I am honored today to interview Alex Blackwell who has just published his first book, Saying Yes to Change: 10 Timeless Life Lessons for Creating Positive Change.
Alex is a gifted writer and founder of the amazing blog, The BridgeMaker. Alex writes from his heart, sharing his past, even the most painful parts, so that we can be inspired, realize that we are not alone, and know that change is possible.
Can you explain your book title, “Saying Yes to Change?” What convinced you to write the book?
Saying Yes to Change is a reminder that the choice to seek positive change belongs to each of us. Except in unfortunate circumstances, we can chose to stay in a place that is toxic, destructive or unfulfilling; or we can chose to break free, seek change and begin the journey to a more rewarding, happier life.
Simply put, we own the choice to say “Yes” to change and I believe that is incredibly empowering.
I wrote the book to provide a properly sized window into my life so others can see their lives in the reflection of the window’s glass. Often we feel like we are alone with our thoughts, feelings or fears. But by being open with my path to change, might give someone the encouragement to begin their journey, too.
What overall message do you hope to share with readers of your book?
Saying Yes to Change: 10 Timeless Life Lessons for Creating Positive Change is for anyone who feels the nudge to change; and it’s for people who are already walking the paths to positive change. If you feel stuck, alone or scared, the book will inspire you to acknowledge what you need to heal or change so you can begin living a happier, more meaningful life — right now.
The book has one primary theme, or message I would like the readers to remember: Creating positive change begins with discovering one powerful truth: You cannot change or heal what you do not acknowledge.
Clearly your upbringing affected you. Can you expand how your mother’s substance abuse altered the course of your life?
Cathy, this is a deep and painful question.
My mother was an alcoholic. Later in her life, she became addicted to pain medications (narcotics). Both of her parents were also alcoholics, so I guess she never had a chance.
My most vivid, and painful, image of mother is of her sitting in a dark room, drinking. She would pull down the window shades to make sure the light didn’t come in. The only light was from the end of her cigarette.
To this day, I get triggered around 4 p.m. when the light begins to fall outside and the room grows darker. I turn on every light in the room so I don’t have to go back to that time and space.
Her abuse has altered my life by making me anxious, but it’s also made me vigilant to break the cycle for my children. I’m proud to say that I have done that.
Do you think everyone who has a troubled childhood has to “hit bottom” before they can change and shed the burden of their past? What advice do you have for others who have suffered from a similar situation?
No, I don’t.
I believe we walk the journey that is planned for each of us. Hitting bottom is not a prerequisite to surrendering the past, only becoming mindful of what the past is costing us is needed. This mindfulness can certainly happen in degrees — there’s no one size fits all.
Tell us about your amazing blog, The BridgeMaker.
The BridgeMaker connects people who are looking to walk by faith, share inspiration and celebrate positive change. The meaning of the blog’s name comes from becoming aware of where we are today and seeing where we want to be tomorrow and then making the deliberate choice to cross the bridge to discover the beautiful life waiting for us there.
What is your dream going forward? How will change continue to affect your life?
My dream is to continue sharing my heart. I don’t know where all of this is going, or how it will turn out, but I do have faith. This is my plan and I’m excited to see what’s next!
What do you like to do in your spare time?
This may sound old-fashioned, but I still enjoy hanging out with my wife, Mary Beth. I love our Saturdays of running errands, chauffeuring Emily to her events and then catching a movie, or dinner, or both.
I’m also an avid runner, Kansas City Royals baseball fan and an enjoyer (but not expert) of fine wine.
I try to spend my spare time savoring every moment — each one happens so fast.
Click here to order this inspiring book on Amazon!
Alex Blackwell is the Founder of The BridgeMaker. His first book, Saying Yes to Change: 10 Timeless Life Lessons for Creating Positive Change is now available on Amazon. Connect with Alex on Facebook.
Alex and Cathy – what a wonderful interview. I especially liked this statement, “You cannot change or heal what you do not acknowledge.” Once we stop and face the trigger of our negative feeling(s), we can start to accept their source for what it is, which puts us back into a place of power to change. I look forward to reading your book, Alex — it sounds very empowering. Thank you both!
Hi Lisa,
I like how you associate regaining our power once we acknowledge our reality. I really believe once we face our reality, we can then find the means to change it!
Please enjoy my book,
Alex
I certainly agree that the power to change is within us all. I don’t however believe that “we walk the jouney that is planned for us.” We chart our journeys, thereby choosing our own way.
Hi William,
I do believe in Free Will and self-responsibility. And I also believe layered in is a plan that is unique for each one of us. Thanks so much for sharing your point-of-view.
Alex
Love this post Alex and Cathy! The comment that stood out for me was, “I believe we walk the journey that is planned for each of us.” For me that means being able to accept the past, even if it involves hitting rock bottom, and to live life as the person we were meant to be.
Thanks you Carolyn. For me, it means walking by faith,and not by sight. Like you, no matter what happens, I know there are no accidents without value!
Best,
Alex
Thanks for the interview Cathy.
Hi Cathy,
What a wonderful interview.
What always resonates with me is, “You cannot change or heal what you do not acknowledge.” I tell my friends this all the time. Change is inevitable whether you like it or not. So accept 100% responsibility for yourself and your actions and do something about them.
Life is a choice and it’s up to you to live it to the fullest. If you don’t want to fine. If you do then let’s start making that change because trust me, it’s so worth it.
So happy to hear that you broke that cycle Alex. I have no doubt your book is awesome.
~Adrienne
Amen Adrienne!
It’s good to break the cycle, and then witnessing what’s happening next!
Alex
Alex, your book is such a wonderful gift! I am treasuring it. Those are valuable life lessons that will benefit everyone who reads the book. The personal stories are a big bonus.
Thank you.
Thank you Alex for sharing your story. I too was a child of an acholic father. It does leave its scares, but I have found that by looking at the scares and studing them they do fade and you become a better and heathier person.
We all have the power to take life’s lesson and use them for good or whine about them. Glad to see that you using them for good in your life and helping others turn their lives around.
As I always say to myself, “The Lord never hands you more than you can carry.” “And if you do fall with a full load He is always there to help you up.”
Thank again and thank you Cathy for sharing this interview. Blessings to you both,
Debbie
Debbie,
Thanks for sharing your story. It’s good to know we are not alone with our past struggles, or pain.
Continued blessings to you, too!
Alex
Hi Alex and Cathy,
I really enjoyed this interview. Thank you.
Alex, I could really resonate with the point you made about not knowing exactly what will happen, while having faith.
Having strong faith that things will work out can be so powerful. Having true faith has the strength to overcome any doubts that creep in. That’s what I find.
I wish you the very best with your book and thank you for sharing your experiences and wisdom with us all.
Here’s to staying strong Hiten!
Yours in faith,
Alex