Self-care is never a selfish act – it is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on earth to offer others. Anytime we can listen to true self and give the care it requires, we do it not only for ourselves but for the many others whose lives we touch. ~
Are you taking care of your inner world?
At some point in our lives, we are all confronted by obstacles that most people overcome or learn to accept. Some people, however, continue to feel stuck.
It may be because of a relative’s death, the ending of a relationship, the loss of our youth at too early an age, or maybe even our child’s addiction.
Like many, I have felt the bumps in the road of life. I tried to convince myself that I was strong, that I could handle it. I didn’t feel the need to express my feelings, nor did I feel the need to do the work to find out what my feelings really were. It was easier just to keep on dancing.
Sometimes we put on that happy face and turn the music up just a little faster, so no one is the wiser. We don’t practice healthy self-care.
Life can be amazing, and life can be challenging.
That is where self-care comes in.
Taking care of myself is what I finally realized was the important next step I needed to take. It allowed me to have something left to give back to others.
Self-care allows you to pull yourself back up into the world of the living. It allows you to find that place where compassion, love, healing, and joy can reign free. It gives you back the most important relationship you can have – the relationship with yourself.
I decided to ask some amazing fellow bloggers who were kind enough to share their wisdom about how they take care of themselves. I asked them what they do to keep their life in balance, to create happiness and how they fill up their own personal fuel tanks.
Here are twelve amazing bloggers and their thoughts on self-care:
1. Beth Wilson, B Here Today
Sometimes, the best I can do is simply think about how I want to take care of myself. Now, I’m careful during those times with my language, i.e., making sure I don’t use the dreaded “ou” words: would, could, and ought. Then, during those days and weeks when I’m slammed, I do two things every day without fail. In the morning, as soon as I open my eyes, I give myself a few moments to pray and express my gratitude for a new day. At night, before I close my eyes, I reach for the cell phone app that lets me post five things I’m grateful for, along with a quote and a selected picture. Those are my two anchors for the day.
2. Betsy Henry, The Zen Mama’s Blog
Here are 5 things I do every day to keep my life in balance:
1. Breathe. Andrew Weil has a great breathing technique called 4-7-8, that I got to learn from him in person. It helps me to relax and even go back to sleep at night.
2. Get up early in the morning. Then I never feel rushed on my way to work. The un-rushed feeling lasts all day.
3. Have a relaxing meal at night with my family. Cooking is a creative outlet for me.
4. Exercise – a walk is usually my everyday exercise.
5. Laugh and smile as much as possible.
3. David Stevens, David Stevens Life Coach
“Balance” is an interesting word. Is it 50/50 or something different? I endeavor to keep my life in a ‘healthy state.’ This means regular exercise, challenging my thoughts, writing what I love, helping my family, and generally looking for the good. And a lot of smiling. “Balance” has a fine line, daring not to trip on to “the other side.” That’s why I prefer “Healthy state.”
(I love how David always ends his emails or comments with “Be good to yourself.”)
4. Fran Sorin, Fran Sorin.com
Over several years, I’ve learned to keep myself in balance by doing things that give my soul nutrition. My morning routine of spiritual reading, meditating, being in the garden, and walking set the day’s tone. Physical exercise has always been an important element in my life –rowing and pilates are activities I do on a regular basis. Having a spiritual community gives me tremendous strength and insight. Practicing mindfulness and gratitude keeps me grounded and present. And finally, having a sense of humor is a must. I can’t imagine a day without laughing.
5. Kyczy Hawk, Yoga, and Recovery
Self Care Basket – CD with my own healing music (calm, sweet, affirmative music, children’s music in the mix), a book of quotes, a book with blank pages, a coloring book, colored pencils. Incense, other books I ‘plan to read” and lotion. Sometimes I put other stuff in there – like kids clay or a movie I plan to see. It is really a bag, but if I had a basket, I would use it.
6. Leslie Ferris, Phase 2 For You
I think the thing that I did best for myself was to have about 4 people who were just willing to listen without trying to solve anything. I had two other coaches that I talked to and a couple of invaluable friends. My local friends dragged me out now and then, and that was really helpful too. I made sure I had those folks and that I talked it out enough. I need my peeps – and I feel lucky to have had them.
7. Lisa Frederiksen, Breaking The Cycles
Part of my self-care has been to explore new hobbies I’ve always wanted to try – rock climbing and fly fishing are my latest favorites. What I like best about these two is the opportunity to lose myself. And by this, I mean the way all my worries fears and should just disappear as I give in to the fly casting rhythm or the “reading” of a rock. Bliss!
8. Sandi Amorim, Deva Coaching
The one practice I have which transformed my idea of self-care is asking myself this one question, “What can I do to feel better?” It works because it keeps me present to what I need at the moment rather than relying on a routine. If I’m having a challenging day, the question helps me take a small step forward. If I’m having an already good day, it amplifies it. It also frees me up from the concept of balance, which I find limiting. Balance, for me, is less about the present moment and more about some imagined experience in the future, which has very little to do with caring for myself.
