Are You Ready to Take Care of Yourself?

Are you looking for ideas on how to take care of yourself?

Would some tips help you feel and do better?

I’ve been talking with some moms recently because their child is experimenting with drugs and alcohol.

Other moms feel very stressed because their child has become dependent on a substance.

Many of these moms are feeling stuck. They are anxious about their child. They want the problem to be fixed so that their child will be healthy and they can go on with their everyday life.

They want to do everything right to return to their comfort zone. I’ve been there and wanted the same things for my family.

But here is the missing link. Parents may not be doing anything to help themselves.

Drug and alcohol use affects the entire family. Family dynamics may be part of the picture when understanding why your child has chosen to use them.

If you are the parent of a child with a drug or alcohol issue, you must take care of yourself so that your life will get better. Self-care is crucial.

Due to peer pressure or other reasons, many of our kids decide to use drugs or alcohol.

As they say on the airlines, put your oxygen mask on before helping others. Helping yourself first will help you the most when dealing with your child’s drug or alcohol dependence.

It is essential to educate yourself to have more understanding of the problem. It gives you a sense of why your child has become dependent on drugs or alcohol. You will be better prepared to respect and support your child’s recovery.

Nourishing yourself in a way that helps you blossom in the direction you want to go is attainable, and you are worth the effort. ~ Deborah Day

Here are some tips for caring for yourself and keeping your family stable during this stressful time.

Take care of yourself first.

So often, parents go to support group meetings or coaching/therapist appointments with the idea that this will fix their child. Studies have shown that support groups don’t help get your child into a treatment program. They are focused on you as a parent or other family member, helping themselves. When you discover that your child is struggling because of drug or alcohol use, working on yourself is the best place to start.

It is essential to examine the family dynamic, genetic link, child environment, childhood trauma, and mental health issues. These factors play into why your child started down this road. When we look at these and understand and accept our role as a parent, we will fully support our child’s recovery. And this doesn’t mean the substance use is your fault. It implies that addiction affects the entire family.
Be sure to get support or seek professional help. Go with the understanding that you are there to fix yourself first, and then you can help your son or daughter.

Be sure to get support or seek professional help. Go with the understanding that you are there to fix yourself first, and then you can help your son or daughter.

Take care of your body.

Exercise can help you feel and do better. We can use our bodies to help heal our minds. Practice recovery like you want your child to practice their recovery, and part of that is taking care of your body.

Walk for at least 20 minutes daily or do another exercise such as yoga, tennis, or running. Your mind will begin to heal, and you can work out issues concerning you with a brisk walk every day. Do you want your child to be physically fit? Be physically healthy, and you will be a role model who can be so helpful.

Take care of your mind.

A meditation practice can be something that will help you feel calmer and more balanced. Start small. Everyone can sit quietly for one minute. Start there. If you want to know how meditation can benefit you, read 7 Compelling Reasons to Start a Meditation Practice. 

Meditation can heal your mind and stop the constant mind chatter that keeps you worried, anxious and stressed about your child’s future. You’ll want your child to be giving their mind a needed break. Give your mind a break as well.

Embrace a new dream for your child.

Know that the dreams that you once had for your child are now gone. That sounds harsh, even as I write those words. But that is a true statement. Your child will never be the same, and neither will you.

But I will tell you from experience that you can have a different dream for your child. This dream could be even bigger and better than you ever expected. Your child may grow and change in ways you never knew were possible.

And our kids need their parents to change and evolve too!

Related article: 40 Valuable Self-Care Ideas to Help You Feel More Resilient

Write about your feelings.

Writing in a journal has helped me in immeasurable ways. Take a few moments each day to write how you are feeling.

Journaling is a beautiful place to release all the anger, frustration, and fear. It can be a source of new ideas, a place to write quotes, or other things you want to remember. It is one of the keys to your inner being, a doorway to your innermost thoughts. Adding three things you are grateful for at the end of your entry will help you feel more optimistic. You will look for something to add to your journal during the day.
As your child heals, he may write about his experiences and feelings. Writing helps you get in touch with yourself. Even if you write only a few times a week, it can help lower your stress level.

Give your other children the attention they deserve.

One last thought is that your child with drug or alcohol issues often receives all the attention when they are amid their destructive behavior. They can be center stage. The rest of the family has to take a back seat to the problem.

If you have other family members, especially other children, don’t cut them short of the attention they deserve. Siblings often feel the pain of the addiction, yet they have no say in how the problem is handled. It can be a frustrating situation. Please do what you can to keep their life as normal as possible.

Please give other family members your undivided attention each day.

Remember, the more you care for yourself, the better off your child will be.

What do you think a parent’s role is in their child’s drug or alcohol dependence? What have you found helpful around self-care

Access research-based resources to help you support your child in a kind, compassionate way, which can lead to change.