I am excited to interview Cassie Fariello today from Other Parents Like Me.
You can watch the video here:
Here are the notes and information from the interview with Casie.
1. Could you tell us about yourself and what motivated you to work with families who have struggling kids?
I have three children, two boys and a girl. My older son struggled with anxiety his whole life.
His behavior impacted the family system. My oldest child started smoking weed. Things began to spiral in my home with my son’s substance use testing us.
I didn’t know what to do – I felt lost. My oldest daughter was at college and had anxiety, especially when she heard about her brother, John. Her youngest was going through his journey of figuring out who he was. He is part of the LGBTQ community and began cutting himself. Casie had everything happening at the same time.
My oldest son went to therapeutic boarding school, and that’s where we learned to take care of ourselves. I realized I was part of the solution, and the family could work together.
Even though he was the most extreme, it didn’t mean everybody didn’t have a part.
Casie started running support groups during the pandemic for her son’s program and saw the change in herself. She also started volunteering at the Partnership to End Addiction as well.
With her work, she started feeling more transformed and way less alone.
2. What approaches can help parents concerned about their teens or young adults?
First, learning to take care of myself. Self-care is part of my everyday. It’s not a crisis anymore. My life changed when I went to the Partnshipship and began to learn CRAFT and the 20-Minute Guide. I can’t talk enough about the 20-Minute Guide. That changed my perspective on how I should interact with my son using substances and my child with anxiety.
I can hold boundaries with her and have self-care around it. I learned I didn’t have to be in it with my daughter and her anxiety, and I also used it with my younger son. He is a year and a half free of cutting.
I can’t say enough about the 20-Minute Guide and practicing the skills. That is the other key – practicing and self-care, so you’re not making yourself crazy.
3. What are the most common challenges for parents worried about struggling teens or young adults?
I know it’s talked about a lot, but shame and stigma. It’s still really hard to go into a support group. People will read information, watch videos, read resources, they’ll read books, but it’s hard for them to come to a support group.
I am being present and saying out loud that my life is not perfect and that I’m in crisis sometimes. I’m embarrassed. It’s so hard, and it’s still so hard for me.
I’m still practicing and making mistakes, even though I’m very public in this kind of forum. I still have a hard time if someone comes up to me and says, “How are things really?” At that moment, you want to cringe. It’s so hard.
4. Why did you start Other Parents Like Me? Who is the group for, and what do you hope parents gain from it?
It was inspired by the work that I had been doing. It has resources, a toolkit with books, podcasts, and things you can find. I always felt I didn’t know where to look, so that is one of our goals.
There is a glossary of terms because it is Greek. We have talked to support people, and parents want to feel comfortable when they finally reach out to someone. You want to know someone else has already talked to them and that they liked them.
We started speaker talks because I wanted the ability for the parents to ask questions, and they do. It’s recorded, and people can watch it later on the platform.
We have fifteen support groups a week. We have two men’s support groups, a trauma support group discussing our trauma and a gratitude support group.
I want people to go into a support group and feel seen and connected with the group there.
It’s still a work in progress. The group is free for three months.
I’m passionate about touching every parent, caregiver, or foster parent to find a place where you feel like you’ve landed.
5. What is a word/thought of hope or encouragement you would give to parents who are listening?
The situation is uncomfortable, and it’s okay to have gratitude sometimes. I didn’t choose any of these paths for my kids or me.
But I’ve grown so much. I have gratitude, and my kids are amazing human beings under the age of twenty-five. They are so present and so available to others.
There is gratitude in growing.
6. Where can people find out more about you and your work?
Our website is www.oplm.com. We are on Facebook, Instagram, and Linkedin.
People can always email me directly. It’s casie@oplm.com
Casie Fariello worked for 26 years in the customer service industry as a flight attendant for United Airlines, previously Continental. She learned a lot through being a volunteer Parent Coach and Facilitator for The Partnership to End Addiction. Cassie became a qualified Peer Recovery Specialist in New Jersey. She created the program of parent support groups at In Balance Continuum of Care in Arizona, growing from one meeting a week to eight and changing the experience for kids and parents alike. In Balance, families are currently wrapped into the Other Parents Like Me Platform with two meetings exclusive to them and giving their parents full access to the other 14 support groups, speaker talks, expert panels, and a resource hub. Casie volunteered at In Balance as their Transitional and Collegiate Living Parent Liaison, which gave her great insights into being a parent who discovers their young adults’ full struggles once they go to college.
Casie has three children that have catapulted me into learning about and focusing on self-care, self-discovery, self-regulation, and my childhood trauma. Her oldest has severe anxiety and PTSD. Her middle has a pervasive feeling of being nothing, and he has chosen substances to self-medicate. Casie’s youngest has anxiety and depression, as well as being on his journey as an LGBTQ young adult in a tumultuous world. She has found that support groups have changed my life. Casie loves to hear other people’s stories and share her own because she feels less alone and ashamed.
Casie usually gardens, reads, or travels with her family during her time off.
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Thank you for sharing this valuable information, Cathy and Casie. One of the best ways to help and support people through this type of life challenge is with information from people who have been through it. When recovering from my brain injury, I found other survivors more helpful than doctors!
So true, Debbie, that when we can connect with others who understand and will not be judgmental, it helps with the stigma, shame, and feelings of wanting to. isolate.
This is such good information, Cathy. I appreciate you sharing information from those who have been through it themselves. They bring a whole new perspective to the issue.
Thanks, Elle, for stopping by.