I am convinced it is the single greatest thing you can do for the health and happiness of your family.” – Jason Kotecki
Between work schedules, and your children’s activities, it can sometimes feel like a near impossibility, yet family dinners can help your family stay connected.
Studies show that children who sit down to a frequent family dinner are less likely to drink or smoke, do drugs, get pregnant, suffer from depression, and develop eating disorders.
They also have larger vocabularies, better manners, higher self-esteem, and more resilience.
A study out of the University of Michigan found that the number of mealtimes children shares with their families at home was the single strongest predictor of high academic achievement.
Many of your parent concerns have the potential to be improved by sitting down to a regular family dinner.
President George W. Bush stressed the importance of regular family dinners. He made a public service announcement in support of Family Day in 2007 with his mother, Barbara Bush.
“I call upon the people of the United States to observe this day by engaging in activities that strengthen the bonds between parents and children.”
President Obama weighed in during his 2010 Family proclamation:
“Simple daily activities such as sharing a meal, a conversation, or a book can have an enormous impact on the life of a child. Strong and engaged families help build a strong America, and it is our responsibility as concerned family members to discuss the dangers of substance abuse.”
Jamie Lee Curtis, among others, has also taken up the family dinner cause.
“Creating this ritual where you turn off the TV, ignore the phone and just spend quality time together is crucial to helping your children feel emotionally, spiritually and mentally balanced. We all can generate a list of reasons why we cannot possibly fit dinner with the family into our schedule. The time has come to say enough with the excuses and just do it. Trust me, it means more to your kids’ futures than you think. If I can find the time to have meals with my family, so can you.”
Family Day – A Day to Eat Dinner with Your ChildrenTM is celebrated in September. It was launched in 2001 by The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University. Family Day is a national movement that reminds parents that frequent family dinners are an effective tool to help keep America’s kids substance-free.
The more often kids eat dinner with their families, the less likely they are to smoke, drink or use drugs.
Scheduling is often an issue when both parents often work. Children are often involved with sports or theater activities which can interfere. Cell phones and texting are a source of interruption.
When schedules prohibit a regular dinner time meal, consider family breakfast or scheduling dinner at an earlier time to satisfy the needs of your family. Flexibility is the key.
Come together as often as you can whenever you have the time. Try eating dinner together one night a week if that is all that is possible, or have a snack in the evening together as a family. Consider the weekends, if the weekdays are too busy.
Here are five reasons why regular family dinner is important.
It can relieve stress. A study from Brigham Young University found that sitting down to a family dinner helped families, but especially working moms lower the tension from long work hours.
Your kids may eat more veggies. Children tend to eat more fruit and vegetables and less junk food when they sit down to a family dinner.
It is the perfect opportunity to share new foods. Rather than insist that your child eat what is on their plate, exposing them regularly to new foods and giving them the opportunity to try them will teach them to enjoy a variety of healthy fruits and vegetables.
Reduces a child’s chance of smoking, drinking and using drugs. Substance abuse can affect any family, but interacting with your children at the dinner table is one more way to help prevent substance abuse.
Helps Your Child’s Grades. A family dinner is a great time for conversation. It is the perfect opportunity to build your child’s vocabulary by talking with them and an opportunity for them to listen to adults talk to each other.
Finally, according to the National Center on Addiction & Substance Abuse at Columbia University (2007), compared to kids who have fewer than three family dinners per week, children and teens who have frequent family dinners are:
- At 70% lower risk for substance abuse
- Half as likely to try cigarettes
- Half as likely to be daily cigarette smokers
- Half as likely to try marijuana
- Half as likely to get drunk monthly
- One third less likely to try alcohol
- Likelier to get better grades in school
- Less likely to have friends who drink alcohol & use marijuana
- Likelier to have parents who take responsibility
- Almost 40% likelier to say future drug use will never happen
As with anything, family dinners are not a guarantee against substance abuse but is one more tool in your kit to help your child make healthy choices and have a successful life.
Do you have regular family dinners? Is there a family mealtime that works better for you? Please share your thoughts in comments.
Wonderful and important topic Cathy!
I think with the times changing, the importance of family dinners is something that most families need to understand. Besides the wonderful facts and points you listed, which does so much of good to our kids, it also bring the family together as whole and bonds them better.
Having our meals together is a rule in our family, something which each one of us follows, no matter what the schedule of the day. It is also the perfect time to share all that has happened during the day, which the kids love doing and that relieves their stress and anxiety and lightens them instantly.
