We send our children off to college with anticipation, excitement and the best of intentions. Parents assume as our kids leave the nest that they are prepared for all aspects of college life.
We are shocked, mortified and saddened to discover that our college student is off the deep end and have an issued with drugs or alcohol. After all the careful college planning, the rug feels like it has been pulled out from under us.
Many times kids do take their substance abuse to the next level when they leave home and go off to college. They suddenly have the freedom to make their own choices without their parents monitoring their every move.
When teens are dabbling in drugs and alcohol in high school, their experimentation can turn into an addiction. They are among a large number of students and drugs and alcohol are easily accessible. Their use can escalate very quickly.
It may never have occurred to these students, much less their parents, that their habit was this out of control, but young people are the most vulnerable to addiction. Their brains are not fully developed in the areas of judgement control, emotion and impulse until about age 25.
It starts with your child admitting their drug or alcohol use, and making the decision to get treatment and find recovery. There are many options for continuing their college education, so do not give up hope.
Your child’s transcript may be dismal at best. It may feel like your hard earned dollars for your child’s college education has just gone down the drain. Although this is a major setback, there are programs out there to get your college student back on track, and inspire them to accomplish their goals.
One option is for your child to go back to college and live in a sober dorm. It is important to carefully consider with the help of a professional whether the student should go back to the same college or transfer to a new campus. Many times those triggers, such as old drinking and drugging buddies, will be waiting for them at their original campus. Moving to a new school, allows the student to have a fresh start in a new environment.
According to NY Times article, “A Bridge to Recovery on Campus,” Rutgers was mentioned as one campus that is providing recovery dorms tucked away on campus. Their program started in 1988 and it was the first of its kind. Lisa Laitman, Director of its Alcohol and Other Drug Assistance Program helped create the program after she saw that students were struggling to abstain, and that newly recovered students were put under pressure with dorm related parties.
Rutgers appears to be the first, but the numbers are growing with over 20 programs and more to come. Texas Tech University has used $900,000 in federal grants to help campuses build programs.
At Rutgers, the students attend an NA or AA meeting at least twice a week, a group meeting with an addiction therapist during their first year of recovery and a monthly house meeting.
They have fun as well by studying together, making runs to Starbucks and competing in intramural soccer and softball leagues. Having fun in recovery helps to ensure their long term sobriety, and sets the stage for lasting change in their life.
At University of Michigan, students can choose a recovery room from the residential drop down menu to live with a roommate who has a similar interest. A recovery room is not just substance free, it is for students who are actively pursuing staying sober.
More colleges have since joined the Association of Recovery Schools giving students the opportunity to continue their education, and become the person they were meant to be.
For more information about the Association of Recovery Schools click here. You will find links to other colleges, that support a student’s recovery.
Some treatment centers have programs to help students, who have lost their self-confidence and still feel the shame of their addiction, find their way back so that they are able to pursue their education.
As one Rutger’s student said, “It must suck to be our parents.” Most of us who have experienced having an addicted child agree that it isn’t easy. Finding the right program for your college student may make all the difference.
If you find yourself in a situation where your college student becomes addicted, stay calm and don’t panic. There will definitely be challenges for every family member, but there is hope and your child can get their life back just like mine did.
What do you think about recovery support for college students? Do you know about any other colleges that offer this type of service. Let us know in comments.
If you liked this post, please share on Facebook, Twitter and Google+. Thank you!
I agree it’s fantastic that some colleges are providing sober living and active recovery programs on campus. As you said, the brain often takes until age 25 to fully develop and having the support to stay sober AND enjoy life as it is going through these significant development stages can be especially important. This is a great post and the hope and inspiration can help so many other young people (and their parents), as well. Thanks for sharing, Cathy!
Hi Lisa,
I was pleasantly surprised to read about these new programs and my hope is that they spread to more colleges and universities. Students in recovery need all the support they can get. This epidemic of addiction is a problem of our society, one that we have all helped to create and one that we all need to help solve.
So heart-breaking when addiction happens. I secretly pray that my son, who is now 14 and in high school will not go through it. Children are exposed to so many things these days – on one hand, the awareness is much higher, but on the other hand, the curiosity to try everything also grows. It is so hard to have regrets and feel ashamed. Big hugs to you. What a wonderful post that gives hope!
