Have you heard of Oxford House?
Would learning more about the value of a recovery home help you support your child?
I’m excited to share my interview with Earl Thiessen from Oxford House!
Because of the experience with my child, I have felt that the time she spent living in a sober living home was beneficial. It gave her the support she needed to make a life for herself where drug use was not running her day. She met some good friends there and has good memories of the help that she received.
There are many different sober living homes to choose from, but Oxford Homes has had a good reputation for many years, so I have wanted to learn more about their success.
In this interview, Earl shares his homelessness recovery story to his rise to Executive Director of Oxford House Foundation.
Here you can watch the video as Earl tells the powerful story of his recovery and his thoughts about recovery homes.
Here are some of my takeaways from the interview:
It helps to talk about your trauma because if you hold onto your trauma there is a good chance you’re going to relapse again.
The gap between detox and treatment can lead a person to relapse, so it’s essential to have a smooth transition, to receive continual support.
When Earl first entered an Oxford House, he felt he was safe. He had a sponsor right there with him. He could do a little AA meeting by just speaking with someone from the home. That peer support model that Oxford homes provide played a huge part in Earl’s recovery. He lived in a house for 14 months and was then asked if he would like to work for Oxfam Homes. He worked in various jobs, and after ten years, was named Executive Director.
Peer support is stressed.
The residents of the house do the interviews for a new person. They decide who their roommates are.
There is accountability in the house. You are accountable to yourself first. Next, you are accountable to your roommates.
If a person doesn’t hold up his end, there is a meeting with the housemates. The person is issued a disruptive behavior contract and is given thirty days to change their behavior, or be asked to leave the home. Everybody has a responsibility to each other in the house, and that is what makes it successful. You become a family, and you work together.
The homes have weekly house meetings so people can sit down and discuss what is going on in the house. If there is an issue, you bring it up. It’s a safe place to bring it up.
Sometimes a support person will be asked to attend a meeting. If they are asked for help, they will give their input.
Relapse and the value of having a close support system
In most cases. when people do release, they are asked to leave the home so that the substance use doesn’t influence others.
Earl feels it was the best decision he made in his life. Earl has witnessed thousands of people change their lives with recovery housing.
Once a person is in a home, they get comfortable and develop those friendships with people who have one, two, or three years sober, and that’s a mentor for them.
It’s difficult to understand the addicted mind if you haven’t been there. There’s only so much you can teach a person about addiction.
There are lots of underlying issues that lots of people won’t even tell you. A person will tell a resident that they may not tell a parent. The resident may have had a similar experience and may recommend getting a sponsor, going to meetings, and speaking openly. By not talking openly, you’re hurting yourself. Earl feels the best thing he did for his son was to let him learn things himself in early recovery. He let him carve his own path.
How parents can help
As parents, we’re protective of our children. Sometimes you have to let them grow on their own without too much input.
It is important for a parent to loosen the reins a little bit when helping their child in their early recovery. We can’t hold their hands the whole time.
Earl says that “Recovery was the best thing that happened to me.”
It’s not a scary situation if the housing is proper.
How to find a home
Many people are not sure about how to find a recovery home. Earl’s advice is to research recovery houses. Find out who the staff is. Google their names. Google the organization’s name. Read through the information and look at the reviews. There can always be some negative ones, but look at most of the reviews and then decide.
I would add, if you are helping your child find a recovery home or sober living home, as Earl mentioned, do your research to be sure that the house will be a good fit. There are no guarantees with sober living but may have found that living in a recovery home to be a helpful gateway to living in long-term recovery.
- Learn more about the Oxford House Foundation of Canada here.
- Learn more about Oxford Houses in the United States here.
Fourteen years ago, when Earl was sleeping under a bridge or sleeping on a homeless shelter mat, did he ever think he would be the Executive Director of Canada’s largest peer supportive recovery housing organization. He loves his job and loves spreading awareness.
About Earl Thiessen:
Never in my wildest dreams did I think that my recovery journey would lead to me being Executive Director of the Oxford House Foundation. The reality of being homeless for seven years still haunts me. I don’t think many would survive the experiences I had during that time, including incarceration, overdose, and a whole winter sleeping outside because I had no idea of the resources that were available 13+ years ago.
Little did I know that the stars were about to align for me and that this would take place in front of a Justice of the Peace. There were eleven warrants out for my arrest. It was time to get honest. I told the Justice of the Peace about my partner and my addiction issues. I told him that I didn’t know how to deal with it and that “I need help.” “My rock bottom was when my partner was murdered.” She is one of the many MMIWAG in Canada.
The Justice of the Peace was a caring and understanding man. The first person to have faith in me. He released me and told me to go get the help I so desperately needed. That was the small window I needed to change my life. I went back to treatment, embraced my aboriginal heritage, and moved into an Oxford home in 2008.
“Earl Thiessen has been with Oxford house for 12 years in various positions and assumed the role of Executive Director on July 1, 2019. The developer of Numerous Recovery Housing Models including Pre-treatment housing, Entry Level Housing and the Collaborative (Poundmakers Lodge) Peer Supported Indigenous Recovery Housing Model. From Homelessness to Executive Director, a strong advocate for Recovery, Homelessness and the Peer Supported Recovery Housing Model.
