpful for your son or daughter?
A 12-step program works for some, but not for everyone.
There are options to fit the needs of different people. One kind of recovery plan doesn’t work for everyone.
While the 12-step program has helped many, there is no one (or right) way to “do” treatment. You don’t want your child to resist getting help because they believe a 12-step program is the only way. Often, it can be a combination of several options that provide the best results.
It’s a missed opportunity when a treatment program doesn’t fit your child’s needs. The program should not be based on what works best for the treatment facility. It should be based on your child as an individual.
Some embrace the AA approach, and if alcohol is the issue, sobriety may need to be the answer. However, options for families such as harm reduction and medication-assisted treatment are additional options that treatment centers can offer.
I spoke to a mother recently who mentioned that she felt her son was failing in his recovery program because he could not embrace AA.
Many people do not receive options that make sense for their particular situation.
There are many alternative treatment support programs for people seeking recovery. Again, while the 12-step program works for many, it is not the only way.
Some people are not comfortable with the spiritual aspect of 12-step programs. Others may not want to label themselves as an addict or alcoholic.
People have different reasons for not being willing to follow a 12-step plan. The important thing is to find what works for you.
There are many options available for treatment and ongoing support. Alternative groups can help your child get the support they need.
What does it matter that we take different roads, so long as we reach the same goal? ~ Gandhi
Community Reinforcement and Family Training (CRAFT)
- to teach you skills to take care of yourself;
- to teach you skills you can use to help your loved one change;
- to reduce substance use, period, whether your loved one gets formal treatment or not.
Learn more about CRAFT at The Center for Motivation and Change and by reading:
- The Parents 20 Minute Guide
- Beyond Addiction: How Science and Kindness Help People Change
- Get Your Loved One Sober: Alternatives to Nagging, Pleading, and Threatening
SMART Recovery® – Discover the Power of Choice!
SMART Recovery offers local meetings, daily online meetings, message boards, and a 24/7 chat room. They provide publications for those wanting more information about the program.
The SMART Recovery 4-Point Program offers tools and techniques for each program point:
- Building and Maintaining Motivation
- Coping with Urges
- Managing Thoughts, Feelings, and Behaviors
- Living a Balanced Life
Local meetings, daily online meetings, message boards, and a 24/7 chat room are available. Publications are available for those wanting more information about the program.
SMART Recovery’s Toll-Free Number is 866-951-5357.
Online Family & Friends Meetings are Monday at 9:00 PM ET and Thursday at 1:30 PM ET. You can find local meetings in various cities throughout the country and Canada.
Recovery Dharma
The Recovery Dharma website states, “We are a peer-led movement and community that is unified by our trust in the potential of each of us to recover and find freedom from the suffering of addiction. We believe that recovery means empowerment, and we support each other as partners walking the path of recovery together.”
“Our program uses the Buddhist practices of meditation, self-inquiry, wisdom, compassion, and community as tools for recovery and healing. We believe that recovery is about finding our own inner wisdom and our own path.”
“Recovery Dharma welcomes anyone looking to heal from addiction and addictive behavior, whether caused by substance use or process addictions like codependency, gambling, eating disorders, relationships, technology, or any obsessive or habitual pattern that creates suffering. We’ve found that this Buddhist-inspired path can lead to liberation from the suffering of addiction, and we support you in finding your path to recovery.”
You can find an online meeting here.
Women For Sobriety
Women For Sobriety, Inc. is a non-profit organization dedicated to helping women overcome alcoholism and other addictions. It is the first national self-help program for women alcoholics.
Dr. Jean Kirkpatrick founded Women For Sobriety, Inc. in 1975. What amazed Dr. Kirkpatrick was not that she was an alcoholic but that in all the years of her drinking, not once was she diagnosed as an alcoholic.
From the beginning, she felt that women struggling with alcohol had the same problems she did. They had little or no self-esteem, depression, loneliness, and excessive feelings of guilt. She knew that she had found a way to overcome these feelings and felt she could help other women.
