Would having a little peace in your life be helpful?
Are you looking for ways to find peace of mind because of the chaos of substance use?
As a parent of a child now in recovery, I remember the days when watching my child self-destruct was more than I could bear. Along with the stigma and shame came feelings of guilt and failure.
How could we be in a place where my child needed drugs to get through the day?
I needed to find ways to care for myself and lessen my stress.
As a parent of a struggling child, how could I come to a place of feeling more balanced and calm? I knew it would help me make better decisions and feel better, yet working through the constant worry felt daunting.
I decided to find new ways to help myself live more peacefully.
Accept the uncertainty of your situation.
When substance use is a family problem, there is always a level of uncertainty. You never know what the next day will bring. You may be feeling anxious, frustrated, or at times, overwhelmed. The choice for all of us is to let it overwhelm us or be proactive and do something to help ourselves.
Are you worried 24/7? It’s understandable that you are concerned about your child as you are dealing with a problem that feels out of control.
If you ignore your feelings and try to get on with your life without acknowledging what you are going through, it can make you feel more stressed.
Acceptance and checking in with your feelings, thoughts, reactions, and values will help you be more self-aware. According to The Beyond Addiction Workbook, “In essence, self-awareness will be the difference between being proactive and strategic versus simply reacting to whatever you face day to day.”
There are many aspects of substance use that you will have to deal with. Your child may lie to you, steal valuables to buy drugs or engage in a number of other harmful behaviors. If you can accept the situation and put time into how you want to react, you will have a better chance of staying calm and making helpful decisions rather than engaging in hurtful arguments.
It is not uncommon to want to bury or ignore pain, yet the more you accept what is happening in your life, the more you will be able to be at peace. You cannot eliminate your feelings of anxiety and worry, yet it will feel worse if you don’t put a few things into place to help you cope.
Do your best to remain calm when life feels chaotic. You will be the anchor and role model for your family.
Spend time in nature to find peace.
One of the things that I kept reading about was spending time in nature and how it can help you feel more balanced and lift your mood. I’ve always liked being outdoors, and I live in a climate where it is easy to do that most of the year.
According to a study from the University of Michigan, group nature walks are linked to enhanced mental health and positivity and significantly lower depression and feelings of stress.
Spending time in nature can soothe your anxiety and fear and ease your stress. You will have a greater chance of not feeling so depressed and anxious. It can also help with overall mental health.
Don’t let your worry and concern rob you of the beauty all around you.
Mental health is sooo important. If you need a day, take a day. Find something to relax you. Bubble bath, nature, writing, painting, etc. Just do it. ~ Adam Danyal
A change of scene can help.
I thought going further away for a day or two would help. Just a change of scene might make a difference. Yet, there was also the feeling I couldn’t go anywhere when my child was having such a hard time.
Going on even a short trip is not always in the cards, but when I can make it happen, it helps me feel better. And I came to realize that when I feel better, I do better.
Since traveling is becoming a little easier, even a day trip or a night or two away can bring some positivity. I took a trip to southern California, where I grew up. To stay somewhere new for the week felt great. It gave my mind a break from the worry. Seeing old friends and doing something different felt good.
Now that the world is opening up, I want to do more traveling, even if it is a short trip. It helps me have a positive frame of mind.
Don’t let people pull you into their storm. Pull them into your peace. ~ Kimberly Jones
Our instincts can lead us to peace.
We hear much advice when our kids are struggling. Some of the advice is helpful, some not so much. As time went on, I realized that listening to my instincts would clarify what I needed to do to help the healing process.
Sometimes we can avoid our intuition, thinking others have better ideas than we do.
Yet, you know your child best.
Educate yourself as much as you can. But filter incoming information and ask yourself:
- Does this make sense for our situation?
- Is this something I feel good about?
- Will these ideas be something my child will be willing to do?
That felt empowering and gave me the strength to know that I could filter through the advice from others and find what would work best for me. That gave me greater inner peace.
I have put time and effort into having a more peaceful life because I knew my life would be never-ending worry and stress without it.
I have learned that having inner peace is possible even when times are troubled.
When your bones are tired of carrying everyone else’s problems, and when your lungs are tired of breathing life into other people, return back home to yourself for a while. Shift your energy back inwards. Reunite with peace again. ~ Billy Chapata
Thank you for reading. If you are concerned about your son or daughter’s substance use, learn research-based tools that can help you motivate your child to change. Add the Sunday newsletter to your weekly routine. Sign up now.
