An Interview with Sharon LeGore, Founder of MOMSTELL

I met Sharon LeGore four years ago in New York City.

We were among a group of eleven parents who had gathered to learn how to coach parents using CRAFT.

Sharon is one of those amazing people who has experienced a personal tragedy and yet reaches out to help other parents. Sharon gives back by spreading the word about the dangers of addiction. Her organization works to help other families with parent resources, support and more so that they can make a positive change and not feel so alone.

I’m honored to share Sharon’s interview. I know her experience and wisdom will help others.

Sharon, please briefly introduce yourself to the readers who may not know you.

My name is Sharon LeGore, and I grew up in the suburbs of Wilmington Delaware. I’m the mother of four and grandmother of 7 and today reside in York, Pennsylvania, not far from the historic battlefield of Gettysburg.  I began my journey with substance abuse as a child of an alcoholic.  You see, this redhead was a spirited little girl and learned at a very early age how to advocate for others.

I would get in the middle of my parents to stop the fights over my dad’s drinking and to protect my mother. I loved my mom and my dad but the dysfunction and stress of living with a substance abusing parent left me hospitalized with a stomach ulcer at the age of 6.  With that diagnosis, my father joined Alcoholics Anonymous and began his road to recovery, and my mother began hers through Alanon.  It was at that young age that I made the decision to never to use alcohol because of my childhood experiences and that decision made over 50 years ago is a choice that I still abide by today.

As my own children grew, I shared my own childhood experiences with their grandfather’s alcoholism and through genetics, they stood a greater chance of becoming addicted. My children did not listen and made the choice to experiment with drugs and alcohol and each dealt with their own addictions as a result. As their mother, I lacked the knowledge to fight this disease and could only watch helplessly on the sidelines.

Through those years, I became keenly aware that I needed to do something to change what was happening with my children, and those thoughts led me to my work today as a family advocate for substance abuse issues.

Could you please share why you created the organization, MOMSTELL? 

My only daughter Angela struggled with her addictions to drugs for four years. She eventually lost her battle with heroin and died of an overdose in the winter of 1998.  The loss of Angie devastated our entire family and changed the entire direction of my life.

I grieved for my daughter tremendously, but when I finally returned to my job as a dental assistant, I was unsettled and just knew I had to do something to prevent what happened to Angie from happening to anyone else.  In less than a year after her death, I became a woman with a passion for those families, who like me, had been impacted by the disease of addiction. This is how the idea for MOMSTELL was born.

I began looking for other moms in Pennsylvania who like me had lost a child to drugs. That search led me to create the organization MOMSTELL. I contacted the IRS to receive help in setting up a non-profit organization and MOMSTELL was established.

In the beginning, the name MOMSTELL, stood for, Moms on a mission to advocate for Drug Treatment, Education and Lobbying for Legislation. (That is until the IRS told me we could not use the word lobby) We obtained our nonprofit status. And the rest is history.

Since parent resources and support were scarce, we thought reaching out through a free website would help other parents out there, who like me, were searching for help, but felt very alone.  I purchased a website template online for $25 and put in all the information about addiction that as a parent I wanted to know.

MOMSTELL has evolved since its inception and strives to cover treatment, recovery, policy, and legislation while always keeping the primary focus on supporting parents and family members impacted by addiction.

What is the purpose of the organization?

MOMSTELL’s mission is to educate, support and unite everyone impacted by substance abuse/co-occurring issues. Families must receive the help they need not only for their child or loved one, but their entire family must be supported in the process. Our vision is to see that anyone impacted by substance abuse / co-occurring issues, receives the education, support, and services needed to improve and maintain their health and well-being.

MOMSTELL will continue to support and unite parents and family members in order to work together towards supporting parents, ending stigma, and advocating for improvement in substance abuse treatment and recovery.  We want to see the stigma surrounding the disease of addiction drastically reduced and ultimately eliminated. Treatment and Recovery must be within the grasp of every individual and family member.

Can you explain the goal of the National Family Dialogue?

In 2009, the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration’s (SAMHSA) Center for Substance Abuse Treatment (CSAT) convened the first national meeting of family members of youth with substance use disorders. This historic meeting brought together representatives of families of youth who were receiving, or who had received, treatment for substance use disorders.

