I like to introduce you to Barbara Theodosiou, founder of The Addict’s Mom, a group focusing on the mothers of addicted children.
Please introduce yourself to the reader.
I am the founder of The Women’s Business Mastermind Group and the Addict’s Mom as well as the mother of four children, two that struggle with addiction. One has been clean for several years and the other is still deep into his addiction. “I was physically sick and lost in the sadness of their addictions. I was a woman with great personal and professional success. From the outside, it would appear as if I had it all, but on the inside, I was broken, no, shattered into a million pieces.”
Through my work with various women’s organizations, I’ve been featured in the front cover of the Miami Herald, the Sun-Sentinel, Chanel 5 News, Positive Thinking Magazine, Happy Herald, Comcast Newsmakers, South Florida Parenting Magazine, and have also been interviewed on all the major TV and radio stations in the region. I’m a former Mainframe Computer Training Manager of Loews Corporation, with a Master’s Degree in Family Therapy from Nova Southeastern University.
Tell us about your website The Addict’s Mom and what inspired you to start it?
Through my brokenness an idea was born, The Addict’s Mom. “Deep inside I knew I was not the only mom suffering. I knew there had to be other mothers who were going through the same emotional pain that I was. I wanted to create a place for mothers of addicts to come and have the freedom to share our pain without feeling the shame that often comes with having a child that is an addict. As the mother of two addicts, it has taken me four years to realize that I matter- that my life has a purpose. I didn’t have to die inside because my sons were addicts. I am learning that I am important to myself and the other people in my life, my husband, and my kids.”
The Addict’s Mom is a dynamic group of women who share a powerful connection: they are all mothers of addicted children. The group’s mission is to empower the addict’s mother so she becomes emotionally and physically healthy. Addict’s moms face challenges that few really understand. They suffer both emotionally and physically because they are often obsessed with their addicted children. Their health gradually declines and the pain of having an addicted child never goes away. Their relationships with other family members suffer as they try to keep the family unit together. The Addict’s Mom is a rapidly growing community of thousands.
Together these women support one another, learn from each other, and grow from the wisdom of leading experts on addiction from around the world. You are invited to join The Addict’s Mom for free on Facebook at www.addictsmomgroup.com and on the website at www.theaddictsmom.com.
I noticed that you are collecting stories from other moms? What is the purpose of this?
Being the mother of an addicted child is a painful journey that covers a wide range of emotions. I am collecting stories for a book that will contain true stories/poems of extraordinary moms who share their personal stories of the difficulties and challenges they face every day. I believe in the power of sharing. Just one word, one line can change the perspective of an addicted child’s mother helping her to understand she is not alone.
At this stage, what are the top 3 things you’ve learned about addiction and/or codependency that have helped you in your own recovery?
Referring back to the 3 “C’s” “I didn’t cause it, I can’t control it and I can’t cure it” The Addict’s Mom members have added a fourth “C”- I don’t have to contribute to it!
What advice do you have for parents of drug addicts/alcoholics who are just coming to terms with the diagnosis or suspicion of their son or daughter’s substance abuse?
Mary Tiffany, a member of the Addict’s Mom, said it best – YOU are going to need support in this. This disease will not let you be the kind of parent you wanted to be. You are going to want guidance on how to parent a child who is an addict. EVERY parent who has a child with any illness needs some kind of direction on how to deal with it…whether that illness is allergies, ADD, ADHD, cancer, cystic fibrosis, or anything. Getting guidance from people who can help you understand when you are “supporting” and when you are “enabling.” This is NOT an easy journey!
What do you enjoy doing in your free time?
In my free time my I enjoy spending time with my husband and children as well as reading, exercise, and catching up with friends.
Are you a mom who is struggling because of your child’s substance use? Let us know in comments what has helped you.
I’m not a mom but had to comment to support your cause. Thanks for taking the initiative to do a great service for these mothers.
Hi Bryce,
You don’t have to be a mom to understand the pain this disease can cause families. Barbara has a wonderful organization that really supports mom in this situation. Thanks for your comment.