Thanks for sharing and creating more awareness about this vital topic. 🙂
Hi Harleena,
Everyone is so busy now, the family dinner can easily be forgotten. That is wonderful that you spend that time in your family. It is not a guarantee of healthy choices, but it does provide a great way to stay connected with they family and an opportunity for communication. Take care.
Thanks for highlighting the importance of family meal times! It really is a great way to catch up with everyone and share what’s been happening in the day. I try to have family sit down meals as often as possible!
Hi Carolyn,
They are a great time to communicate with each other and just check in. As we know it is not a cure all for making healthy choices, but I do feel that it helps the family stay connected. I’m happy that it works for your family. Take care.
Cathy,
Thanks for the wonderful reminder of how important it is to eat together as a family! We (my wife and I) don’t discuss the importance of eating together, but it’s sort of an unwritten rule. It’s easy to do now that the kids are young and depend on us to provide the food, but we’ll continue to practice the tradition. Thank you again! I hope all is well with you! Take care!
Hi Victor,
That is wonderful that you eat together as a family. It is the perfect time to check with your children as they grow older, see how they are doing and remind them often about the importance of making healthy choices. Take care!
Hi Cathy,
We did eat together as a family. When the girls were in high school they would get soooo mad at me for this. I would set the timer on the microwave for 20 minutes. Even if they didn’t eat, they had to sit with the rest of us. I can’t say we were all smiling like the photo!
I don’t know how families can really know each other without doing this. The other time that was good for talking was in the car and today the only connection there seems to be in the car is to ipods or cell phone. Sigh. I sound so O-L-D!
Hi Tess,
The timer idea is a good one, and I do feel that cellphones etc., should be off when you sit down for dinner. I didn’t have that issue when my kids were young (no iphones then) but even now I think cellphones should not be allowed at the table. It’s a great time to talk and connect face to face. There are so many challenges these days, but if it starts early, then meal time becomes a family habit.
Hi Cathy,
This is such an important topic, and often very difficult to do in families where there is untreated, unhealthily discussed alcohol abuse or alcoholism because of the tension that exists at any family gathering – especially the dinner table. Reading the statistics of what happens for children who do have the family dinner experience as compared to those who don’t is another very important reason the conversation about substance misuse and its impact on families needs to become mainstream. Thanks for sharing this very important information, Cathy!
Hi Lisa,
Thank you for reminding us about the dysfunctional family dinner. That is a very good point. The idea is to make the family dinner a pleasant experience and that is challenging when there is active alcohol or drug abuse present.
Regular family dinners are not a guarantee by any means that your child will make healthy choices, but for any family raising young children, the evidence points to the benefits of having a regular time to connect. This is a great opportunity to be creative and make the best use of your dinner or meal together.
Cathy,
This is so important! I’m glad you listed all the reasons why it’s worth the extra effort for busy parents to make sure the family sits down together.
Hi Angela,
It is important and can make a difference in children’s lives. Take care.
Hi Cathy,
I 100% agree with this article! It makes me wonder why these facts exist. Do you think it’s because the nuclear family is our first important experience of community and all that entails? Knowing there is a place where you can dump out your daily drudge, get answers and support and just relax and be yourself – the family dinner table = your community = very important support in life.
Thanks for this!
Lori
Hi Lori,
You couldn’t have said it better. Parents are the first and most important means of emotional support for young children, and where better to come together than around a meal. It is the beginning of community building, and a time for families to have support and connection.
Meals together is a regular with us. We definitely have breakfast and dinner together on week days and all meals together during the weekend. On weekdays we also spend tea time together after Sury gets home and then go to the terrace for a 45-minute walk together where we walk, laugh, share jokes and the day’s stuff. Sometimes we are just like three kids having fun.
In my childhood, we were a joint family with my Granma, Mom, three Uncles and Aunts. It was my duty every day, to lay the table – which was basically cleaning the room, laying out mats and plates on the floor, and a glass of water next to each plate. The men would all eat first, with the children with the women serving the food. After they finished, it was the women’s turn – with the men serving their food. After dinner/lunch, I would clear up the plates and clean the room again, swabbing it. Today it sounds like a lot of work…but back then it was a comfortable way of life and such fun. Everyone knew what the other liked/disliked, their mannerisms, and was sensitive to each other. The awareness of each other was high and so was the bonding.
