5 Ways to Find Peace and Joy in 2019

May the coming New Year take away all the pain and unhappiness you may have in your life and shower you with love, peace, and joy. ~ David Kreger

It’s hard to believe that 2018 is coming to a close.

The year has gone by quickly and yet so much has taken place.

My hope is that as you move into 2019, you will find peace and joy.

On a Personal Note

My precious first grandson turned one this year, which is a big milestone. My second grandson was born six weeks early in the spring. It was a wake-up call to not just expect everything to go smoothly. Thankfully, he is now thriving and brings joy to us each time we see him.

My lesson learned is to let go of expectations and be grateful for each small milestone.

Travel is something I love to do, and I had some fun trips this year. I visited New Orleans and Nashville, two cities that had been on my list to see. I also went on a cruise from New York to Montreal which was interesting as well with beautiful scenery.

We also spent time in Los Cabos this year, as well as we do most winters. I feel grateful that I can take my work with me wherever I go.

I was busy this year as well with my one-on-one coaching and the Rise Up Moms Club. We’re in a good flow now that we are meeting once a week with the moms.

Substance Use

There are so many similarities, yet every situation is different.

Setting boundaries and following through can be a struggle for parents. We don’t want to disappoint our kids. We don’t want to do anything that might push them to spiral downward. It is a constant challenge for parents to find that middle ground.

I’m getting more calls from parents of teens who are smoking marijuana daily. Their grades are tanking and they are losing interest in life. This is hard for parents to watch and they struggle to choose the best course of action.

With its legalization in California and others states, some teens feel there is nothing wrong with cannabis. If you are concerned, check out the article, How Today’s Cannabis Can Hurt the Teenage Brain.

According to the CDC, 115 Americans die every day due to opioid overdose. If that holds true for every day of 2018, almost 42,000 people have died in 2018 from opioid use alone. That is a devastating statistic.

It’s stressful when your child is struggling. Yet, as a parent, you do have an influence. You can make a difference, especially if you engage with the problem early on.

The Partnership for Drug-Free Kids reminds us that “Addiction is such a daunting, frightening disease. Parents are part of the process. They’re part of the healing, and they’re part of the solution.”

The Partnership and the Center for Motivation and Change continued to train parents in the Community Reinforcement and Family Training approach. There are over 200 parents now trained in CRAFT.

With the struggles that you may have had this year, my wish for you is that 2019 is filled with peace and joy. 

Here are some ways to help you achieve that wish.

Believe in Yourself.

We’ve all fallen into the trap of blaming ourselves when our kids find themselves struggling with substances. We feel we’ve somehow dropped the ball or let our child down. The idea of isolating sounds appealing so we don’t have to answer questions or deal with the shame of addiction.

Don’t stop believing in yourself. Think back to all the things that you did well as a parent. Many young adults who manage their lives well emerge from dysfunctional families. Also, many loving and responsible parents find themselves struggling with a son or daughter who has turned to drugs or alcohol. There are no set reasons why this occurs.

Don’t lose sight of yourself. You helped your child with challenges when they were younger. You can help them again with their substance use problem. Believe in yourself.

Be Positive

It’s easy to fall into a negative cycle when our kids are engaging in risky behavior. It’s easy to feel angry and frustrated.

Changing the way we look at our situation can help. Rather than allowing the substance use to overtake you, take a breath and calm down. Talk to your child in a positive way. It will give you a better chance of your child hearing what you have to say. Take time to listen to what your child has to say as well.

Also, acknowledging your child’s positive behavior can have a powerful effect. It can help you feel better and help your child feel motivated to change. Take some time each day to look for something positive.

Be the light in the darkness.

Work Together

We’ve all found ourselves in a power struggle with our kids when substance use is an issue. Many of us have tried to discipline our way out of the problem.

Instead, let your child know you are on their side (That doesn’t mean you condone their behavior). Help your child get to the cause of what is driving them to want to use substances.  

Consider genetics, your child’s environment, any childhood trauma, mental health, and early substance use. These can all be risk factors for addiction.

Look at the family dynamics and what is working and what is not. Come together as a team to find solutions that will start the healing process for your family.

Expect Success

When I was teaching fourth graders, I often taught a diverse group of students. Some were English learners. Some had learning problems. Others were native English speakers. And then some of my students were in the gifted program.

What I learned was to expect success from all my students. When I let them know I believed in them and expected them to succeed, they rose to the challenge.

You can do the same with your struggling child. Let them know you believe in them. Have every expectation that they can change. When you believe in your child, they will begin to believe in themselves.

Have Gratitude

We all feel happier when we allow ourselves to feel gratitude.

Train your mind to notice what is going well in your life. Focus on your other children, your spouse, your friends, or even your beloved pet. You will feel less stress. You will have more hope.

When we have moments of crisis in our life, it is important to acknowledge the sorrow and pain. It is also important to notice the goodness in your life.

Count your blessings.

Embrace all that is going well.

FROM THE BLOG

In case you missed them, here are ten posts that resonated with readers during 2018.

As we leave 2108 behind, we are once again at the start of another new year. We have a clean slate.

Anything is possible.

What are your plans for 2019? Let us know in the comments.

Also, our next season of Rise Up Moms Support Club starts this week. We will be taking a deeper dive into the CRAFT approach this year which is the most recognized evidence-based approach available. Learn tools and strategies that can help your child change. Join us today as we have a special going on until January 15th! Get three months FREE when you purchase a year subscription.