Hi Cathy,
Thank you for calling in to my blog, much appreciated. I’m obviously not a Mum however echo Bryce’s sentiments. Congrats on your work to date & for the future.
be good to yourself
David
Hi David,
It’s wonderful all the support online to help families in need with this disease. Thanks for your comment.
i like interview posts
thanks for it Cathy, it was very useful 🙂
Hi Farouk,
Interview posts I believe are good for everyone. The reader learns about the person is a direct way and the guest post is easier to do, as it requires just answering several questions. I’ve been using interviews quite a bit lately and it seems to be working well. Thanks for your comment.
Thankfully, the world of online support continues to grow. This interview will help erase the shame and stigma of addiction in the family, allowing mothers to reclaim their health and sanity. Thanks for the great post!
There are many resources online, which is great. Barbara’s program is very supportive for mothers. I think the blogs and websites filled with information is moving us closer to awareness and letting go of the stigma of addiction. Thanks for your comment,
Hi, it’s Saturday night and I am having a very bad night. My 19 year old son is out and on the loose. He is an oxy addict, among other things. He’s been stealing to support his habit and tonight I found out, because he left his Facebook open, that he stole his dad’s toolbox out of our garage and was going to trade it in to an old man for an oxy prescription. My son has been addicted for at least 2 years. He went to detox for 7 days in July, and I found out that the day he got out of detox, he was doing oxys again. I also found out tonight, from Facebook, that he’s been doing more oxys each day since detox. Last Friday night, I had to take him to the ER because he was detoxing again, this time at home, and he was having a very rough time. I am scared. He is attending meetings, comes home from them all excited to tell me what he’s learned, but he is still at it. He is borrowing money from everyone and owes cash stores in our area about $1,000, and his seasonal job will be done in a few weeks. Presently, we are trying to get him into a 5 week residential treatment centre, he does want to go to this. He knows he needs help. But he continues to lie to my husband and myself, telling me tonight he was fine and clean, when I know he isn’t. I am supposed to go pick him up from his friends house in a little over an hour. He lied to me and isn’t with this friend, I cannot locate him and am scared. I am tired and this is taking it’s toll on me. My husband works out of town 8 days a week and is home for 4 days. I haven’t told him tonight what’s going on, he can’t do anything about it anyway because he is 4 hours away and even so, I don’t want to scare him with this. He has enough on his mind with working and trying to earn money to keep our family afloat. I just am scared and tired of living like this, always worrying about my son. I can’t wait to get him into that rehab facility, I pray to God it is very soon. Pray for my son and my family please everyone. Thank You.
Hi Kim, I know this is a very difficult situation. If he is willing to go to rehab, the better for all of you. You might seek help through an addiction counselor or therapist specializing in addiction to help you. Also an Al-Anon meeting might be helpful to you. We will keep you in our thoughts, and wish you the best.
hi
ii am new to this site, but i understand what u are going threw. my son is 26 and is addicted to opiates and he is also on methadone. i worry about him all the time , in my mind i have already buried him, i have identified his body and make all the arrangements in my mind only because i feel one day i am going to get that call. he also has stolen from his father his tools jewelry etc and always is lying to us. i am so tired of worrying like this, the sad thing is my other son who is doing so well does not see me happy its like all my energy is put on my son the addict. i know this is so unfair but i am trying to do better with that. i wish u all the best with your son and hope he is ok and please tell your husband u r not super woman this is his child to u both r in this together u cant hold this all on your shoulders goood luck