Your post is so relevant and valuable, Cathy. Thank you.
Hi Vidya,
Your childhood experience sounds so loving, and it is great to hear about your family traditions. Sounds like you are having such fun with your family now and that is good to hear! Take care.
Hi Cathy:
I wonder if the family dinner is eroding today because of busy lives, technology and changes within the family structure (i.e. kids with one parent). I remember seeing an episode of Oprah where the family texted each other within the house!! I can only imagine what their dinner time was like.
I am huge fan of Jamie Olivers Food Revolution. In the most recent LA season, there was a single dad who never really cooked anything for his kids because he didn’t know how. They got take out a lot, fast food, etc. Jamie taught the dad and kids to cook some basic dishes. They grew a family garden. Jamie came back to check on them later on in the show and you can see how much these skills and ideas had changed their lives. They no longer ate fast food. They cooked meals together and sat down as a family. It was very sweet to see the changes and how their lives were transformed by food.
– Wendy
Hi Wendy,
All that you mentioned are reasons why it is challenging to keep the family together at dinner or meal time. If we are not at work or school, we are on the computer, cell phone and texting. Technology has been amazing, but there are some downsides, such as face to face connection. What a great story about the single dad. Jamie Oliver seems to do a wonderful job of giving back above and beyond his TV shows. His recipes are perfect for busy families.
Cathy…..I love this post. It brought back so many sweet memories. Growing up, without a doubt, we had dinner together every night. My Mom was a stickler for using dinner as a tool for educating. We had to look up a new word in the dictionary and read an article from the paper….to be discussed with the rest of the family. It was a hoot. I think most of the time we ended up laughing our heads off.
When I was raising my kids, family meals were a given. Part of the ritual was the preparation, cutting the salad, setting the table, etc. And of course, I carried on my mother’s tradition in an informal manner….discussing current events, etc. To this day, my children joke with me about our dinners.
The facts you offer about the effects of sharing family dinners is enough of a reason for every reader to make cooking and sitting with your family each night at the dinner table a top priority. Fran
Hi Fran,
I love your mom’s tradition – that is great! We need more of that these days. That is wonderful that you had dinner with your family every night. You’ve nailed it that family dinner is important, but what you do with the time is the key. Discussing world events, or having kids contribute in some manner can make for memories that last a lifetime. Thank you for your input!
What a wonderful reminder of how important family time really is! I agree…“The more often kids eat dinner with their families, the less likely they are to smoke, drink or use drugs.” Such a powerful statement! Thank you, Cathy!
That is what the studies show, but the main point is that it is a time of connection. By using that time well, we can hopefully cut short ideas of experimentation and substance abuse. Again, not a guarantee, but another way to help.
Some of the best moments in our family have come from shared time around the dinner table. In this busy world we live in, your post is a wonderful reminder of the importance of keeping up this tradition. Right on!
Hi Sherie,
That is wonderful that you have those special memories. I hope this tradition will continue on so children growing up today will feel that benefits. Thanks for stopping by.
Cathy, I love that you’ve made it your mission to help American families “change the way they do business”. The great thing about making this decision as parents early on – your kids will never know what eating in front of the TV or in their rooms is an option. I really agree with you and support the ceremony of the family dinner. What a great way to touch base after hours apart. Thanks.
Hi Amy,
So true. When you set the habit early on, the other options will not be available. Thanks so much for stopping by and leaving a comment!
I am so grateful that we have family dinners with my kids, it is so important to sit together and talk about the day. It’s a great way to connect.
Hi Sherry,
Glad to hear that you enjoyed family dinners. Even if they don’t express it early on, kids appreciate the positive connection time with their parents. Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment.
Cathy, I cannot agree with you more! It was a priority that I made when I had my first child, and something that we did as a family when I was growing up. Something so simple, and look at the amazing statistics! I loved reading this!! Sharing!
Hi Karen,
Great that you have found this to be a tradition in your home as a child, and now as an adult. The statistics are definitely in favor of the family dinner, but what is also important is how you spend that time. Communicating openly and discussing the importance of making healthy choices are important to do on a regular basis. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
I loved family dinners when my kids were growing up. Even with two autistic sons, we kept this family ritual. On Friday nights, we had a variation. Pizza eaten in front of TV watching a movie we all picked out together. Other than Fridays, phones and TV were off or ignored during dinner.