Women For Sobriety, Inc. has received thousands of letters from women and their families. Women do have unique problems in recovery. For lasting sobriety, programs must address these needs.
From the beginning, she felt that women struggling with alcohol had the same problems she did. They had little or no self-esteem, depression, loneliness, and excessive feelings of guilt. She knew that she had found a way to overcome these feelings and felt she could help other women.
WFS has been providing services to women alcoholics since July 1976. They have self-help groups all across this country and abroad.
Use the Contact Form for WFS to learn more.
Assisted Recovery Centers of America
Assisted Recovery Centers of America’s website states that the program combines:
- The use of safe, effective medications that stop the craving and obsession with alcohol and opiate drugs to support brain chemistry repair, which has been gradually impaired by alcohol and/or opiate use.
- Treatment and talk therapy include extensive one-on-one counseling and therapy-grounded group meetings. Treatment focuses on the whole person and emphasizes learning how to deal effectively with the underlying issues that lead to and perpetuate addictive behaviors.
The group was born responding to the need for an evidence-based treatment option.
Assisted Recovery states that they are not Anti-AA, but they believe in anything that works and that individuals should have a variety of choices from which to choose.
Contact Assisted Recovery in the Phoenix area at (602) 264-7897 or Toll-Free: (800) 527-5344
Life Ring — Empower Your Sober Self
Life Ring is a network of positive support groups for living free of alcohol and other “drugs.”
“Imagine that inside of each person struggling with drug and/or alcohol issues; there is a conflict between a voice that wants to keep drinking/using and another that wants to be free of the drug and lead a better life. We abbreviate these voices as the “A” (the addict self) and the “S” (the sober self).
After each meeting, the “S” in each person is stronger than before. At some point, the person experiences a transformation. The “S” grows stronger than the “A” and rises to the top.
This “S-to-S” connection is the engine of the LifeRing recovery process that they practice in their meetings, both in-person and online. They call it “Empowering Your Sober Self.”
The LifeRing process is strength-based; it works by positive reinforcement of qualities that you already have. You can find a meeting, books, brochures, and other information by visiting their website.
Contact Life Ring in the California area at 510-763-0779 or Toll-Free: 1-800-811-4142
Moderation Management
Moderation Management (MM) is a behavioral change program and national support group network for people concerned about their drinking and who desire to make positive lifestyle changes. MM empowers individuals to accept personal responsibility for choosing and maintaining their own path, whether in moderation or abstinence. MM promotes early self-recognition of risky drinking behavior when moderate drinking is a more easily achievable goal.
The program agrees that no one solution is best for all people with drinking problems. There are many possible solutions available to each individual. MM suggests that each person finds the solution that is best for them.
MM is an excellent place to begin to address a drinking problem. If MM proves ineffective, the individual is encouraged to progress to a more radical solution.
Contact MM to find out more.
What is essential is that there are many paths to recovery. Find the one that works for you.
What support program have you or your child used that has helped your family heal?
This article was updated in 2024.
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Thank you for your article. It is important for everyone to know that AA is not the only way. Recovery is a personal journey. I was especially pleased to see you include SMART Recovery, a program that makes some rational sense. Hopefully your article will provide new ways for folks who have not had success in the past.
Hey Bill,
I so agree that recovery is a personal journey. SMART Recovery has helped many and allowed many to embrace recovery on their own terms. I do hope that people realize from all the information available here and elsewhere that there are many options. Thank you so much for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!
12 Step programs are like the ER. Use it until the bleeding stops, but eventually you do need a SPIRITUAL or from the heart answer to your life or you will just replace one addiction for another. Stop drinking, you start smoking, stop smoking you start eating, stop eating and you start gambling or going shopping. None of these things fills the void in your heart. Once your heart is filled, you don’t need any of the “worldly” things. How do you fill your heart? That nasty 3-letter word GOD. Fewer and fewer people want to hear that anymore. You be be a “nice and sober” person, but will that get you to heaven? I hope so, but I don’t think so.