My 27 year old son has been battling drug addiction for over 10 years now.Heroin is his drug of choice now. In fact any drug he takes he uses a needle. I can not begin to tell you how many times I have written my son’s obituary in my mind. I also plan his funeral but since his friends are addicts I don’t want any of them around so I’ve decided no memorial, no burial. I will just have him cremated. Isn’t that pitiful? He’s not dead but he is dying. It’s just a matter of time and I don’t mean months or years. I mean any minute. I wait for that phone call and knock at the door every day.I am the WORST enabler. He can con and manipulate me out of everything and make me do anything. I can’t do tough love but have learned to be tougher. I won’t let him back in my house to live EVER again. He has stolen EVERYTHING of value I have EVER owned. Electronics, jewelry, precious, irreplaceable things. He has stolen my debit card, any cash I’ve had. I am BROKE,I have nothing. He has either taken it or it was spent trying to help him. He has been in about 10 rehabs, countless detox centers,halfway houses, sober living homes,etc. He destroyed my home causing 50,000 dollars in damage. He has stolen my car numerous times.The last time he GAVE my car to a drug dealer which ended in a 2 county police chase and my car being wrecked which was 7,000 dollars. He spent a year in prison. Several times in county jail. Just 10 days ago I STUPIDLY bonded him out of jail on a probation violation. This was 1,000 dollars on a TEN THOUSAND DOLLAR BOND! How stupid can a person be? I let him stay here a week until I could get him back into the sober living facility.He started using drugs less than 24 hours after bonding him out. I couldn’t get him to leave. Finally on Monday his girlfriend came and agreed to take him back, an hour away from here, to get into detox. He couldn’t get in or didn’t try but eventually ended up in the ER after much coaxing from me. They aren’t equipped to handle addicts but he is in there behavioral unit.They won’t keep him but a couple of days.He did this same thing a few weeks ago and they did, surprisingly,find him a detox center and transported him. I don’t know what will happen this time. I’ve told him that if he can show me that he is serious about his sobriety while he is there I will pay to get him back into the sober living facility.So far all he seems to care about is if his drug addict girlfriend still “loves” him and if she has called. The county he is in has a real close knit community of recovering addicts.The sober ones will do anything to help those who are still using BUT only if they want the help.Everyone tells me to leave him alone, not to help him, not to answer his calls.I can’t.I HAVE to hear from him every day so I know he is still alive. He sells his cell phones for drugs and I replace them just so I can reach him to know he’s still alive.I have 3 other children, a year old grandson and a granddaughter on the way. They are all, and always have,done beautifully.They all have wonderful lives.They have cut themselves off from him and want NOTHING to do with him. They don’t even want to hear me mention his name. My mother does NOT EVER want to hear his name mentioned again.Two years ago I sold our family home to downsize.I thought I could live in my new, sweet, perfect home and have a nice life.It’s only worse.My other children are angry at me because I focus all my attention on him and can’t be there for them because I am emotionally exhausted dealing with my son. In fact, after my son destroyed my NEW home, my other children refused to have much of a relationship with me. Since my son moved to another county, an hour away,my other kids have started a relationship with me.I don’t tell them the things I do, they WOULD disown me.For instance bonding him out recently.Oh how I regret that SO MUCH. What was wrong with me? He was safe and alive and no drugs.The truth is, and it’s a long story,is that he was looking at serious PRISON time, 3-5 years. I couldn’t stand the thought of that. So while he was in jail he conned me into bonding him out with promises of going to detox, back to the sober living facility, and back to work. I had made all the arrangements while he was in jail. The sober facility said they would take him back and his boss said he would take him back. His boss said he would help me manage my sons money by giving ME his paychecks so I could pay his rent and all his bills, etc. It was a great plan and he was agreeable to it. But like I said less than 24 hours after bonding him out he was using IN MY HOME. It’s crazy. I WOULD NOT let him leave my house but he would get the dealer to drive here and while I was distracted he would run out and get his drugs without my knowing he’d left the house! I slept with my purse under my pillows but he could sneak in here and get it and take my cash. He stole my 300.00 dollar sound bar too. That sound bar was the THIRD one he had stolen from me! I kept replacing it. Previously when he stole from me, some of my stuff he admitted was in a pawn shop. I went and paid to get it all out and a few days later he pawned them again! NOTHING is left. I know I sound like the biggest idiot. I don’t know what I’m doing half the time. I am alone. My husband passed away from cancer 14 years ago. I’ve been alone since. I have NO ONE to talk to.I don’t know how to stop the insanity on my part. I am