Have you heard of Chris Herren?
Are you interested in learning more about prevention?
I’m a big fan of people sharing their recovery stories.
It spreads hope and lets people know that they are not alone.
Last night I attended an inspiring presentation by Chris Herren.
If you have not heard of Chris, he was a high school basketball legend from Fall River, Massachusetts, who dreamed of playing for the Boston Celtics. During college, he became an All-American who broke scoring records, was recruited by the top colleges, was featured in Sports Illustrated, and became the focus of an acclaimed book, Fall River Dreams.
Chris realized his lifelong dream of playing in the NBA when he was drafted by the Denver Nuggets in 1999 and traded to the Boston Celtics after his rookie season, but he lost it all due to his drug use.
Chris has used his experience and recovery since August 1, 2008, to refocus his life, putting his sobriety and family above all else. He is the author of Basketball Junkie and the subject of the documentary Unguarded.
Chris shared his story of reaching the top when he was recruited to play for the Boston Celtics and then plunging to the bottom when he lost it all due to his continued drug use. He speaks across the country, hoping that his story will make a difference in at least one person’s life.
It is empowering to hear these kinds of talks, which remind us that it is not only about how far down we can go. It is really about how far up we can come and what we can do to help others.
There are many things we can do to help. Here are three key ones we can do which may prevent kids from spiraling downward.
1. Ask Why
One parent asked what we can do as parents to help prevent our kids from going down the road of substance use. Chris answered that if one of his kids decided to drink or experiment with drugs, his first question would be, “Why?”
Chris’s answer feels like the perfect place to start addressing a teen’s desire to experiment. Taking the time to understand why our kids feel the need to use drugs or alcohol as teens or young adults is something that is too often overlooked.
As parents, our first instinct may be to run from whatever discomfort, pain, and difficulty we face with our kids because we don’t have the answers, and it feels overwhelming. When we are ready to face drug or alcohol use, we are eager to fix the problem so that we can get back to our comfort zone and get on with life. We might feel some temporary relief if we run from the embarrassing and shameful problem of our child abusing drugs, but too many of us know the high cost of ignoring our kid’s use.
Understanding the why is the first step. Talking about who they use with, what they like about using, when they use, and what they think about when they are using, gives critical data to understand what is behind their desire to experiment as teens or become dependent as young adults. When we answer why they use drugs, we can then give them the kind of help they need to move toward a healthier place.
2. An Ounce of Prevention…
Chris mentioned the idea of having wellness classes starting at a young age. Large amounts of money are put into music and art programs, which are important to develop well-rounded kids, but finding time to thoroughly address wellness and help our kids feel good about who they are as people is critical, especially now when drug addiction has become so rampant.
Being a former educator, I’ve seen education money spent well and money wasted. It would be powerful to find a way to address the emotional needs of our kids at an early age so that there is a better chance they will have the inner strength to get through their teen years without finding themselves in a situation where they lose their greatest dreams as they spiral downward.
We can talk to our local educators about including a student wellness program. We can urge our high schools to include presentations like Chris Herren’s to be part of the curriculum. We can also look inward and remind ourselves that the problem also needs to be addressed at home. Parents need to be made aware of the issue and be willing to have those much-needed conversations with their kids and be the role model for healthy living. Wellness needs to be addressed first at home and then at school.
3. Lose the Stigma
I wish I could say it was a packed house last night, but there were too many empty seats. Chris commented a couple of times about how sad it was that the seats were not full of teenagers from high school. The stigma continues, and unfortunately, too many of us live in communities where people don’t want to talk about substance use or take the time to have their kids listen to this kind of discussion. If we were having a national epidemic and losing 100 teens a day from cancer, the house would have been packed.
Parents continue to be passive about this issue, as they tell themselves, “not my kid.” We need to find a way to bring this discussion out into the open, to have people realize the urgency of these kinds of talks. We need to expose teens to information before they are faced with the choice to experiment. Too many of us know all too well what the consequences will be if we turn our backs on the discomfort, pain, and difficulty we face when our kids decide to use drugs.