Thanks for bringing attention to this Cathy. We need to keep educating people–not only about CRAFT but all viable options for achieving recovery. Sadly, there are too many out there who firmly believe that 12-Step recovery is the only option. With all that we’ve learned over the past 25 years about the addicted brain, it’s time we let people know there are MANY alternatives for successfully managing this chronic and deadly disease. It starts with keeping an open mind. Great blog!
Hey Becky, I so agree that the information needs to be out there so that people are informed. In these times of scientific and evidence based treatment options, we need to have all options available so that people can wisely choose what will be the best fit. I so agree that it does start with an open mind and acceptance. Thank you for stopping by!!
Hi Cathy, you and I are really on the same page when it comes to this issue. Thanks for eliminating the shame many people feel when 12-Step programs aren’t a fit for them, for whatever reason – and for offering such a comprehensive guide to the alternatives.
Another alternative set of steps that I like a lot is The 16 Steps, developed by Charlotte Kasl in her book “Many Roads, One Journey.”
And I recently heard about a website called AA Agnostic that has a number of different versions of the 12 Steps, written in non-religious language. You can find them here: http://aaagnostica.org/alternative-12-steps/
There is room for all of us to follow whatever works for us, as we choose recovery and remain on that amazing path together, one day at a time.
Welcome Candace! I’m glad we are on the same page and share the same feelings about this issue. I appreciate so much your information about The 16 Steps and AA Agnostic. I will check both of these out for more information. I so agree that there is room for all of us follow whatever work for us. I so appreciate you stopping by and sharing your thoughts! Take care.
Love, love, love this post Cathy! Thank you for putting these recovery resources all in one place. Such valuable information for those looking for alternatives to 12 step programs. Not knocking 12 steps, but it isn’t for everyone. Thank you!
Welcome Sandy! I agree that the 12 steps has helped many, but it is not for everyone, and everyone should have a chance at recovery! Thank you for stopping by and sharing your insightful comment!
A wonderful resource for those looking for options! You lay them all out nicely so everyone can begin to see the differences. 12-step is so ingrained that it is the only option that people know about – so thanks for bringing all of this to light!
I appreciate you sharing your thoughts, Leslie. Some of these programs are not as well known so, I feel it is important to get the message out to folks you are looking for answers! Take care and thanks for stopping by!
An enlightened work of art, Cathy. I’m reminded how we are as human beings…that what FINALLY! worked for me must be the answer for you when Gandhi and you…remind us of the many roads to recovery.
And the coolest deal is that all of these programs have more similarities than differences.
Choice…what a concept and thank you, Cathy for providing so many great ones.
Great point, Herby, that the programs have more similarities than others. I honestly feel that a combination of programs could work for many people. You could take what works for you from the various programs and put together a recovery program that fits your particular situation.Thanks for your comments and support!
Bingo! 100% agree!
Cathy,
This is bar far the best read I have come across about recovery and addiction education since I entered my recovery journey in 2002.
Yes, of course there are multiple levels of addiction….. AA does not address this important fact.
A very important fact about Alcoholics Anonymous – AA Big Book pg 164 says ” Our book is meant to be suggestive only. We realize we know only a little.” – To me what this says is “AA does not claim or pretend to have all the answers.” Again, to me, this also means that we need to do hourly and daily due diligence to figure out how to manage our own life and live on lifes terms. I.E. Work towards gaining a higher level wisdom and a higher state of enlightenment.
Although I kind of feel that I have out grown AA in some ways, I still do attended AA meeting on a semi regular basis. Although AA is not my cup of tea, I am blessed to have gained tremendously valuable insights on personal development, addiction, recovery and emotional heath & wellbeing. I do attend several AA meeting a year to primarily keep in check with the wisdom that I acquired and help another brother or sister that may be suffering from addiction.
To me AA is: A) one step in the life LONG recovery journey. B) is a support group, not the addicts entire recovery program. C) one of many components of a long term recovery strategy.
D) there to jump start the individuals recovery program – not become a crutch activity. Recovery happens during life’s activities beyond the 12 Steps.