in a living hell.I won’t take advice because I always think my way is okay and my son is SO GOOD at coning me that I always believe him.I can’t tell you how many times he has convinced me to go to the ATM and get 10,20, 50, 100 dollars and then drive him to these drug dealers houses in these very rough neighborhoods so he can buy back the things he stole from me for drugs. He tells me to sit in the car at this park and he walks to the dealers house with my money. After a few minutes he returns with no money and none of my things. And I do it time after time after time. He is that good at convincing me! and I am that stupid and gullible. This year my son managed to stay sober 8 months and relapsed. I thought this was it. I was SO proud! I was DEVASTATED when he relapsed. I have’t been the same since. I REALLY thought this time that was it. I finally had my sweet, precious, smart, funny son back after 10 years! DAMN! My mother tells me I just have to accept that he is going to die. I can’t do it. My father always said “where there’s life, there’s hope”. I have been trying to accept his death though in the last several weeks. I tell myself that this is the life he wants to lead even though he know it will lead to death but this is what makes him happy and it’s worth the risk.I know I’m rambling, just venting I guess. I don’t know that there is anything that anyone can say to help me. I WISH there was one “magical” thing someone could say that would really hit home for me. I want to be happy and at peace. I want that for my son. I was diagnosed with Crohns disease 5 years ago.That is a living hell for me and dealing with him. I was in the hospital 6 times last year in 6 months. I had 2 surgeries.It was during one of my hospitalizations that my son broke into my house and destroyed it.I could go on and on and I guess I have.I could write a book. But the bottom line for me is I don’t want my son to DIE!!! There HAS to be something.His ex-girlfriend passed away in June from an overdose.I loved her dearly. It broke my heart and his. Her parents had been doing the tough love.After she passed away her mother wrote to my son “I’d give anything to have my daughter here with me right now”. Right then and there I thought I can NEVER give up on my son and I will do anything. I’m on antidepressants and anxiety meds. I HATE DRUGS! I want to try to do SOMETHING to help this epidemic but don’t know where to start. Narcan needs to be with EVERY first responder. It needs to be sold over the counter. It needs to be GIVEN to every addict to carry. Parents of addicts need it in their homes. We need more resources for addicts. More detox centers and not where they are tossed out on the street after 3 days with no where to go. They need to be accessed in detox centers for underlying psychiatric disorders that could be causing their addiction and treated with the appropriate medications.They need to be able to GET this medication FREE because they have no jobs or money. There needs to more access to suboxen and methadone that is FREE and easy to get to. These addicts don’t have transportation.There needs to be free treatment centers.There are not enough beds any where. Heroin/opiates are a national epidemic. Our young people are DYING in HUGE numbers every day. But where does the money come from? No one cares about drug addicts. They don’t understand that they are someone’s child, that they are loved.I can’t really blame them. Addiction is so hard to understand. It’s hard for me to understand.If anyone has any ideas please contact me.I’m in, I just don’t know how or where to start.Pray for my son.Thank you.
Patricia are u still out there. I just saw your post from a few years ago. I was going through the same thing at the same time. Still am jan Chicago
Thank you for your reply Cathy. I know that I do need to get myself to support meetings held in my area, it’s tough though because I’m driving my son to his meetings at night as well, but I know I should take the time to do this for myself. I will read Barbara’s blogs, that will be very helpful as well. I will keep you posted regarding my son’s progress (hopefully it WILL BE progress 😉 and what happens as far as his rehab placement goes. Thanks again, knowing somebody out there is listening helped already.
Hi Kim,
You can find a lot of virtual hope, strength and support at http://www.mothersseekingserenity.com, which is authored by three moms who have children in active addiction or recovery. It is so comforting to know that you are not alone and that others have felt the shame, fear, anger and sadness of having a child in active addiction. I hope that you find information and support there that will help you and your son find recovery.
Hi Susan,
It is wonderful to have support especially for moms when their kids have addiction issues. Thanks for your comment.
