This is a guest post by Lauren Springer on the value of support groups.
Addiction is progressive and chronic.
In the process, the addicted individual becomes detached from those he or she loves and the activities that used to bring joy.
He loses a connection to the world around him. He or she eventually becomes isolated from life. As the parent of an addicted person, can you identify a similar trend in your own life?
Has your child’s addiction resulted in a decline of outings with your friends or less participation in those special activities that used to bring you joy? Have you closed your curtains, locked the door, and crawled under the covers?
Have you felt alone, thinking no one else is dealing with the same issues you are or been questioning the decisions you need to make regarding your loved one?
Just as there is a solution for your child, there is a solution for you:
Support Groups
There are groups of people who understand our journey, our sorrows, and our fears. They understand that we all need help changing our thinking. There is absolutely no need to travel this road alone.
There is no need to stay isolated and alone with our fears. In fact, it is proven that when we reach out to others and share our experiences, we get stronger. When we are stronger, the addicts in our lives have a better chance of recovery.
You may be wondering, what exactly are support groups and why do I need to attend these meetings? It is my child who has a problem. Let’s dispel the notion that our CHILD is the only one with a problem.
When one person in the family is addicted to drugs and alcohol, we all get sick. And while we cannot control the choices our children make, we can control the choices we make. But how would we know what the choices are, what works, and what doesn’t work if we don’t participate in a forum where we can learn about what has worked for others?
Parent support groups
There are various parent support groups and meetings throughout the United States. There are even different kinds of meetings, not just 12 steps, all focused on empowering people who love an addict. It may require some research but they are out there.
Go online and type in parent support groups. You will be amazed at what is available in your area. Talk to the people you meet at meetings and ask them what else they do to work on their recovery. Not all meetings are all talk.
There are even Yoga/recovery groups. A little yoga, a little meditation, and a little recovery go a long way to heal the mind, body, and spirit.
Remember our recovery takes time; just as it does for our loved ones. It is a matter of progress, not perfection. There is no right or wrong, this is not a race.
Offer your experience and hope to that person who comes into the meeting looking at how you felt when you reluctantly went to YOUR first meeting. None of us should walk this path alone. Our lives can and should be filled with hope, courage, and fellowship.
As the Family Liaison at Turning Point, Lauren Springer, MSW offers support, caring guidance, and education to parents and families as they negotiate the pathway to their own recovery. She believes that parents having their own recovery program is not only essential to their own health and well-being but in turn aids in their sons’ recovery. Lauren believes that much of her strength comes from involvement in recovery programs as well as in helping other parents build a program of recovery to find peace and serenity in their own lives.
Substance Abuse/Addiction Prone Children are often that way in part because they have Endorphin Deficiencies which were caused by Family Traumas and/or which run in their Family’s Genes.
The stresses and traumas of having an Addict in the Family usually knock everyone’s Endorphins down further. Then everyone has less protection from Physical and Mental Pain, Infections, Autoimmune Disorders and Chronic Fatigue. It all becomes a vicious cycle.
Social withdrawal makes this worse. Supportive Social Interaction e.g. Groups help. So does natural healthy food, chilli and sometimes peppers, also chocolate, sunlight and vigorous muscular activity – strong exercise, laughter and orgasms – that’s what sexaholism is about.
But people often just can’t get started. LDN Low Dose Naltrexone is then a highly effective way to get started, often with almost immediate relief. In many cases Endorphins are more effective than heroin, morphine, antidepressants,mood stabilizers or antipsychotics. LDN is safe,simple, cheap and often worth a try. See the videos at http://www.MentalHealthBlog.org
I agree that family members are definitely affected by the substance use of their loved one. It affects their mental, emotional and physical health. The more that family members reach out and receive support for their situation, the better.
Terrific post, Lauren and Cathy! We’ll keep hoping and praying that more family members and loved ones realize just how much their lives are impacted by addiction and then get help.
Well done!
I agree Beth. Too many parents that I talk to have not reached out, in many cases, to anyone, so that is hard to hear. There is such a need out there for support. I appreciate you stopping by!
Great reminder Cathy and Lauren. We’re all in this together one way or another.
Thanks Elle. We are and the more we can support each other, the better. Thanks for stopping by!!
Thanks, Cathy and Lauren, for a relevant and important piece. So often we try to go it alone when we’re in deep – whether or not we even realize we’re isolating. And on we go until we figure out we don’t have the resources to cope, and hopefully we reach out for help. Support groups bring so much knowledge and companionship – it’s just irreplaceable. Appreciate your bringing the topic to the fore…
Bill
Hey Bill,
Support groups can be so helpful and a way to break out of the isolation. Connecting with others who have experienced a similar experience can be so empowering. Thanks for stopping by!
I hope this post can help people reach out and get some support when they need. I think they are a great resource also. They can make you feel less alone in your struggle. You can find out what has worked for others and what hasn’t. You can start to feel less ashamed hopefully.
Just be sure to find a good one. Don’t be discouraged and say support groups are worthless if you have only been to one and found it unappealing. : D
Good point Sebastian that it is important to check out a few groups before you decide if support groups are for you. I know there is the saying in Al-Anon to try six groups, because they can be different and it may take awhile to find the one that is right for you. I appreciate your thoughts.
THis is an important message, Lauren. Instead of being isolated and alone with embarrasment and pain, you point out that a support system can lead to healing and recovery for all involved. I like the line – it’s not a matter of progress, not perfection. LIke Ell points out, we are all indeed connected to each other. The quicker and stronger the parents are, the more they are able to stand as a resource to their children to help them recover. Thank you both for this post.
It is important for parents to be proactive as well as educated about drug and alcohol abuse. I appreciate you stopping by Vishnu.
Wonderful post Lauren and thanks for sharing it, Cathy. It’s so important loved ones find help and support for their own recoveries. I know I found it helped me immeasurably.
Thanks Lisa!
Support groups were the beginning of my own recovery from my son’s substance use disorder. They were a lifesaver!
I’m glad they helped you, Kathy!
Hi, thanks,I totally agree, as we all know, “No man is an island”, having a support group will definitely help us go through whatever circumstances we encounter in life, and with this, we learn a lot, we develop confidence in ourselves, courage to face the uncertainties of life. Thanks for sharing. Great post!