9. Sandy Swenson, Sandy Swenson.com
Right now, I’m focusing on exercise, for both physical and mental health. Every day, I try to take a step in the right direction, walking or jogging, trying to get in 10,000 steps. I’m shooting for a 10K Turkey Trot in November. Whether I end up running, walking, or trotting, the goal is to keep me healthy.
10. Tess Marshall, The Bold Life
My self-care consists of my morning ritual of sitting in silence, writing in my journal, reading a lesson from A Course In Miracles, and practicing gratitude and forgiveness. I also either run or swim 5-7 days a week and consistently choose travel overwork, which sounds easier than it is sometimes;)
11. Victor Schueller, Victor Schueller.com
One of the best ways I have found to take care of myself and maintain a life balance is to be mindful of how much I am helping meet those around me versus how much I am meeting my own needs. I always take time for myself. As far as balancing work and life, that is a bit trickier. I have found to carve more “life” out of my schedule by becoming more efficient in my work. When I work, I work with clear lists, goals, and objectives. This leaves me more productive in less time, leaving more time to enjoy my family.
12. Vidya Sury, Vidya Sury.com
I begin my day with prayer, starting with five minutes of gratitude for all I am blessed with, and a ten-minute meditation. This is followed by cooking breakfast and lunch. Cooking from scratch is a major stress-reliever as it helps me focus and create, and brings the reward of appreciation from my family and friends. I have fun doing housework accompanied by music. Great mood-upper. I enjoy journaling and writing, both as my current and through blogging. We make it a point to walk on our terrace together and share the day’s events. Our home is blessed with a solid sense of humor, and laughter is a big part of my day. I make it a point to give something away every day. The awareness that I am loved and supported in all that I do keeps me happy.
Do you think self-care is important? What do you do to take care of yourself? Let us know in the comments.
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Beautiful Cathy. Just beautiful.
Thanks so much Elle!
Incredible post, Cathy, with lots of great ideas for self-care. As I read through I found themes of gratitude, humor, doing something physical and mental running through. All great tips to add into my own life.
Thanks!!
Hi Betsy,
Great wisdom with our fellow bloggers. I too loved to hear how they balance their lives. Thanks!!
Thanks for including me in this very inspiring group!
xoxo
Betsy
You are most welcome!! xoxo
This post is beautiful to read, Cathy. I love that there are so many common threads – laughter, time with self,and mind and body care.
I loved David’s “is it 50/50” question.And yes, Like Tess, I spend time with A Course in Miracles’ daily lesson – it is the first thing I open in my mailbox. Sandi’s “What can I do to feel better” is something my Mom always encouraged.
I just loved everyone’s words. Off to visit the three people I just met here.
Thank you Cathy. This is a wonderful idea!
Thank you for your input! I loved your suggestions as well. You are such a happy, joyful person. I know that you take care of yourself on a daily basis, because you seem to be in a continual loving place. Thanks Vidya!
Hi Cathy,
Really enjoyed this post. Some great tips for self-care. I have recently embarked on meditating daily (almost) and it really makes a difference knowing that I am doing something to look after myself, and I also exercise regularly.
I have a question though. Does everyone here do it daily without fail, and if not, how do you manage disruptions to your routine?
Thanks to all
Hi Keith,
Welcome! Meditating is really a great habit to get into, as well as regular exercise. I will be honest here. I have days that seem to slip by and I realize I’ve skipped my routine. I feel that inner restlessness slowly growing, and I just try to quickly get back on track. We all strive to do the best we can. Establishing a daily routine can help. Thanks so much for stopping by!
Nicely presented Cathy. Thank you for allowing me to be a small part of this.
Be good to yourself
David
Hi David,
I’m so glad that I was able to share your input. Thanks so much!
Beautifully done Cathy. Thanks for including me!
Absolutely. Thanks Sandi, for taking the time to participate. Your words are always inspiring!
I love this post, Cathy (and thank you for the inclusion!). Like you, it wasn’t until I started doing self-care that my world really opened, and I was finally able to do the hard work to recover from secondhand drinking impacts. I’d always believed self-care was selfish, as if it was a bad thing. Now I know it’s what allowed me to find and continue being today, my true self.
Hi Lisa,
Great point that often we feel that it is selfish to think of ourselves first. I too have learned, probably the hard way, that self care truly can make the difference in your approach to life. It’s what gives me the strength to carry on during those times that feel overwhelming. I love it that you are out there fly fishing and rock climbing. I’m in awe! Thanks so much for your time and for sharing your thoughts with us!
What a positively uplifting post, Cathy! Thank you for including me.
Hi Sandy,
Welcome! Thank you for participating and for sharing your thoughts. I’ve seen that tennis shoe on some pics on your page and knew you were heading off to do something wonderful. Best of luck on your Turkey Trot! Take care.
Cathy –
What a rich post – I feel blessed to read co-bloggers are doing and how several of our strategies overlap~
Thanks so much for including my thoughts ~ Fran
Hi Fran,
It is wonderful to hear what you do to keep yourself balanced. I appreciate you taking the time to share your thoughts. Thank you!