My 27 yr old son is a meth addict as well as liking any narcotic he can get. He admitted to his addiction a month ago after long mother-son talks about his behavior and choices that have hurt him terribly. He went into treatment for 9 days. We found out he left when we went to family group and we were pulled out to hear he left with another addict he befreinded. I sobbed. After days of worrying where he was, he connected and is now with a roommate who has taken him in. Since all this, he has disconnected from everyone who loves him. He will not call me, and hardly answers any text. But when I have been around him, he is glued to his phone. The pain of this is undescribable. I am greiving every day. Sometimes I do not know why I still exist. I am no where near detachment, because I am his mother and I cannot detach from that. The sadness penetrates every part of my being. Thank you for this blog…this is my first on-line support spot. I attend Naranon when I can.
Hi Cathy,
My heart goes out to you and your situation. Unfortunately this is the disease of addiction and how it plays out sometimes. As a mother or any family member it is emotionally exhausting. Please remember that you are not alone. That is great that you are going to Naranon and Alanon, especially a Parent’s Group can also be a helpful support group. Detaching does not mean that you let go of your concern for him, but it does mean you set boundaries for yourself. Taking care of yourself allows to better deal with the situation.
A professional such as an addiction counselor, or therapist can be very helpful. It is recommended that you seek outside help, as family members are often too emotionally close to the situation. Another resource is Partnership for a DrugFree.org. There website has lots of resources and help and can be found on Treatment Talk’s Resource page along with other helpful books and links.
Please contact me and give me an update. Thanks for your comment and my best to you and your family.
Cathy I so know your pain you’re feeling. I have a 22 year old son who I just found his glass pipe and meth crystals after suspecting he’s been on them based on his behavior these last few months. I can’t function at my job. My husband is equally heartbroken seeing my son slowly killing himself. He is hardly ever home but when he is he’s always on his phone which I pay for. I want to shut it down but don’t want to loose any form of communication with him. He has a job but will probably be fired soon for showing up late. He owes car payments, ccards too but I am not paying them. That kills me too that he is willing to see his credit go down the drain cause he can’t pay his bills. I am just so tired of the merry go round. I don’t know how to let go and let him suffer his consequences?
Hi Kris,
Welcome! I feel your pain as well. It is always difficult to sit back and watch our kids make poor choices. It is a challenge to let go. One thing that helps is to something positive that he is doing that you can acknowledge, even if it is a small thing. The other side of that is to let the world be his teacher. It is not always easy. Having him know that you love and support him, but that you are not going to shield him from the consequences of his actions can help. I’ll email you with some other resources as well. Wishing you and your son all the best.
I am lying here in bed with fear.my 22 year meth addicted daughter is wandering the city streets. Her 3 plus years of meth use have rendered her into a psychotic lying thief…she was so smart and accomplished..until her second year of college. My pride is broken..my life diminished through heartbreak. Any glimpse of joy I take from the day ..turns to guilt. Let go..let go..let go they say. … i am sort of numb..every time the phone rings..I think it’s the jail..the police or the coroner. How do I ever live again?
Kathy, I feel the same. 12 months of sobriety for my daughter from meth od!! Well turns out she is using again. My life has been on hold for so long. This is the 3rd attempt for her. My son uses also. I often ask myself. Karma.. What did I do to ride this train to hell.
I’m so grateful to have found a place to connect and learn. My 28-yr old son is currently in his first week of a 28-day recovery program following a ten-day detox program. We learned about his oxy addiction the night prior to finding a detox center and getting him in. Feels like a hellish tornado from out of nowhere although, of course, there were signs — I simply didn’t recognize exactly what they meant. It helps immensely to hear from others’ experiences … I have much to learn. Sending a virtual hug with much gratitude to everyone here.
Hi Susan,
Welcome, I’m so glad you are here! Please be sure to check the resource and archive pages, for there is a lot of information for parents. I felt the same way when I found out my child was addicted to crystal meth. It was sudden and then as a parent you feel the weight of making sure you make the right choices. Although this problem is your child’s, offering them the best help available is vital. That is wonderful that your son is in recovery. Be sure to remember that you are not alone, there are many parents out there in a similar situation. There is always hope for your son. I wish him the best with his recovery. Please contact me if you have any questions or if you need further resources. Hugs back to you as well. Hang in there. Every day gets a little better.
