What is Addicted to Addicts: Survival 101?: Meet Denise Krochta

I’m pleased to share my interview with Denise Krochta!

Please introduce yourself to the reader.

My name is Denise Krochta and I am a mom, author, blogger, support coach, and radio talk show host.  Before addiction came full force into my life, I had a career in International Business and have spent a lot of time volunteering in my community, at one point heading a non-profit teen age rowing club. Like many of us, I am not one to sit if I see there is even a little something I can do to help my family or community.

Tell us about your book, Sweat and why you decided to write it.

My book “Sweat: A Practical Plan for Keeping Your Heart Intact While Loving an Addict” was written out of necessity.  I never planned to write a book and never envisioned I’d have any knowledge of this topic.

When my son became an addict, like most families dealing with this problem, our lives became driven by chaos and drama.  The only thing I could focus on was my addict and what I could do to make things better.  The rest of my family suffered as well as my own personal well-being.

After a very long time of no focus and the high daily stress level fueled by this chaos, I took a step back and realized that my son and all the other addicts in my life might very well find their way to recovery and a good life and I might be too sick or even dead to be able to enjoy them.  So, very slowly, (baby steps) I learned ways to help myself, trial and error mostly, and put together a plan for myself, for some peace and serenity while surrounded by chaos.

After awhile, my friends and others I know who are dealing with this problem also, noticed that I seemed more centered and happy.  Knowing that nothing had changed related to the drama and chaos, they wanted to know how this happened.  I began to share some of the tools I was using and finally they asked me to put it in some legible format.

I had already written down the title chapter just after it happened so I could remember the Sweat lodge experience, so I decided to use that as the anchor of my book, since, to me it represented much of went on in my life.

Why did you decide to host the radio show Addicted to Addicts: Survival 101 and start your website?

I found writing as a great way to remove myself from “a direct hit” from what was going on.  So, after I wrote my book, I continued with my blog.  It was apparent to me that people were choosing tools from the book and improving their lives and that made me feel like I was helping people, at least a little at a time. With a website I thought I could continue this help and add to it.  I began adding resources that I felt were valuable to me and others for people to choose from.  I continue my blog even now because it is therapeutic for me and helpful to others.

My website/blog seemed to get around a lot and it came to the attention of a gentleman in Chicago who owned a media company with both web based radio shows and “terrestrial radio” shows.  He was looking for someone to do a show for him on addiction, which he felt was a hot topic.  He was really looking for the show to be for the addict and recovery community, but I explained to him what I thought was the “lost” audience, and one that could be potentially much greater than the audience he was trying to attract.

No one does shows for us, the loved ones of addicts, and radio is a perfect place to do this.  And, of course, I want to do anything I can to help others to navigate through this horror with less trauma than I had and with more information, possibilities, and hope.

 Are there any particularly memorable interviews that you can tell us about?

I have done about 45 interviews so far on the show and I really believe each one offers a significant value to the audience.  Yes, there are a couple that offer a bit more drama than others, but each member of the audience chooses who and what to relate to and I think there is something in each show.

One of the most popular shows was the discussion about grandparents raising grandchildren when their adult children are addicts.  There were some useful resources given by our expert guest that helped in this situation that most of us wouldn’t have considered.

I enjoyed my discussions with Kris Kancler, aka Superstar, about his quest to enlighten young people about addiction through music.  He and his brother are identical twins, as I am with my sister, and it was interesting to listen to him talk about their bond, when one was an addict and the other was the loved one.

Each show begins with a brief background of my expert or experienced guest and I am often surprised by the story they tell as to why they are doing what they do now and how they got there. For example, I interviewed Dr. Adi Jaffe from UCLA,a research scientist and PHD in psychology, who does research on addiction.  He was an addict and served time in the penal system, yet became clean and went on to get an education and become who he is today.

There is a lot of hope in all of the shows.  For me, that is a requirement for the show to air.

At this stage, what are the top 3 things you’ve learned about addiction and/or codependency that you can share?

• Addiction can happen in any family.  
• Addiction can alter the lives of all family members not only the addict, and we must always be aware of what we are doing and how it is affecting not only ourselves and our addicts, but the others in the family who are making good choices.  
• It is important that we tell the addict that we love them and will support their good choices, but it is also important that we help them in healthy ways and not get in the way of their own responsibilities and recovery.  

What advice do you have for parents of drug addicts/alcoholics who are just coming to terms with the diagnosis or suspicion of their son or daughter’s substance abuse?

From my own experience I can offer this:

• Learn to say no.  It gets easier the more you do it.  
• Before things begin to disappear and your money seems to dissolve into mid-air, understand that an addict is capable of doing many things that, without the drugs, would be unimaginable to even them. Trust your instincts.  It is not important to give them the benefit of the doubt.  In the long run, this could save their lives.  
• Never worry about offending them. Don’t be their best friend.  You are a parent and it is important to look at the situation clearly, not with denial.  
• Don’t walk around on eggshells. Get everything out in the open at all times.  It will help your well-being and often it will make addicts feel so uncomfortable that they might even consider this all too much trouble and reevaluate their addiction.  One never knows.  

What do you enjoy doing in your free time?

I walk, walk, walk.  Wherever I am I put my walking shoes on and focus on what is around me and enjoy the day.

Because of my enjoyment during my days of international business and my college degree in foreign languages, I love to travel and meet people from around the world and learn about their customs, food, and dreams.  Again, I walk, walk, walk, all over the world.

When just hanging out, I spend time with my dog. She makes me smile.

To find out more about Denise Krochta visit Addicted to Addicts: Survivial 101.

How has addiction affected your life? Join the discussion and let us know in comments.