Do you feel that you are constantly struggling to be at peace?
Would having some ideas help you get your life more in balance?
If we are peaceful, if we are happy, we can smile, and everyone in our family, our entire society, will benefit from our peace. ~ Thich Nhat Hanh
It is possible to feel at peace even when there are challenges in your life.
Peace is a stillness from within. It is a challenge, but it is available to anyone.
If your child is in the midst of their addiction, you may be having many sleepless nights. For instance, I worried about my child’s safety 24/7 and felt consumed with sadness.
A peaceful life is possible no matter what your situation. It doesn’t mean that the challenge with substance use in your family will instantly disappear.
It is possible to find inner peace even though you are coping with your child’s addiction. You can feel the pain of what you are going through and still be a source of support for your child.
A few years back, I listened to an interview with a father whose daughter was dependent on drugs. He seemed so calm and together as he spoke. He talked about the work he had done to heal himself. It included group work, all the journals he had written, and his exercise regime, including yoga and aerobic exercise.
I assumed that this father’s child was in recovery, yet that was not the case. His child was sitting in a jail cell because of her drug use.
It is an example of a father feeling his daughter’s pain. Yet he seemed so in control of his emotions and reactions. He appeared to be at peace with what was going on, even though it saddened him greatly.
Indeed, finding inner peace is not easy when your child is suffering because of their addiction. You may be dealing with the ups and downs of your child’s behavior. Yet, doing the work as a parent can benefit everyone involved.
Here are some ways to find your inner peace.
Know that you are not alone.
Knowing that you are not the only one dealing with a child’s substance use or addiction can go a long way to healing your feelings of isolation. Reaching out to someone who has experienced drug or alcohol use with their children can give you that needed connection to help you not feel so alone. Isolation allows us to continue to suffer. Reaching out begins the healing process.
Embrace hope for the future.
There is hope for your child. You may not feel that you have all the answers, and your child may not meet your expectations on your timetable. Yet everyone benefits when you keep all possibilities alive for yourself and your child. By opening our minds to the idea that our child can change, we start to let in the light and break through our despair.
Find a Connection.
By finding a connection that will keep you feeling a little safer, your world begins to widen. You will find the courage to share what is in your heart. Help, support, and guidance may come from unexpected places. When you are open and willing to reach out, you realize that many will love and support you. They will be there for you when you need them. You will begin to bond with others in a non-judgmental, understanding, and compassionate way.
Take care of yourself.
Taking care of yourself can be the greatest gift you can give yourself. A little time and commitment can go a long way to moving you forward gently, healingly. Do not wait until your emotional health collapses before allowing your heart to listen to your inner voice. It may be nudging you to pay a bit of extra attention to yourself. Take small steps toward a more positive direction, and know that a healthier you can unfold.
Let go of the guilt
When you let go of the past, understand that you have made mistakes and will continue to make them, but you are now moving toward a healthier emotional place. Holding on to your guilt will not serve you well.
Accept the truth and ask for forgiveness when you face your mistakes, whether they affect you or others. You can then move on and leave your heavy bag of guilt behind. Guilt is a burden. Your life can become a challenge and a joy once again when you let go of your regrets.
Look for the positive.
Rick Hanson, author of Buddha’s Brain: The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love, and Wisdom, discusses how our brains are naturally drawn to avoid negative experiences.
If you are dealing with your children’s substance use, you don’t have to look very far to feel the negative experiences that are not pleasant.
Yet starting a habit of looking for the joyous moments in life for your own emotional and physical well-being can be refreshing. When you find them, savor those moments. Finding your way through the maze of negativity is crucial to finding your slice of peace.
For example:
- Did you notice the sunrise this morning?
- Look at the rosebud beginning to bloom!
- Cuddling with your dog or cat is a positive experience.
- Talking about a walk through nature can bring you back to yourself.
- Savor the stranger’s smile or the loving embrace of your partner.
Be with those joyous moments.
One way to help would be to jot down your feelings. You may begin to notice a shift in your well-being. And don’t forget to take a moment and breathe.
I know when I am emotional, writing helps me. It also allows me to understand the situation better. Once I know what I am feeling and why, I am more at peace. I can sit with it and let it pass rather than get sucked into the whirlwind of emotions.
What leads you to a place of peace?
Get the Free ebook: 10 Tips to Start the Change Process When Your Child Struggles With Substance Use.