Hi Galen,
That sounds great. We did the Friday night pizza as well. Families just need to decide what works best for them. Take care.
Great post, Cathy. Having dinner with my family was important growing up. I love the statistics that truly show just how important this is to the health of everyone involved. Thanks so much!
Hi Lisa,
Glad that you enjoyed the experience growing up. It does seem to be an important experience. Thank you for stopping by and leaving a comment.
Really important stuff, Cathy.
We’ve always made it a point to sit down together as a family for the evening meal. It’s a wonderful time to catch up on everyone’s day and talk about the good and the less than good stuff. Having the ability and transparency to help each other with opinions and problem solving is a clear demonstration to kids that their parents are interested as well as wanting to be involved in their lives. That’s vitally important for them to recognise the family unit is strong AND they matter.
Only issue we have now is my step-son’s questions about Haldren Colliders and questions about Space Travel Propulsion hahaha – that’s a good one to have though.
Hi Martin,
That is wonderful that you have regular family dinners, and that you recognize the importance. We can learn so much about our kids and what they are into even if we find it challenging or amusing. You make a good point. It lets our kids know that we care enough to spend the time with them. Take care.
Great post, Cathy! Didn’t have them regularly as a child myself so I’m making extra sure that my kids get them. It nurtures me as well as them and helps make up for the lack of nurturing I received growing up. I never take our mealtime together for granted and feel blessed every time!
Hi Lisa,
That is great that you see the importance of the family mealtime, even though you were missing that as a child. It think it is important for not only the children, but for the parents as well. I’m glad that you are enjoying mealtime now with your children. Thanks for stopping by. Take care.
Hi Cathy,
I just wanted to say a big thank you for writing such an important post. Firstly, it reminded me of family meals I used to have when I was a kid and this brought back some nice memories. Secondly, your post explained how important family meals are to the well being of kids. I don’t have children yet. However, I’m going to remember the importance of family meals for when I do and make sure we have them.
Hi Hiten,
I’m so glad that you have fond memories of your childhood family meals. It is an important tradition to continue, especially when there are so many other distractions for kids these days. Thanks for stopping by and your comment.
I don’t get it. Some are wondering why the social fabric of this country is disintegrating, yet those same people don’t want to look at how little time is being allocated to opportunities when ethics and values can be shared and positive modeling can take place. If the children can’t model the parents because they’re never with them, who are they going to model? Fortunately, some are still holding the line on eating together. And they’ve done it from Day One … Bravo!
I love this post1.. We have a family dinner and I think it’s sad when people don’t! I do believe that it’s important. I invented my home business so I could be with my kids and work! I love how that has helped us!
Wow, seeing a Family Day post today could not have come at a better time! I have just returned home on the red eye from LA to NY after spending my usual every other weekend with my 17 year old daughter who is in rehab. I miss her! Way back when Family Day was created, I was super involved with promoting the concept of eating dinner together as an expected means to remain connected and as a substance abuse prevention measure. My poster design for Family Day has appeared every year since throughout the county where I live. Seeing this post today, reminds me that I did not “cause” the addiction in my daughter. I can attest to the importance of the Family Dinner as often as possible. While my family did not beat the 70% odds of prevention, we are extremely close and supportive of each other. Through the addiction treatments, we remain strong and united. Whenever there is the opportunity to eat together we do even though my son is now an adult and my daughter has left for inpatient rehab several times. We love to share food, feelings and conversation. Dinner time has always been our time to remain knitted together. Whether the family dinner as often as possible can prevent substance abuse or not, it certainly has provided the nourishment to our bond as a family. It is wonderful seeing the support of this concept in this blog, especially with new moms and moms to be. Yay!!!!!
Hi Steph,
My heart goes out to you and your family with your daughter in rehab, but sounds like she is working on recovery, so that is an important positive step, as I’m sure you know. That is amazing that you are flying from LA to NY. What a commitment that is. You should be commended for going above and beyond to support your daughter during this time.
I too ate dinner regularly with my family. I had grown up that way, and thought it to be an important family tradition. But with my family as well, we did not beat the odds. I would, however, recommend to any young family to incorporate mealtime into your schedule on a regular basis. It can have a variety of benefits.
What a great contribution to be making the poster design for Family Day! I appreciate that. Thanks so much for stopping by and leaving a comment. I send my best wishes for your daughter’s recovery. Take care.
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