This is a guest post by Kelli Athas of Intercept Interventions.
Many families feel like an addict HAS to “hit bottom” before they will or can get help.
But the truth is MANY times an addict’s true bottom could be death. We describe a bottom as an acculturation of events. Your loved one may have been in and out of jail, they may have overdosed numerous times, or ended up in institutions they did not choose to go in to. For a “normal” person anyone of these events would have been enough for them to realize this life isn’t working out well. Unfortunately for an addict, these events cause them, even more, shame and guilt and they dive even deeper into their addiction to escape from those feelings of worthlessness.
If you notice the accumulation of negative and chaotic events happening closer and closer together it is probably a good time to reach out for help and get an objective point of view.
When a family comes together and makes a decision to initiate a positive change then life slowly begins to become manageable again. At that point, we take the necessary steps to find the best possible treatment and begin making a plan of action!
When we facilitate an intervention we use the addict’s devastating and chaotic behavior to show them that they have reached their bottom….but first we identify with them and let them know, “We’ve been there”, “We know that this life is a miserable existence and we are offering you your life back!” Then the addict hears the heartfelt letters from their family, they see they aren’t being judged….only loved.
This is a powerful and profound experience for EVERYONE involved. The family learns their loved one isn’t a bad person and the addict can finally begin to see that they are worthwhile.
Kelli Athas is a certified national drug and alcohol interventionist. She and her husband Nick Athas are the founders of http://Intercept Interventions.com, a program which helps families through the intervention process. Kelli is a highly sought after drug and alcohol recovery expert and works with courts, child protection services’ case managers and school administrators to mentor teens struggling with drug and alcohol addiction. Their toll-free number 877-744-3578.
What are your thoughts about intervention? Leave them in comments.
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Photo by Antonino Visalli on Unsplash
Thankfully, the new brain and addiction-related research is showing that alcoholics/drug addicts don’t have to “hit bottom” in the traditional sense, and that in fact, family members can do a great deal to “help.” Interventionists like Kelli and Nick Athas can help family members better understand why the nagging, yelling, blaming, silent treatment, deal making, cold shoulder kinds of “help” they’ve tried cannot work when a loved one has the chronic, often relapsing brain disease of addiction. Understanding the disease can go a long way to helping family members help their loved ones.
Hi Lisa,
Sometimes parents and family members just get in the way of addicts seeking recovery. It is wonderful that you are sharing the new brain and addiction-related research. More scientific information helps us all in understanding this baffling disease. Thank you.
Hi Kim,
I agree. As parents we are responsible for our own happiness and recovery and our children, or anyone suffering from addiction, is responsible for their happiness and recovery. We do need to establish our boundaries and follow through. I’ve heard so many times that the addicted person has to take responsibility for their choices. Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing your thoughts.
Intervention has a powerful impact regardless of whether the person accepts help and goes to treatment. A good intervention specialist can help family and friends come to consensus and to present a unified concern. That alone helps the family move on and stop enabling.
When we tried a formal intervention with our son, using a well-known, respected and successful organization, it did not work immediately; our son did listen to each and every letter, thanking each person for caring so much. He was stubborn – and quite opposed to the treatment options proposed – and not ready to make changes at at that time. However, a few months later, we had an informal, impromptu intervention – just mom and dad. The next morning, I handed him the phone numbers of three places that met “his criteria,” and he made the calls. Two days later, he was back in a program. Three months later, he graduated. Today, he is seven months sober, back in college part time, living at home and working part time, in addition to continuing to see his LADC counselor and a mental health therapist.
Intervention takes time, but whether formal or informal, it makes an impact.