On the morning of August 13th, I discovered my 17-year old daughter was addicted to drugs when I saw a text message. I was devastated beyond belief to find out that she has used every single drug in the book, but has been using meth and cocaine daily for the last 8 months or so. She is currently in day 12 of an in-patient treatment program. Having been a single mom since she was 3, we have always had a very close, loving relationship. I began to suspect something was not right when she lost a lot of weight, but I confronted her and believed her when she said she was just under stress with hard classes, work, friend drama, etc. and thought she was just going through a growth spurt. It’s hard not to blame myself. She tells me that I am in no way to blame and that I have been a wonderful mother. I know she fees rejected by her father, but I never imagined the extent of her pain and I always tried to give her double the love. I feel like my life turned upsidedown overnight. I was in the middle of planning my wedding/honeymoon in Ocotber and was the happiest I’d ever been. Family members have told me to cancel everything and , with urging from our counselors, I have decided not to. I deserve happiness and it is a long time coming for me. Never in a million years would I have thought I’d be living this nightmare. I’m so thankful she is still alive, but am so scared to have her come home…
Hi Ann,
My heart goes out to you and your daughter. The good news is that she is in treatment and on the road to recovery. It can be a rocky road at times, but she is on the right path and that is all good. My daughter was on meth as well and she is doing really well now, 7 years later, so your daughter can do the same. I was a single mom as well during some of the time that my kids were growing up. It does affect them, and I didn’t realize the extent of that, but remember all kids who have single moms do not become addicted to drugs!
Do not blame yourself. I did that as well for years. Have you attended any parent support groups? Do you think that would be helpful? When I realized that there are many happily married couples who seem like wonderful parents and their child become addicted, I let go of blaming myself. Sure, there are things I would have done differently. We all do the best we can at the time.
Enjoy your wedding!! You deserve it and you are important too. When these things happen, we tend to stop our lives because we blame ourselves. That doesn’t help your daughter or you. Have fun and by October, hopefully your daughter will be in a better place. One thing I realized for my daughter was that 30 days was not enough time and between two treatment centers and sober living, she was in some kind of a program for close to a year and for us that was very helpful.
You did a great thing by realizing that she was using drugs and you were proactive and got her help. Be proud of yourself for that. You have done a great service for your daughter and she will thank you one day. Take care and sending love.
I am a 46 yr old Mom to two adult addicted daughters. One 30 has been addicted to Pain killers and meth for about 12 yrs. The other is 26 and is shooting up heroine several times a day. They both have children but none in their care. I have lived the past 12 yrs in deep emotional turmoil. I had high hope that my eldest would get better but only watched her get worse even taking on extreme physcal damage. I’ve also watched her 12 yr old daughter go through her own world of hurt from longing for her mom and never getting that need met. Now my 2nd daughter is doing unspeakabe things in one of the worst parts of San Francisco. I don’t know…. I just wanted type this… I blame myself so much for all my past mistakes with them. I know them well even if they don’t. And even though I can fully take responsibility nothing I do will have any impact on their daily life choices. I wish I would have listeded to the words of wisdom handed to me back when. Now I only wonder if they will die in this state that they are in. Not really wondering but rather knowing that if they continue it will happen eventually. Just when, and how will I deal with that.
Hi Andrea,
My heart goes out to you! I know those feelings of pain, frustration, sadness, and fear. As a mom, I felt helpless when my daughter was addicted. What is most important at this point is for you to get help for yourself. I’m sure you are under a great amount of stress and watching your daughters self-destruct can be emotionally exhausting. Support in the form of Al-Anon, Naranon or a professional therapist/coach was extremely helpful to me. Do you feel that this kind of support would help you? If so, let me know and I would be happy to help you with resources.
Dear Andrea. ..my 22 year old is also on the streets..but here in Atlanta… I know,she has resorted to those unspeakable acts as well. It is unbelievable. .she is so sick..she tries to shock me with her sordid stories..after she had a fairly good up bringing. .why does she torture me even further? I feel your pain. .but I am sure these young women MUST know there is a mother out there who loves them despite all their behaviors. I pray for your peace and mine Andrea..God be with you and our girls.
