My recovery will always be at the top of my gratitude list, as it is the most precious gift I’ve ever received. ~Becky Vance
About a year ago, I had the pleasure of connecting with Becky Vance.
An unsung hero, Becky works in all aspects of her life to spread awareness and education so that your children might be spared the ravages of substance abuse and addiction.
She is responsible for directing media outreach in Texas, Colorado, New Mexico, Nevada, Utah, Georgia, North Carolina and South Carolina.
Becky is dedicated to teen substance abuse prevention. It is clear, and such a gift that she is passionate about promoting a drug-free life for families.
Without further ado, here is my interview with Becky Vance.
Why did you decide to join The Partnership at DrugFree.org?
I knew from my very first encounter with the organization (while working in prevention at the local level) that they were really making a difference. Their research, media campaigns and their people were all top-notch, passionate, creative, and I wanted to be a part of all of that! Being in long-term recovery myself, the opportunity to work with an organization I grew up with, and the opportunity to help so many people on such a large-scale, was very exciting.
A little background……………
In 2004, I had made the decision that I was tired of talking about drugs all of the time (for my work) because I was feeling burned out with it all. I accepted a job offer from one of my board members to work in the private sector. I was very excited and thrilled to be moving up the corporate ladder.
What I soon discovered was that job satisfaction doesn’t come from having a title that includes “Vice President.” It didn’t matter how many deals I closed or how much money I made. What mattered, for me at least, was making a difference–in the lives of people, and in the world.
I happened to run into a colleague from the “old days” and soon came to the realization that I missed the drug prevention world. I couldn’t just walk away! So I picked up the phone, called someone I’d met at The Partnership, and the next thing I knew I was flying to San Diego for an interview and landed the job.
Talk about God’s perfect timing! That was over 7 years ago and I still love what I do.
For those not familiar with the organization, please explain the goals of The Partnership and how it came to be.
Ninety percent of addictions start in the teenage years. The Partnership for Drug-Free Kids is dedicated to solving the problem of teen substance abuse. Together with experts in science, parenting and communications, the nonprofit translates research on teen behavior, addiction and treatment into useful and effective resources for both individuals and communities.
Working toward a vision where all young people will be able to live their lives free of drug and alcohol abuse, The Partnership at Drugfree.org collaborates with parents and other influencers to help them prevent and get help for drug and alcohol abuse by teens and young adults.
Since 1986, The Partnership (then known as the Partnership for a Drug-free America) has led the call to action to raise adolescent and parent awareness through award-winning campaigns such as “Your Brain on Drugs”. Twenty six years later, our impact has evolved to becoming the cause leader in the issue of teen and young adult substance abuse, and works daily to bring efficient information and hands-on guidance to communities across the country.
What challenges have you gone through that have contributed to your success?
I believe that overcoming my addiction has been the catalyst for my success. I have been fortunate enough to work in the field of prevention/intervention and treatment since I first got sober in 1988. I’ve had the opportunity to learn so much professionally that has helped me personally.
I’ve met some incredible people and learned so much from them. My recovery journey has given me all of the tools I need to succeed. As my self-confidence grew and I became willing to let go, I’ve had so many what I call “God moments” and they have brought me here, to where I am today.
There is absolutely no way that I would be here had I not found recovery. Now I am able to help so many people in so many different ways, and that is what truly makes my heart sing.
What overall message do you hope to share with parents concerned about their teen?
The primary message I want to share with parents is that they are not alone. When it comes to their kids and drugs they need to trust their gut and not be afraid to ask for help. Don’t let shame and stigma keep you from reaching out.
Taking that first step is very scary but the result of not taking action can be a lot more frightening. Addiction is a treatable disease, and the sooner you get help, the better the chance for a successful outcome.
Please name some important things that you feel parents can do to help prevent alcohol and drug abuse with their teen.
- Spend quality time with them and know who their friends are.
- Keep the lines of communication open at all times, so they will feel comfortable talking about anything.
- Listen.
- Set boundaries and model healthy behavior.
- Most importantly, do not try to be their best friend.
Begin talking to your kids early about the dangers of alcohol and other drugs.
What advice do you have for parents of addicts who are just coming to terms with the diagnosis or suspicion of their son or daughter’s alcohol or drug abuse?
Again, you are not alone, and we are here to help. Call our toll-free helpline (1-855-DRUGFREE) and speak to a professional. In addition to the expertise and support our counselors provide, we also have a network of other parents who have been through this and are willing to support you by sharing their experience, strength and hope.