Hi Vidya,
Talking to our kids is the one piece of advice I would share with parents of teens. Talking specifically about drug use, and talking often. Communication helps your child to know where you stand, but also that you understand the pressures they are under. Kids can be strong and live a healthy lifestyle. We just need to show them the way. There are no guarantees, but parents can make a difference.
Hi Cathy,
I had no idea this was available. When I worked in private practice I was shocked how many young women told me they were raped in a fraternity at a party after drinking. The tendency is to blame the young women, however no matter how much a woman drinks “rape” is not their fault. I don’t think many parents are aware of the issue…unless that’s changed too with education. Then at least they can educate their daughters about what goes on so they become more aware. I’m not for young women drinking at these parties at all and I hate fraternities and sororities. Blah blah you get my point;)
After reading article after article about the failed war on drugs in this country, this concept is a breath of fresh air. While drug rehab is part of the solution, we do our young people no favors when we release them from treatment programs without providing the supportive environment they need to succeed. My hat is off to these colleges and universities that have embraced our children who struggle with chemical addiction. Unlike the high schools from which these young people came, these institutions of higher learning are recognizing the epidemic of drug abuse by this generation and presenting a solution which offers the best chance at success.
Hi Lisa,
It clearly is an epidemic and it is important to realize that this disease crosses all socio-economic boundaries. College and universities are where many young people find themselves addicted and out of control. It is reassuring to know that these institutions are taking some responsibility for the problem, and reaching out to help those that are in recovery. Everyone deserves a second chance and the opportunity to become who they were meant to be.
Hi Tess,
Drinking excessively can create many problems such as rape, DUI’s, even fatal accidents and overdoses. Young people don’t always think through the consequences of their behavior and thus put themselves in a precarious situation. More education and awareness is always needed, not only at the high school level, but at the college level as well. Students need to understand the risks that they are taking when they allow themselves get into a situation where they are out of control.
Hi Cathy,
A friend of mine started a non-profit, Minding Your Mind, that addresses mental illness and addiction for kids in college. You know the situation much better than I. But it is hard to believe how the system ‘lets the kids’ down..
BUT your piece is informative and chock full of lots of good information. It offers ‘realistic’ optimism…if that makes sense.
I think the work you’re doing…the love and hope you are sending out to the world…is extraordinary. xxoo-Fran
Hi Fran,
Thanks so much for your thoughtful words. The system does let the students down. Drinking and drugs is not discussed openly as much as it could be. Classes should be ongoing in middle and high schools to educate the students on the dangers of drug use. It is wonderful that these colleges are stepping up and addressing the problem. Hopefully it will spread. How wonderful that your friend started Minding Your Mind. That is a new one for me, so I will definitely look into it. Thanks for sharing, Fran.
I think it’s great the United States has such schemes. I don’t know if universities in the United Kingdom have such things…
Anyhow, with regards to addiction, when I was a kid I used to hang out with this slightly older kid from my extended family. He has a like a cousin of my cousin. He was a really cool guy I thought, when I was younger and I used to look up to him.
Anyhow, he got in with the wrong crowd, and becoming a crack addict. He left his family and ended up on a council estate alone addicted to drugs. It was so sad.
Hi Hiten,
I believe these programs are fairly new at the US colleges and universities. It is reassuring that they are supporting those students who are in recovery. College can be a place where students can be put under such pressure to drink and do drugs. Granted, people need to be strong and make healthy choices, but it is nice to know you will be given a second chance. I’m sorry to hear about your friend.
This is wonderful news, Cathy. It is so great to hear that the colleges are doing something constructive about addiction. Thanks for sharing.
It is good to hear, Marianne. I’m glad as well that they are being supportive. Thanks for stopping by!
My son was a sophomore in high school when he became addicted to pain medication and xanax. He is in recovery and hopefully will be 24 months sober when he heads off to college. I am very thankful for universities offering options in housing, on campus meetings and support. It is hard enough to let them leave the nest. When combined with ADD, processing issues and addiction it becomes frightening.
Hi Mary,
Wonderful that your son is in recovery. The colleges are providing a much needed resource with the sober housing and group support. All the best to him.