The purpose was to identify challenges and opportunities to improve the youth treatment and recovery system and to strengthen family involvement in that system at the Federal, State, and Tribal levels. Family members from 34 States, the District of Columbia and 4 Tribal Nations attended the conference. This meeting is where the NFD began.

The goals of the National Family Dialogue (NFD) included strengthening and shaping the roles and responsibilities of families as valued partners and advocates in the youth substance use treatment and recovery system, developing supports to empower families of youth with substance use disorders in order to create positive changes in the youth treatment and recovery system and developing recommendations for CSAT/SAMHSA on strengthening and expanding family involvement in youth treatment and recovery at the practice, program, and policy levels.

The NFD has provides an opportunity for family members of youth with substance use disorders to have a voice. Our approach includes creating a network of individuals, groups, and organizations to promote coordination and collaboration.  Those local or regional based individuals groups and organizations will assist in reaching an even broader audience with resources and support.

Given the current pockets of excellence within local and state substance use disorder families, groups, and organizations across the country, the opportunity to create a strong national voice is within reach. That organized voice can coordinate learning and resource exchange, educate on national initiatives impacting families, such as the Affordable Health Care Act and inform decision-makers of the family experiences when seeking and or accessing treatment and recovery services and supports.

What are three suggestions that you have for families who are struggling with an addicted family member? 

Why is it that with the disease of addiction, we cannot stop, take a deep breath and think about a plan of attack for this devastating disease? We seem to quickly react and spend time worrying about what to do than actually doing something?  I was guilty of that, but to be honest, I was uneducated about addiction.

One of my top three suggestions for families who are struggling with an addicted family member is first, educate yourself about the disease of addiction. Whenever our loved ones are really sick, we insist on a Doctor’s visit in order to diagnose the problem. If you’re like me, when a serious diagnosis is made like diabetes or cancer, you begin to read everything you can about the disease, so you know not only what you’re up against. You learn about treatment methods, how to take care of your loved one’s overall health, and prevention methods, so their chances of recovery are greatly improved. Why should substance abuse addiction be any different in our quest for answers?

Secondly, learn to act, not react.  The Center for Motivational Change has a publication called the 20-minute guide. In this guide, you learn how to communicate in a more positive approach with your child. (Now if you’re skeptical about being positive in this frustrating, mind-boggling, uncontrollable situation, so was this parent.)

I was made a believer in the Community Reinforcement and Family Training (CRAFT) communication method when I saw results in my own children’s lives.

Thirdly, make time to take care of yourself as well.  We as parents tend to neglect our own mental health needs in the midst of all this turmoil. I was so focused on my children that I could not see the toll this was taking on my own health and wellbeing and soon developed post-traumatic stress syndrome from the constant chaos and stress.

How could I give my child the best possible advice and help when I was falling apart inside? I sought treatment and began the process of getting myself healthy and in return could make healthier decisions concerning my child. Self-care is a critical and must not be neglected.

What is your vision going forward?

My personal vision is that addiction will be seen and understood as a disease that must be addressed with quality treatment and which is readily available for anyone who needs it.  Families must receive support services in order to effectively help their addicted loved one and themselves. I envision a time when substance abuse families are welcomed and appreciated in the treatment and recovery process and to see family involvement embedded in the treatment plans of individual and families valued at the system tables at the program, practice and policy levels.

To see parents and family members unite with “one voice” creating positive change in substance abuse treatment, education, legislation, and policy is a vision I want to see become a reality in my lifetime.

 Sharon LeGore is the founder and president of MOMSTELL, Inc. a parent advocacy organization she formed after the drug overdose death of her 18-year-old daughter Angela. She created the MOMSTELL website to expand the reach of joining concerned parents, family members, and loved ones together to educate, support and unite everyone impacted by substance abuse/co-occurring issues as well as improving drug treatment, education, legislation, and policy issues.

Did you like this article? Please share your thoughts in the comment section below and share the interview on Facebook, Twitter, and Google+.  Also, if you need to contact me, please feel free to use the contact form or e-mail me directly at (cathy@cathytaughinbaugh.com) Don’t hesitate to reach out and let me know how I can help you.