Take care of yourselves while you are taking care of your teen.
This is vitally important for your own mental health. Taking care of yourself can mean Al-Anon or other 12-Step groups, parent support groups in your community, or professional counseling. Learn everything you can about this disease of addiction. Knowledge is power.
What do you like to do in your free time?
I love to travel, especially to beautiful beaches! This is where I feel most connected to my Higher Power and myself. I love to take long walks on those beaches and hunt for sea shells.
Each one is unique and beautiful in its own way. I bring some home from each vacation and put them in crystal vases so I can “revisit” them in my mind anytime. I also like to read and spend time with soul mate, who is also in recovery, and our little dog named Jazzy.
What ideas do you have to help prevent teen substance abuse? Please leave your thoughts in comments.
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Fantastic interview, Cathy. It is so heartwarming to know that love and attention can make such a big difference. And knowing one is not alone when the need arises. Thank you for sharing. Love, Vidya
Thank you Vidya. What a great way to put it. Love and attention is what we all need. The effort that Beck is making to support parents is amazing. Take care.
Wonderful interview Cathy!
Being a mother of two teens I can well understand what the parents of teens troubled with substance abuse must be undergoing, even though my kids are a far-cry from that. Guess one can relate to things and all that happens coming to your blog and learning so much.
I loved the tips Becky shared, especially the one where you need to spend maximum time with your family and kids – I truly believe in that and something I write about a lot on my blog too. I guess kids need love, attention, understanding, and just want to be heard to most of the time. If they get all of these things at home, and a parent who is like a friend to them, I don’t think they would indulge into drugs and substance abuse, or would know how to deal with it or share it with their family because they would know they have their full support.
Parents DO need to keep their channels of communication always open and where teens are concerned, which is what we as a family believe, thus, there is a lot of talk and open discussion about things we have at home. If there is any kind of doubt in your mind about their behavior or you feel they aren’t behaving normally at home, you should reach out and seek help if talk therapy doesn’t help at first.
Thanks for sharing. 🙂
Hi Harleena,
I agree that communication is the key. It is so important to be proactive when it comes to substance abuse. I do want to add that parents can do so many of the right things, and on occasion, their child still becomes addicted. For me, it’s not letting denial get in the way of making hard choices when it comes to your teenagers. Living healthy lives are what is so important. Thanks for your insightful comment.
Thank you Becky & Cathy,
One of the rules I think is so important: Don’t try to be your child’s best friend.
Be a parent and act like one.
Hi Angela,
Yes, that is a great rule for all parents of teens. There is plenty of time when they are older to be friends and enjoy each other’s company. When they are younger, they do need a parent.
Great interview, Cathy. It’s wonderful to read about Becky and all the important work she is doing. I wish there was a Becky at every high school. Communication and being a parent (not a friend) is very important, and not always very easy especially if you’re in denial. I love reading about Becky’s love of sea shells on the beach. I, too, collect shells and save them.
Thanks to you both!
xoxo
Betsy
Hi Betsy,
Thanks for your kind words. Communication and being a parent are such important tips for anyone raising teens. Being in denial can keep us all stuck not willing or able to face the reality of our situation. We do need a Becky in every high school. Wouldn’t that be great! Take care – appreciate your support!
Great interview! Thanks so much for the information AND the personal story. It’s so fantastic to see people SO devoted to what they do and how lives are being changed because of it. Your passion is working overtime!
Hi Martha,
I believe when you’ve been through the addiction experience like Becky has, sometimes you realize that this is your life calling. I know that passion is burning inside Becky and from my experience, it is something I will never forget. Thank you!
What a great and powerful interview. And what an awesome woman Becky is! Those are some jaw-dropping stats about teens and drug abuse and I think it is amazing for people like Becky who are working with parents and teens to help prevent lives from being destroyed. As a parent of a young child I can only imagine what it would be like for my child to have to deal with these issues in just a few short years. It is good to know there are people and resources out there to turn to!
Hi Angie,
That is exactly what we want parents to know. There are many online and in person resources out there for parents. The Partnership has many support systems in place for parents at any stage with their teen. Education and awareness are key to preventing substance abuse and further addiction.
