Please introduce yourself to the readers who don’t know you.
I have over 35 years of experience in the field of addiction treatment and related issues, counseling individuals, couples, and families via telephone and office. I am the author of Grace Lost and Found: From Addictions and Compulsions to Satisfaction and Serenity. I am a national speaker and also taught at universities for 29 years. I have a Master’s degree in psychology and am a registered addiction specialist. You can visit my website at www.marycookma.com for further information.
What inspired you to write the book “Grace, Lost and Found?”
I have always been very curious about the nature of life on earth, humanity, and God. As a child, I created stories and dialog in my mind. Later I wrote and published poems, stories, essays, and articles and contributed to others’ books. In my adult career as a Professor and speaker, people urged me to write a book. Grace Lost and Found is likely the first of many books.
What do you hope people gain from reading your book?
I want people to get excited about the unlimited possibilities for them and their life. I want them to experience how identifying, working through, and transforming negative habits allows them to see their true nature. This work takes us out of autopilot and gives us a deeper, holistic view of who we are and our spiritual destiny.
What are the three most important things you’ve learned about addiction and/or compulsions at this stage?
The quality, clarity, and depth of engagement with people are critical in order to assist them in treatment. Those struggling with addiction typically have a wounded child within them and a defensive system that includes mind-altering substances to numb and distracts them from pain and produces a temporary artificial euphoria. It’s important to suspend judgment while listening to and observing clients so that we can understand the nature of their problems and solutions.
We can help clients to identify defenses, false beliefs, and adaptations to trauma and other stress, which created a false self and vulnerability to addictions. A compassionate climate for conscious awareness and discussion of hidden wounds can be created, so people can learn to relinquish the negative energies and internalize healthy ideas, feelings, communication, and actions, allowing them to heal.
We can assist clients in identifying something that demonstrates pure, wholesome, unselfish love, given or received, and build on this to foster re-connection to a conscious, active relationship with a healthy, loving Higher Power. Addiction constricts life and our sense of self. It disconnects us from the higher truth and authentic bonding with self, others, God, and life.
Reuniting with spiritual love ignites the true self and creates an expansion for all that God created us and our lives to be.
Additionally, this is work that all of us can do, as we all have a tendency to attach ourselves and over-empower unhealthy habits of thought, feelings, and behaviors. This then restricts us from our full human and spiritual potential.
What advice do you have for parents who are just coming to terms with the diagnosis or suspicion of their son or daughter’s substance use?
Be a positive example of what you hope for your loved ones. Seek education, support, personal examination, and growth for yourself, and strengthen your spiritual practices. Identify the assets and liabilities of your kids.
Spend some positive, quality time with them and listen to understand them better. Provide positive bonding and enriching opportunities, and set reasonable boundaries, supervision, and firm consequences for them. Learn about and make use of accurate drug testing methods. Research treatment options and make this a part of the consequences for addictive behavior.
If addictions or compulsions run in the family, educate yourself and them about this.
What do you enjoy doing in your free time?
Spending time in nature, interacting with family, friends, and animals, practicing Sundo yoga, and photography.
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