This is a guest post by Elizabeth Garrison who tells the story of her drug addiction.
I have a Doctorate in clinical psychology which means I’ve spent thousands of hours conducting therapy with children and their families.
Many of them were in treatment centers for kids struggling with chemical dependency issues. In nearly all of the cases that involved child-abusing drugs and/or alcohol, I was presented with the parents’ agonizing frustration over not being able to understand why their child was doing what they were doing.
It’s utterly baffling to watch a child destroy themselves with chemicals when all they have to do to end the destruction is stop using chemicals. Their behavior seems incomprehensible to the people closest to them.
I can’t count the number of times I heard a parent express, “I just wish I knew what was going on inside their head.” Well, I think I can finally allow them to do just that.
I invite you behind the closed doors of a picture-perfect Christian family to reveal a dark, hidden world of child abuse, domestic violence, and chilling family secrets all performed in the name of God under the tyrannical rule of my father.
Drug Addiction
Like so many other teenagers, I turned to drugs to escape the dark realities and real-life horrors of teenage drug abuse, living on the streets, foster homes, and treatment centers. I scratched and clawed my way out and found the strength within myself to save my life.
I believe in the power of truth-telling and science supports this assertion. Much of my research has focused on using writing as a way of healing and there’s no doubt within the world of psychology that writing is a helpful tool for recovery.
It was my intent to help other teenage girls by telling my story so that they might identify with someone who had shared a similar experience. I wanted them to find comfort by realizing that they weren’t alone in their struggles.
Most importantly, I wanted to show them that their life wasn’t over simply because they might have wasted away their adolescence.
By the time I was 18 years old, I was looking at doing prison time, I’d never gotten past eighth grade, doctors had labeled me with all sorts of illnesses that said I could never learn, and society had washed their hands of me.
Recovery
But, I overcame and today I have a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and work at the largest trauma research center in the nation. I want other teenage girls to know that no matter what kind of a beginning they’ve had, they can have an amazing finish.
There is no greater heartbreak than being the parent of a child who is struggling with chemical dependency issues. Watching your child hurt themselves again and again without having any idea why or how to fix it is devastating.
My son recently turned six and I am terrified of having him follow in my footsteps.
To the outside world, I was an angry, defiant, willful, teenage girl intent on destroying herself and unwilling to let other people help her. Yet, on the inside, I was a scared, sad, lonely, and confused teenage girl who just wanted someone to love me and help me.
Chances are your son or daughter is living a contradictory existence as well. The person you are seeing on the outside is most likely not what they are experiencing on the inside even if they might not be aware of it.
They are probably just as frightened over the powerlessness in their life as you are even though they won’t admit it.
And one of the things I can promise you is that no matter how hardened they might appear to you and how much they might push you away, they want you to love them. They don’t understand their own actions any more than you understand their actions.
I recently released my memoir, Wounds of the Father: A True Story of Child Abuse, Betrayal, and Redemption, which tells the story of my fractured childhood, the descent into teenage drug addiction, and struggle to overcome nearly insurmountable odds.
At first glance, my book appears as if it is targeted towards the addicted person. This is true to a certain extent.
I wrote my book to heal myself and to help others heal themselves. I also wrote my book for another group–you–the parents of a child who is struggling with chemical dependency issues.
It is my sincere desire that by reading my story, you will be able to understand what your son or daughter is going through a little better.
It might offer you insight into the brain of an addict in a way that will help you to better understand your own child.
Lastly, it might offer you some hope–hope that your child doesn’t have to become a statistic and that your child can make it through even though things might not look promising right now.
Your child doesn’t have to die and anyone can turn their life around.
I’ve seen it in my own life and I’ve seen it in countless others who were at one time just like me.
Elizabeth Garrison has a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and works as a researcher for the National Center for Child Traumatic Stress. Her research focuses on the effects of childhood abuse and developing interventions to help children recover. She also is a well-known celebrity ghost-writer. Given her talent for helping others to tell their stories, Garrison decided it was time to tell her own story, titled Wounds of the Father: A True Story of Child Abuse, Betrayal, and Redemption.
Visit her at www.elizabethgarrison.info.
What do you think? How can we prevent young women from going down the road of substance use? What can we do to encourage their recovery? Please leave your comments and questions below.
Thank you for reading!
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Wow – what an incredible story of courage, strength and hope. Thank you so much for sharing your story, Elizabeth – I look forward to reading your book.
Thanks Lisa, for stopping by! It is always so great when people share their story!
Encouraging story, Elizabeth and Cathy – thank you. Happens to the best of us, huh…
Bill
Thanks Bill for stopping by. It is always helpful when others share their stories.
Thank you Elizabeth and Cathy – A story of hope that a lot of parents need to read. I have met over the years so many Christian parents who are embarrassed and ashamed to reach out for help and support and so their family suffers because of it. If they could only see that by getting the help immediately, they could be saving themselves years of pain, hurt, devastation as well as for the teen involved.
By sharing this, you have given a open door for them to rethink their decisions and to put their child first before their own selfish needs. I can say that with all honesty because I was a mom who saw my daughter go through so much pain (cutting, depression, suicidal attempts, porn addiction, body issues, etc…) and I thought in my head that I could be her counselor because I was too ashamed of what others would think of me.
Praise God I no longer view it that way, got help for my daughter who encouraged me to write my own blog for other parents like me so that they as well as their teens would not go through what I family went through. And today, God has healed our family. Thank you for your willingness to share your story so that others could be encouraged as well. Blessings!
Hi Stacy,
Welcome! Thanks for your great reminder about how important it is to reach out for help. The stigma and shame can get people stuck, but you are so right parents save themselves much grief if they can start on a healthier path with their child as soon as possible. Take care!
My 31 year old daughter got out of jail today at 5 am. I got a call from Victim Rights at 4:30 am. I have been waiting for the call, and was awake before it rang. I need help dealing with my daughter. I am full of panic that she is out of jail. It’s been a horrific last 10 months. My daughter told me she would go to treatment, get counseling, and stop self medicating. The day before she got out she told me she would have to have a dirty UA to get into a treatment facility. I was sick when she told me that. To me it means more agony, stealing, screaming, and I can’t do this anymore. She had said she had a ride from a friend, and then called to see if I would give her a ride. It was a 75 mile drive, and I told her I wouldn’t pick her up. She called 3 times. I’m sick that I should have picked her up? Maybe I could have talked to her, and she would have went to treatment? Everyone keeps telling me I can’t help her at all. She has to hit bottom! I need help please. She has 2 children. My 11 year only grandson, and my 6 year old autistic granddaughter. I saw my granddaughter today. She wanted to come into my house and play. She use to come here all the time. My older daughter and her husband are taking care of her for the last 10 months. I called CSD on my daughter. She hates me. I also did Elder abuse, and now she can’t get a job as a caregiver. I knew I shouldn’t have done the elder abuse. I feel sick every day.
Hi Valerie,
I’m so sorry to hear about your daughter and that you are going through this. It is always challenging to make the right choices with each situation. I would not beat yourself up about things from the past, rather think about what you can do going forward. There are things that you can do a parent to help your daughter. You can tell her how sorry you are about making the calls, if you feel that would be helpful. It is good to take some of the responsibility for the situation, of course, however her drug use is not your fault. If there is any way I can be of help, don’t hesitate to reach out. Hugs!