This is a guest post by Stan Popovich.
Many people who struggle with alcohol or drugs have a hard time getting better. There are many reasons why these people do not get the help they need to get better. Many family members who see their loved ones struggle have a very difficult time in getting their loved ones assistance. Here are six suggestions on how to convince a person struggling with alcohol or drugs to get the help they need to get better.
1. Family Intervention
The most popular way to get someone the help they need is to do a family intervention. This is when family members and an interventionist get together with the addict to tell them how they love them and wish that they get help to get better. Each family member takes a turn and tells the person how special they are and that they need to get help. The person who is struggling listens and hopefully they become convinced to get the help they need.
2. Talk To The Person On What Will Happen If They Do Not Get Help
Another way to convince the person who is struggling with alcohol or drugs is to get someone who is an expert on addiction and have them do a one on one talk with this person. This expert on addiction should explain to the addict what will happen if they do not get the help they need to get better. Basically, the expert should warn the person of the dire consequences of what will happen if they do not change their ways. The expert should be vivid as possible and hold nothing back. The goal is to convince the addict to get help or they will suffer a fate worse than death as their life will slowly come to an end.
3. Use The Services of A Professional Or A Former Addict
Try to find a professional or even a former addict who has “Been There” to talk to the addict. This is similar to Step Two, however this time instead of trying to scare the person, these professionals can use their skills to talk and try to reason with them. These experts are usually trained and can use a proactive approach into trying to convince the addict to get help. The goal is to try to reason with the person.
4. Find Out The Reasons Why The Person Won’t Get Help
Many people overlook this suggestion. Ask the person who is struggling with alcohol or drugs to list 3 reasons why they will not get help. At first, they will say all kinds of things, but continue to engage the person and get the 3 main reasons why they refuse to get help. It might take a couple of tries but listen to what they say. Once you get the answers, WRITE them down on a piece of paper. Note: Fear and Frustration are huge factors for the person not getting help.
5. Determine The Solutions To Those Barriers
Once you get those 3 reasons, then get a professional or an expert to find the solutions to those issues. For example, the addict says that they won’t get help because they tried a few times and they failed and that they will fail again. Ask a few addiction professionals to find a solution to this issue that will help the addict overcome this barrier.
One good answer to this example is the following: “Yes, you tried to get better and failed however this time we will do things differently. We will keep a daily diary of everything you do and you or someone else will document what you do each day. If you stumble or fail you will write down your feelings at the time and why you failed.
When you recover from a bad episode you can READ your diary and find out what went wrong. Once you know what went wrong you will know why you failed and will find a way to prevent this from happening again.”
Use your list from step three and list every positive thing that will counter those barriers. When your finished, present this to the person who is struggling and explain what you came up with. This will help reduce the person’s fears and anxieties and may convince them to get help. Developing a plan to counter their reasons of not getting help will go a long way.
6. Talk to the Person Instead of Talking At Them
Nobody wants to be lectured. Be honest with them and tell them that it will require some hard work on their part but that they can get better. If they don’t get help, they will suffer. Someone who is struggling is scared and they need help in overcoming their fears and resistance to getting help.
Remember to find out those fears, address possible solutions to those fears, and you will have a better chance of getting through. Hopefully, sooner or later, you will be able to get through to the person. The key is to be persistent. Be very persistent. Also, it would help a lot to have everybody pray for that person. Involving your Higher Power with your current situation can sometimes produce unexpected results.
Stan Popovich is the author of “A Layman’s Guide to Managing Fear Using Psychology, Christianity and Non Resistant Methods” – an easy to read book that presents a general overview of techniques that are effective in managing persistent fears and anxieties. For additional information go to: http://www.managingfear.com/ .
What suggestions do you have to convince an addict to get help? If you liked this post, please share on Facebook, Twitter and Google+. Thank you!
Thank you Stan! These are excellent suggestions. In our work, we’ve found that numbers 2 and 6 can be especially helpful. Thanks for sharing this, Cathy!
Very helpful advice, Cathy! I hope I never need it, but I like the suggestions that get at understanding the addict instead of using the confrontation methods. Help others by understanding them. I’m thinking though that there isn’t one best solution that different methods work with different people.
Cathy, you’re doing great work here. Thank you for sharing this wisdom with the world!
Hi Carolyn,
Every situation and family is different and what works for one, may not work for another. Even though someone may be addicted, they still deserve they respect of being a human being with a disease. Understanding the science behind addiction gives us the compassion and care that will enable us to reach out and hopefully make a difference in someone’s life.
Hi Cathy,
Excellent tips here. I like your second point, when we outline the things that will happen if the person doesn’t take action to stop his addiction, he will become aware of what could potentially happen. As we all know awareness is crucial if we really want to change one aspect of our life. Thank you for mentioning these tips Cathy 🙂
Hi Cathy,
I quit drinking alcohol 6 years ago and it has really changed my perspective about people who drink. A lot of people I notice think that they don’t have a problem with alcohol, yet I can’t think of one family event that I went to where they weren’t drinking alcohol.
I am so glad I don’t drink anymore. 🙂
Great article! Number 4 is a novel thought and one that I tend to overlook. I always seem to think I know what’s best for the other person and never think about asking for their thoughts. Great advice that applies to just about anything.
Hi Marianne,
I do that as well. I think family members have the best intentions, but it is easy to want to fix the problem for another person which doesn’t work so well. So much of addiction “advice” applies to everyday situations. So often the addicted person just needs to be ready. It is hard to watch someone self destruct, but we can’t do something for someone else that they are not willing to do for themselves. Take care!
I would have to agree to number 6. It helps to find out why a person would want to quit and help them from that point. The “you need to do what I tell you” talks never helped me one bit. Learn to work with someone and not against them. They know their wrong but just like a trapped animal if you corner it they are going to get mad about it.
I agree Artisan that positive communication is much more productive that confrontation and control techniques. The more you can gently guide your loved one to making better choices, the better. Thanks for stopping by.
Hi Cathy – I like these – and I also think that setting clear, appropriate and healthy boundaries with the addict is important too. That could be another heading in this article…