Hi Cathy,
I love Vidya’s exercise of giving something away ever day. I do this regularly but not sure if I do it daily.
Yesterday I was in a long line at Starbucks in the airport. There were at least 20 people ahead of me and 10 behind me. I’m sure they’re his busy all the time.
I quickly noticed there was only one dollar bill a few pennies in the tip jar. I put in $1.50 and said “I’ll start a generous streak!”
I’ve heard that tips are a lot less because people are paying with credit cards and debit cards.
I think we need to plan ahead with our tipping. If one is buying expensive coffee there is no excuse on why one can’t make sure he/she has a dollar bill in their pocket for a tip. The think stopping them would be a negative thought. The coffee is expensive enough…I shouldn’t have to leave a tip. It borderlines on entitlement. OK I’m done ranting;) I’m going to make it a point to give daily…something to someone. Even if it’s a smile etc.
Hi Tess,
That is a beautiful thought – to give something away everyday. Vidya has such a giving soul. That was so sweet of you to give a generous tip at Starbucks! Nice to get the ball rolling. I’m sure the workers appreciated that! Great idea – let’s all give something away everyday! Thanks for stopping by.
Great variety of ways to engage in “self-care” here. The key message I hear is that it is as important to care for one’s self as it is to care for others. And that there is a difference between selfishness and self care.
Welcome Jill! Great point. I found in my experience that there is a difference between being selfish and taking care of yourself. When you regularly fill your own personal fuel tank, you then have something to give to others. It does help the whole family. Thanks for stopping by!
Thanks for including me in this Cathy. What a great article! Lots of great stuff here for others to learn and try!
I was so glad to include you Leslie. Thank you for sharing what works for you with regards to self care.
Sweet, Cathy. Very meaningful and helpful piece. Given my work, as well as my history, I always have a heart for those who kind of automatically get stuck when it comes to initiating and maintaining self-care. Sure doesn’t come easy for so many – life has dealt some very crushing blows. Nonetheless, self-care – gentleness to self – is a worthy goal, to be sure. Actually, in many ways a life-saver. Curious, for some it comes so easily. For others it takes a Herculian effort. Hmmm. Thank you, as always, for your tender care…
Bill
So true that it is easier for some than for others. I feel so passionate about that message of self care. It helped me so much to take the focus off worrying about my kids and putting time and energy into myself. I truly believe it helps everyone. Thanks Bill!
Thank you for a wonderful article. It really hits home.
You are welcome Patricia. I’m glad that the article resonated with you. Thanks for stopping by!
Thanks for sharing Cathy and introducing me to some of the bloggers above. We think self-care sometimes is not necessary and we can continue to go about the world without taking care of ourselves first. I’ve since found we cannot be our best selves or contribute to the world as much if we don’t care for ourselves first. I share many of the practices these amazing bloggers discuss and more importantly try to to schedule self-care time into my day each day. Making self-care a priority allows me to be my best self each day!
Your words are so true, Vishnu! That is wonderful that you have found a routine that works for you. Scheduling self-care time into each day is habit that will allow you to be your best self. We do need a reminder from time to time to not neglect ourselves. Thanks for stopping by!
Great reminders, Cathy! And, thank you for the intro to a few new bloggers I’ve never heard of! I tend to juggle a little too much and the first ball I drop when it gets too much is my self care. I like Betsy’s “laugh and smile as much as possible” a lot. Laughter is absolutely my favorite thing to do in the world. Many days, I’ll get into bed and think, “That was a hectic day but I laughed often so it was a good day!”
What a wonderful post Cathy and they all have such wonderful suggestions for how they care for themselves. I see a lot of repeats which means that definitely is important to a lot of people.
It was good hearing how others take care of themselves so thank you for sharing this with us and introducing us to some amazing people.
~Adrienne
Hi Adrienne,
Self care I feel can make the difference for anyone in any situation, not just recovery. I’m glad you enjoyed the post. I do think it is so nice to have new opinions and wonderful when people share what they have learned. Thank you for your wonderful comment!
I am just starting to really take self care seriously (I have been mentoring others to care for themselves for years and became burned out in the process).
My first steps are to keep trying new things, one adventure at a time, because life was meant to be lived.
Thank you for the advice along the way.
https://embark52.wordpress.com/
Great Brenda that you are taking self care seriously. It can promote healing and so needed if you are trying to help others.
Wonderful post Cathy. Self care really make amazing change in any body’s life. Thank you 🙂
So true, Linda! Thank you for stopping by.
I really enjoyed your story about the need for self-care and I also like the idea you had of giving 12 other people the opportunity to share how they deal with life and what it brings. I think sometimes we read books concerning self-care and we often get the impression that the author is saying that there is only one way to deal with problems like stress and anxiety. Everyone is different and we cope in different ways. Your story and the stories of the 12 bloggers shed light on that fact.
Thanks
Good point that “Everyone is different and we cope in different ways.” Self care as well as other things in life is individual. I appreciate your ideas.
I like that they’re all ideas from different realms of self-care. I’d be interested in seeing more about what ideas they feel like they are doing the best in and what areas they want to continue to work on.