Hidden Secrets of Women and Drinking

Are you concerned about a family member’s drinking?

In every town in America, homemakers are raising their kids and doing outside work from home.

Some find that isolation can be the perfect recipe for developing the habit of drinking alone, which can lead to problem drinking.

Many of these moms often don’t get the help they need because of the stigma and shame of addiction.

Here are two authors who share their journeys from isolated drinking to sobriety.

Then, when my psychiatrist suggested I might dry out at the hospital, I was terrified to learn how sick I was.

These are the words of Joyce Rebeta-Burditt, author of the 1977 novel, The Cracker Factory. Cassie Barrett, the main character’s life was similar to Joyce’s own life.

The Cracker Factory

Joyce started as a social drinker. She could not stand the smell of alcohol when she was pregnant with her children. Yet, she then started getting into drinking when she was 22 after her third, and her last child was born.

Joyce had rules about her drinking. She only drank after 5:00 pm, and she would not drink at parties.  As the alcohol began to take over her life, She withdrew from her friends. Joyce needed to buy it, hide it, drink it, and then get rid of the bottles. It became a full-time job.

She knew she had a problem. She kept having blackouts and commented later at an AA meeting that she couldn’t remember 1967.

Finding Peace after Drinking

Her psychiatrist suggested to her surprise and alarm that she dry out at the hospital. She stayed for three months and realized she didn’t mind being in a locked ward. She could find peace behind the doors. When her therapist suggested AA, she thought he had given up on her, but she went to the hospital front desk and made the call.

In Joyce’s words, “Thank God for AA! The night after I arrived, I walked into the hall in Burbank and felt at home again. They said, “Pull up a chair, sit down.” I could relax, unwind, unload. It was my centering for the first year or so.”

According to Phyllis Klein, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, women develop organ damage faster, and at lower levels of alcohol consumption than men. A woman’s body generally has less water than a man’s, causing their blood alcohol content to reach a higher level, faster. Since women and drinking can lead a person to be more vulnerable to the physical consequences of alcoholism, it is crucial to catch a problem early.

While the Dietary Guidelines define moderate drinking as no more than one drink a day for women and no more than two drinks a day for men, some women have the risk factors for addiction. As a result, alcohol use can become a problem.

“I woke up every day with a hangover.”

Brenda Wihelmson is the author of Diary of an Alcoholic Housewife: One mother’s fight to get sober.

Diary of an Alcoholic Housewife

Joyce and Brenda have several things in common. They are both writers and stay at home moms. On the surface, they seemed to have is altogether as typical suburban moms.

Brenda, a married mother of two, is a freelance writer and was very social with a tight circle of girlfriends. From the outside, one would think that all was well with Brenda. However, alcohol was slowly taking over her life.

As a freelance writer, she would juggle her day by taking care of her child, her house, and write newspaper stories. However, being home alone each day, isolation crept in. Her friends were not yet moms. Their lives were going on as before.

At 5:00 pm, Brenda would grab her martini shaker and polish off a couple of stiff ones. She would share a bottle of wine with her husband at dinner. Then as she cleaned up the dishes, she would open up another bottle of wine.

After sitting down on the couch, Brenda would still be there at 3:00 am, waking up to infomercials. For eight years, she would begin each morning with a hangover and tell herself she wasn’t going to drink that day. Brenda decided to have a second child because she knew she would stop drinking while pregnant.

Making the Decision to Get Sober

Brenda lets people know that you don’t have to lose everything in your life before you admit to being an alcoholic. She realized she had a problem. While Brenda tried to control it, she couldn’t do it. Finally, she made the decision to get sober.

She kept a diary of her first year in recovery, which evolved into a blog. It then became her book, “Diary of an Alcoholic Housewife.”

“One of the many nights I left a recovery meeting wondering if I really belonged there, I drove to a bookstore and pulled every drinking-related memoir I could find off the shelves. I didn’t want to read a depraved story about how low a person could go. I wanted verification that someone like me was a drunk and needed to stop drinking. I left the store empty-handed and bummed. As I lay in bed that night, the thought, “Write that book,” flew into my head.”

According to the Today Show, more than 5.2 million women, like Brenda and Joyce, are dependent on or abuse alcohol. When you are having trouble, and feel your life is getting out of control due to drinking, remember it’s important to reach out for help. Many take pride in getting sober or changing their relationship with alcohol.

Here are two more books on the subject of women and drinking that you may find helpful:

Drinking: A Love Story, by Caroline Knapp

Mommy Doesn’t Drink Here Anymore: Getting Through the First Year of Sobriety, Rachael Brownell

Also, three support groups where support can be found are Women for Sobriety, SMART Recovery, and Alcoholics Anonymous.

What has been your experience with alcohol? Leave a comment below and share your thoughts.