Hi Cathy. This is really a great post especially for mothers out there who were going through the same emotional pain. Glad to know that the world of online communities for moms continues to grow. Keep posting.
I’m the addicts girlfriend, I NEED advice for her, she’s such a very strong woman. But her husband has just had a stroke, and her son, my boyfriend started injecting heroin, he is no longer injecting heroin but now injecting subutex- A Substitute for heroin, she doesn’t know what to do, she says she ends up shouting at him and crying, and that just makes him worse to be honest. I would really appreciate advice. It would be of great help for everyone involved. Thank you.
Hi Tamia,
I’m sorry to hear about your situation. I like and use a program called CRAFT (Community Reinforcement and Family Training). I will send the 20 Minute Guide pdf to your email. There is also a good book, Beyond Addiction. You can find out more about CRAFT at the Center for Motivation and Change. (http://motivationandchange.com/) One on one help might make a difference as well. Check out my coaching page or look for a reputable counselor or therapist. Best of luck to you. Please know that there is hope.
Hello, I have so much to say but could never type it all at once. My 30 yr old daughter is a Heroin addict, which began when she was 19. She gave up her first born son to the other Grand Parents, I am raising her 8 yr old daughter. My grand daughter wants her Mom so bad, loves her so much but my daughter barely makes time for her. This breaks my heart. My daughter steals from us, walks over us, always comes to us yet says terrible things about us to other people. Why?/ We have sacrificed everything to help her, we are taking care of her daughter too..
Hi Connie,
Addiction is a disease that can devastate families. That is so generous of you to take care of your grandchild. I know it is baffling to understand your daughter’s behavior. Do try and get support for yourself. I really like the book, Beyond Addiction as a resource on how to better communication with your child. Do reach out if I can be of any help.
My 38 year old son has again left his family of 4 children and partner because of Meth use. I have his 16 year old son living me and my son’s stepfather. My heart is broken again, I know he struggles with anxiety and depression but medicates himself in this way. How do I function while I watch my beautiful, loving son destroy his life and his kids. I feel he will not survive this time. He does not keep in touch like in the past, therefore I feel this time he is worse. I love him so much and can’t help but remember my son and the person he was/is without Meth. I am really struggling, the pain I feel affects my life. It is like I am watching him destroy his life and I can’t say him.
Hi Sharon,
I know that is so hard to watch as a mom. Do get support for yourself, via support groups, coaching or counseling. I do like the CRAFT approach which is a more positive way to communicate with your son and can help motivate him to change. Self-care is critical because this is stressful, and so I hope you can find ways to take care of yourself.
I’m a father of a daughter on Heroin. I need a place to share I live in Cumming Georgia.
HI Thomas,
I’m sorry to read about your daughter. I know that is challenging for parents. I wold try SMART Recovery Friends and Family groups or Al-Anon groups. Both are supportive of parents. SMART Recovery can be found online at http://www.smartrecovery.org/. Al-Anon can be found here – http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/.
I would be happy to offer you a complimentary strategy session. You can find out more and register here – https://cathytaughinbaugh.com/complimentary-strategy-session/
Hi my name is Kerri Wilson. I have just learned that my son is on drugs that involves pipes. He is only 13 Years old. and now is in a group home. He has been in trouble with the law damaging property also.
HI Kerrinda,
Do reach out and get support for yourself and your son. I know this can be challenging for family members, especially moms. Take care.
This interview will help erase the shame and stigma of addiction in the family, allowing mothers to reclaim their health and sanity. Thanks for the great post!
Where are all these moms now. I want to hear from them. I just found all of u. What a nightmare from hell it has been. I isolated myself and stayed sick any updates of hope would be so helpful. Thank u so much
Where have I been. I just found all of u. I was so alone with this nightmare for years and years. No one wanted to hear about my daughter since she was 15. She is 50 now on the streets of Chicago. I can relate to every post. A living hell alone . Jan