A few years into my recovery (while I was managing a 25 bed sober living) it became very obvious that the success rate in AA, NA and CA was marginal at best. I figured that if I was truly serious about beating the odds I would need to adopt a much higher level of commitment towards my recovery and personal development. I stumbled across the work of Malcolm Gladwell and his 10,000 hour principals. I would soon proclaim my self as a “Student of Recovery” and ” Student of The Game of Life.” This my friends was a game chamger.
To beat these overwhelming odds I would need to learn to look at long term recovery strategy from a 50,000 ft view. The 50,000 ft perspective yields incredible value. I have surpased the 10,000 hours several times. Today I have found all the answers that I needed to recover and develop a long term recovery strategy.
One last thought – my parents were both alcoholics/addicts. The overall well being of our family life started destructing around my 4th grade elementary. 4th grade is where my academic growth stopped – hence my low level writing skills. The reality academic aptitude does not deter me because…. I am rich in valuable life experiences. These valuable life lesson provide me with a high level of emotional health, gratitude, wisdom and overall ability to not fall part when I become emotionally overwhelmed.
Cathy, thanks you so much for writing and compiling this awesome post. Sorry for being so long winded, just hoping my experience can be of some value.
Sincerely,
Byron Friday
Hey Byron, Welcome and I so appreciate reading your comment! Thank you for taking time to elaborate. I appreciate you sharing this line,”Our book is meant to be suggestive only. We realize we know only a little.” I agree that any of the 12 step groups are meant for support and have helped so many. It is an amazing opportunity to meet others and have fellow travels. AA is wonderful from that standpoint, but as we know not perfect.
The reason for my post is that I want to be one more voice to remind people that the 12 Steps are not the only way, and that there are other programs available to help people reach long-term recovery. I would like a more treatment centers to offer a variety of programs or to customize the recovery to meet the needs of each individual person.
I love Malcolm Gladwell’s work as well and how fitting to use his 10,000 hour principals and apply it to recovery. Congrats to you that you have found recovery and created positive change for yourself. I know it is never easy when your parents affected by the disease as well, so that is wonderful. No need to apologize for your writing. Your comment is clear, well written and filled with good information. Thanks again for stopping by and sharing your thoughts! Take care.
Bitchin’, Bryon. Well written and well taken. Thanks.
Thank you for this comprehensive list of alternatives. I have been researching them as well. While my truth comes from my experience there are other ways to find sobriety and as Herby says- “there are more similarities than differences”. We don’t have to be concerned that there are many ways: unfortunately there are so many of us who suffer that ALL the rooms can be full – HP willing!
This is fantastic Cathy – very comprehensive and nonjudgmental. As you write, there is no one, nor right way to “do” addiction treatment and recovery, and as others have stated, what may work in the beginning doesn’t work as well later and switching to something else helps one keeps their recovery journey going. Thank you for this – I’ll be sharing!
Great article. There IS more than one way to recovery. Great to see this movement toward modern approaches to treatment.
DD
Thanks for sharing this wonderful list Cathy. It is so true that AA doesn’t work for everyone. My uncle’s sponsor tried to get me to join AA a few years back when I was going through a tough time. He tried to convince me that I was an alcohol, which I don’t believe I am. I have one drink every couple of weeks to months with friends in a social environment, but besides that I don’t drink for personal preference.
I didn’t go to SMART but I like what it teaches. I like that it teaches skills and gives you the tools to cope. I have gone to a lot of therapy and the most beneficial for me were CBT and DBT. I learned the skills to feel my emotions and sit with them, to reframe my thoughts, to skillfully handle confrontation and so much more.
I am sure this list will help a lot of people.
Hi Sebastian,
That is great that you found what worked for you. Therapy can be so beneficial. It has helped me a lot in the past. The main idea is that one size doesn’t fit all and there are different programs for different people. I hope in the future, the treatment industry stops funneling everyone through the 12 steps. It is a wonderful program, but people should have choices. I appreciate you stopping by!