Chris Herren may have lost his NBA dream, and I imagine that will be a lifelong regret. However, there is always a silver lining with any story. While it would have been amazing for him to continue his career with the Celtics, his role as a speaker, author, and motivator for young people is more valuable at this critical time than any Celtic game.
I highly recommend Chris Herren’s presentation. To learn more about Chris and his mission, go to The Herren Project.
What presentations do you recommend for communities? What more can we do to help our kids stay healthy?
Sharing helps spread the word about prevention and recovery. Thank you for your support. I really do appreciate it.
If you are a parent who is struggling with your teen or young adult’s substance use issues, sign up for your free consultation. It will allow you to talk to someone who will listen and help you take steps towards change.
I think the points you draw out of the speech are very pertinent, particularly about checking in with the pain a child might feel, and the reasons they might turn to substance abuse to check out of reality. I also think removing the stigma is critical so people will be prepared to talk about it.
Asking Why is essential and will will give parents information so that they better know what steps to take going forward. The stigma does hold people back and with losing so many, we do need to bring substance out into the open.
What an inspiration and so sad that it wasn’t to a packed house. you provide so much enlightenment for parents and teens. xxoo
Thanks Suzie. I’ve heard from a number of parents that many of Chris’ presentations have been to full audiences, so lesson learned on timing and reaching out to the community. I’m sure I could have done more myself to help the organizers, but those that were there enjoyed it.
Thank you for an informative and inspiring post. I like the idea of wellness classes at a young age. We definitely need to be teaching mental health skills right alongside reading and writing. They are as important!
I so agree, Debbie. Wellness in the younger grades would be awesome. The kids are in great need for a variety of reasons.
I absolutely agree Cathy. People’s stories are inspiring and encouraging, even for those not facing the same challenges. And I love the idea of wellness classes being added to curriculums. Something that’s much needed in this day and age.
I do agree that the wellness class is a great idea for anyone. Kids have so much pressure from all angles that having a strong, healthy outlook could be helpful.
I enjoyed this conversation and agree with much of what is being discussed. I am also an educator. I do want to share that I did ask my then, 13 year old daughter why she smoked pot. She said, “I wanted to feel better.” Most of her friends involved spoke to wanting to see how it felt which means they were experimenting. My daughter was self medicating. We had many talks after that, therapy, etc., and I would love to say her story didn’t include addiction, but it did. Not right then, and not that drug, but it happened. Knowing we are in pain and wanting it to end, trying to gather ourselves through therapy or knowing something isn’t good for us, doesn’t always help us turn toward the light. She is now 27, lives in a sober living community and has over 6 months clean and sober. I am grateful beyond measure. However, what I know from living through this, is there are myriad answers to our questions. How do we educate kids enough and give them tools and the resilience to help them avoid addiction?
Hi Debbie, Thanks for sharing your story and so wonderful that your daughter is now in sober living. You are asking some great questions. First off, I agree that there are a multitude of reasons why a young person may want to experiment, and even by asking why and doing the followup doesn’t guarantee that they will be not become dependent.
Starting early always helps and having continued conversations. As parents, we try and do the best we can, and unfortunately the result aren’t always what we hope for. Know that diverse families struggle with their child’s substance, so you are not alone. However, asking why and taking the time to really understand what your child is going through is helpful. More education in the schools at an early age as well as educating parents would be beneficial as well. There are of course, no easy answers, and that is why addiction can be so frustrating for parents to cope with.
Wellness classes are such a unique idea and so needed for our youth. There is so much we could be teaching children early on so they aren’t driven into habits that create pain and suffering for themselves.
I so agree, Sandra. I also feel that wellness classes would be a great benefit staring early.
These are such excellent points, Cathy, and thank you for sharing these highlights of Chris’s talk. I especially liked his point of asking them, “Why?” and including wellness classes as part of our curriculum starting in elementary school.
I do as well, Lisa. I think both of those ideas are one that families and communities can follow up on.