Overdose Awareness Day: How One Father is Turning the Corner

August 31st is International Overdose Awareness Day.

Ron Anthe generously agreed to share his story about his son Ryan’s drug addiction and eventual overdose.  

Please welcome Ron Anthe.

“We had no idea what was coming.”

I could write for days bragging about my oldest son RYAN DUKE ANTHE.

Like his Dad, he loved sports!

Shortly after moving to Austin, Texas with his mom and stepdad, he had decided to take time off from playing. He was 13.

We noticed changes in behavior and attitude. Ryan became distant and isolated. As parents, we thought it was a teenage thing. Ryan’s Mom and stepdad provided a wonderful home and are great parents. I had a good relationship with him and was sad when he moved.

The next few years consisted of arrests, theft, troubling behavior that was taking a toll on everyone.

At 16, Ryan attended a school that had a very good reputation for helping teens. He stayed for one year and we saw a big difference. We had our son back.

Two weeks after returning home, he returned to the same behavior and this time it was even worse.  He was on the streets, there were arrests, lying, and theft; it was out of control. The next few years divided both families and were destroying a young man’s life.

I failed to deal with it, and no one knew how much it was killing me. It appeared as if I didn’t care.

I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t understand the disease and I didn’t take the time to. I was mad and mean.

In 2011 Ryan overdosed and required emergency surgery. He was on life support. He survived and spent four months in the hospital.

The staff nicknamed him “The Miracle Kid”. He finally hit rock bottom and had our son back. He was blessed with a second chance at life.

The overdose caused severe damage to his kidneys, heart, and liver. He would need dialysis three times a week. The doctor told us he would have the body of an 80-year-old. The decision was made for Ryan to move in with his aunt Pam in Houston to get a new start. A few weeks later, Ryan made connections and again started using.

I was so mad and hurt. How could this happen? Why? Why can’t he stop this!? Mom and Dad are devastated, but all family members are impacted and everyone thinks they have the answer and want to give their input.  Our lives are in chaos. Only those of us that have been through this truly understand.

In 2014, Ryan was back in the hospital. My gut told me to go see him. I didn’t want to. As I approached his room, he was yelling at the nurses. My son didn’t yell like that. I took one look at him and I knew.

I don’t even have a word for what I felt. It’s over. I kissed him on the forehead, told him I loved him and to call me when he got well. That’s a decision I live with every day.

I returned to Dallas and asked family and friends to please not mention his name again. I said my boy will “TURN THE CORNER”, kick this thing, be a leader again. He will share his story and help others. Watch!

I hoped that. I didn’t believe it. My feelings were kept inside. Work was my therapy. Or so I thought!

August 14, 2015, Ryan passed away in his sleep. He was in a nursing home, using a wheelchair and still on dialysis. I didn’t even know. I had to live with my decision.

A month later, I had to bid on a project in Austin. In 20 years in the same business, I never went to Austin to bid on anything. Coincidence? I decided to go early and visit the nursing home.

KIND, BIG HEART, FUNNY, THOUGHTFUL, HELPFUL, RESPECTFUL were words residents used to describe my son. That was the boy I remembered. I was so proud of my boy. As I was leaving, I thanked everyone and asked the Director a question.

Was my son clean when he passed?

His reply: in their staff meeting that week, they discussed Ryan and felt like he had finally  “TURNED THE CORNER”. They were going to transport him in the van to speak with various groups to share his story to help others. They thought he would be great at it. I smiled! And cried.

Back to work I went, 24/7! At the same time, I was slowly falling apart. I didn’t see it.  But the fact was that I didn’t deal with my son’s passing.  All of those years while he was fighting this disease, I failed to support him.

I never got help and always tried to deal with it on my own. Consequently, depression, guilt, and regret were killing me. I became isolated and didn’t want to live. I gave up my business and lost my truck and home. Life didn’t matter. Finally, I was convinced to get help. Attending support groups with other parents like me saved my life.

I’m a different person now and a better person. While life will never be the same, the great thing is that it’s not about me, anymore. It’s about helping others by sharing Ryan’s story and my experience, mistakes I made and the knowledge I have gained over the years. It’s a wonderful feeling. I know what these parents feel and I can relate. I read, research and look at case studies every day.

I’m very proud and honored to continue what my son was starting. I speak and visit with various groups, schools, city programs, teen court, professional organizations, teams, etc. Recently, I was asked by a judge to work with the juvenile court system.

My talks mainly focus on understanding the addict and the disease, the importance of support groups, communicating and talking. And of course, the education I received over those 14 years. I didn’t sign up for it and would never have asked for it, but I can use my experience to help others fight this disease successfully and live a happy life!

My goal is to start a scholarship in Ryan’s name that will assist families financially to get the help/therapy they need. And to support sports camps for kids.

On May 23rd, Ron Anthe (pictured center), Lewisville resident and Fighting Farmer from the ’80s, spoke on the tragic loss of his son to drug abuse, and ultimately, an overdose. 

The story of Ron’s son, Ryan, reminds us that drugs can affect individuals from any social, economic, and family background. Ryan’s untimely death at 27 years of age, which was preceded by years of battling drug addiction has moved Ron to share their family’s story to warn others of the dangers of getting into drugs.

Ron hopes to someday start a foundation in Ryan’s name. Until then, he will continue to visit LISD schools sharing his story in the hope of helping others avoid the painful path of drug use. 

Photo by Karson on Unsplash