Awesome tips shared, especially “you need to spend maximum time with your family and kids.” Love is spelled time… and a willingness to do what you have to do to discipline (by that I mean teach) your child. And it begins when they are toddlers, not teenagers. It’s not easy being a parent, sometimes it hurts us more than it does the child. But the rewards are spectacular. Love your child enough to take the time to teach at all occasions. It is hard work. Your child will not always understand the why in the moment… but eventually he will. Great post!
Hi Norma,
So agree to your insightful comment. We do need to teach our children when they are young, by keeping the lines of communication open. It does begin when they are young. Love this line – “Love your child enough to take the time to teach at all occasions.” Beautiful – thank you!
Cathy-Thanks for the insightful interview with Becky. Becky, isn’t it interesting how we sometimes need to leave something in order to discover that it’s something we want in our live. You’re doing such meaningful work…I love your 5 points on what parents can do to help prevent alcohol and drug abuse.
I always appreciate your reminder Cathy, that parents can do a lot of things correctly…and still a child can become addicted. Fran
Hi Fran,
The five points are awesome – any parent can benefit from those. Parents spend so much time blaming themselves when their child becomes addicted or abuses drugs or alcohol. It is important for parents to remember that they did not cause their child’s addiction. I realized that after reading many stories about children from intact, loving families becoming addicted and those from dysfunctional families doing well. We all need loving parents and we all need to be aware of what we can do to help prevent the disease, but every person makes a choice on how they live their life. Thank you!
Becky Vance is one of the angels in the world. The dedication and knowledge she must have to work with this population must be exceptional!!
Hi Jeanne,
Wonderful words. We do need more like Becky with this kind of dedication. Thank you!
I have been blessed not to have this trouble with my children but not so lucky as to not see it happen to parents and kids I love. I was Hitler about it as my kids would say LOL . I would go through everything if I thought there was a problem. I have seen enough of it’s damage to be really afraid and protective of my children. Thank you for sharing this message with everyone. It happens in the best of families. A friend of mine was murdered at her office last night by a person desperate to get money for drugs. A person that took a life and wasted his own now to get his hands on more drugs. So very sad.
Hi Elizabeth,
That is great that you were so vigilant with your children. Being aware and educated on the dangers of substance abuse can make the difference for teens. How sad that your friend lost her life because of drugs I’m so sorry for your loss. Drugs make people do things that they normally would never do, so the more we prevent the addiction from starting, the better for all of us.
Great interview, thanks to both of you. I’ve mentioned before I have a good friend whose son struggles with addiction and is now recovering from an overdose. I will pass this post along. This touches all of us, trying to help our kids avoid addiction or recover from it. It’s an issue that is universal.
Hi Galen,
Be sure to let your friend know about The Partnership’s website. There are many valuable resources that are helpful to parents at any stage of their child’s addiction. Addiction is an epidemic, but if we are all more aware and understanding, we can help our children make better choices. Take care.
Thank you Becky and Cathy for this wonderful interview. There is so much here to help parents through this crucial time in their children’s lives. And, your willingness to share your story is very inspiring, Becky. I have a great deal of respect for The Partnership at DrugFree.org – they do tremendous work.
Hi Lisa,
The Partnership does amazing work and is such a great resource for parents struggling with their teen. Take care.
Excellent read and insight! Although I think that we can give guidance and still be their friend 🙂
Hi Anita,
Being a supportive “friend” of your child is different than being an enabling “friend” and trying to be part of your teen’s world. Some parents want to the be cool parents and lose sight of their good judgement. Certainly parents and teens can have loving, caring relationships. Take care.
I can definitely relate to what she said about finding out that having a corporate title wasn’t going to be as fulfilling as her old job — I took my own focus away from music for a while, during the time I was pushing to become a partner at a big law firm. I’m happy to say that I eventually realized that nothing was going to satisfy me like music would.
Hi Chris,
We can sometimes mold ourselves into what we think we need to be or what others want us to be. When we take the time to understand who we truly are, we can find that inner place where we discover our authentic self. Take care.
Thank you Becky – I appreciate this great info as the parent of a pre-teen.
Congratulations Becky on your many years in recovery! Your work is helping so many who are going through the chaos of addiction. Thank you for sharing your inspiring story!
Thank you for the support, Carolyn.
Terrific interview, Cathy, of someone who is obviously motivated from the heart … and doing work on the front lines with such a vulnerable population!
Wonderful interview! It’s great to learn from people who are deeply committed to what they are doing, especially when it comes to helping children and teens. Thanks!