This is a guest post by Phyllis Klein about the problems that can sometimes occur with women and drinking.
Women and drinking can lead a person to be more vulnerable to the physical consequences of alcoholism. It is important to catch a problem early.
What are the warning signs that you might have a problem with alcohol?
1. Other people express concern about your drinking.
If this is happening to you especially if the concern is coming from a close friend, family member, or partner, it is important to pay attention. Remember that your drinking friends might tell you that you have nothing to worry about. But the nature of drinking problems is the strong desire to avoid or deny and group denial can be a powerful force
2. You repeatedly tell yourself that you will limit your drinking and find that you are unsuccessful?
Include “going on the wagon” here–even if you can stop drinking for a time, that is not a sign that you are not in trouble. It is how you drink when you are drinking that points to a problem.
3. Your mood changes when you are drinking?
Sometimes women drink to self-medicate for depression. Yet, alcohol is a depressant and actually will cause your depression to get worse. Alcohol can also cause you to be angry and argumentative. Are you having more arguments with people when you are drinking?
4. You drink alone
If you are starting to crave glasses of wine with your dinner or bottles of wine before you go to sleep, this can be a sign of trouble. And although drinking may help you get to bed, it can also disrupt your sleep cycle during the night.
5. You have blackouts
Although not always a sign of addiction, blackouts are a warning sign from your brain telling you that you have had too much to drink. They are scary and can be shameful, but paying attention to them by getting information and seeking help can be invaluable.
To summarize, as a woman your body is more susceptible to the risks of too much alcohol. The Crossroads is an alcohol treatment program for women located in Maine.
This blog post lists the risks to women with serious alcohol problems as the following:
- Alcoholic women develop cirrhosis, damage to the heart muscle (i.e., cardiomyopathy), and nerves (i.e., peripheral neuropathy) after fewer years of heavy drinking than alcoholic men.
- Women develop organ damage faster, and at lower levels of alcohol consumption than men. A woman’s body generally has less water than a man’s causing their blood alcohol content to reach a higher level, faster.
- Adolescent girls who consume even moderate amounts of alcohol may experience disrupted growth and puberty. Heavy drinking in adult women can disrupt normal menstrual cycling and reproductive functions. Alcohol abuse and alcoholism can cause women to suffer from infertility, increased risk for spontaneous abortion, and impaired fetal growth and development.
I list these risks, not to scare you, but to ask, wouldn’t it be preferable to look into your drinking before it got to a point of such potential damage? If you or someone who loves you is concerned about your drinking, getting help can feel really hard. Yet, there are many ways to reach out without being judged.
If you have questions, reaching out through telephone, email, or helpful internet forums is a good idea. Remember that no one can force you to do something you aren’t ready to do. Getting support and information can be a gentle way to begin the process of getting help.
I hope you will take the steps to start down the path of self-knowledge and recovery.
Check out this video from Lipstick and Liquor, Secrets in the Suburbs that is a good complement to Phyllis’ post.
What are your thoughts about women and drinking? Has someone’s drinking affected your life? Let us know in the comments.
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Thank you for all you are doing to help your child live a healthy life.
Such an important message, Phyllis, and your post clearly explains how alcohol can affect women differently and the warning signs there’s a problem – the video is terrific, as well. As you said, it’s not about scaring women, but empowering them to change by giving them this important information.
Thanks, Lisa for your comment and appreciation for my post. Your comment led me to explore your interesting and informative website. Thanks for the great work you are doing.
Best wishes, Phyllis Klein
Thank you Phyllis. How true it is that the younger folks are not the only ones who are self-medicating with alcohol. Thank you so much for bringing that out so beautifully!
I appreciate you making that connection, Leslie.
In looking at the video that Cathy paired with my post, I noticed the comment that women are looked at more harshly for having drinking problems than men are. I think it’s important that we remember that when thinking about women and drinking. This seems to be a double standard no matter what the woman’s age. The aging process can be hard for women as well and sometimes can lead to using alcohol as medication.
I love seeing the women in recovery in the video who can speak out and offer support to themselves and others.
Best wishes, Phyllis Klein
Thanks for sharing these warning signs Phyllis and your post. Most of these warnings require an individual to realize they have a problem and to be observant of themselves. Does it require self-awareness and recognition for them to want to make change?
For example, if others point out you have a problem or try to help you, will that be enough? Or does it require the person suffering from the drinking problem to come to terms with it?
Hi Visnu,
Your questions are great! You point out a main problem in addiction–denial. This defense can work so well that the person can believe against a lot of evidence that there is no problem. However, denial does have gaps, and sometimes caring comments and concern from others are very helpful. It is frustrating to be worried about someone and watch them continue their destructive behavior. It can be helpful to get support and learn more about how to approach someone with a concern about their drinking. Even if they get defensive and angry it may still be more useful than it seems right at the time.
Sometimes the problem drinker will continue until there is a negative consequence such as a DUI, warning at work, or loss of a relationship. But that doesn’t mean that friends and loved ones need to wait until the person “hits bottom” as used to be the standard. Currently, there are many recommendations about how to help someone before their life is devastated.
This is an important topic and I am so glad you brought it up.
Best wishes, Phyllis Klein
Hi Vishnu,
Thought I would add a little to Phyllis excellent answer. It is important that there is an personal motivation for someone to reach and maintain long term recovery. Someone does need to finally come to terms with their drinking problem, but certainly friends and family can help.
Direct communication can be helpful. Another suggestion is to have an intervention. It can be more respectful to the person to have an intervention by invitation where the person is invited to join the intervention and knows ahead of time that it will be occurring.
A book that has been suggested often is Get Your Loved One Sober, by Robert Meyers. It gives tips on how and when to talk to your loved one about their drinking problem, as well as how to keep it as positive as possible.
Great question. Thanks for stopping by!
In my view outsiders may provoke defensiveness. “I am OK why?” a woman might reply to queries about drinking.
Hi Phyllism,
Welcome to Cathy’s blog 🙂
I agree with the others above – you surely brought up an important topic about women and drinking, which they do for various reasons as you mentioned above.
I think it’s mostly related to their depression and mood swings, besides trying to overcome their loneliness – and all of this pulls them gradually into getting addicted to alcohol.
It’s also said that alcohol affects women much more than it affects men – health-wise. It’s sometimes tough to make women understand and realize the path they have taken. However, once they know they are addicted and have a problem at hand, and are looking for a solution – half the battle is won. Acceptance is the key to any improvement.
Thanks for sharing. 🙂
BTW – I like the new clean look of your blog Cathy – seems like you’ve been working a lot on it 🙂
I am curious if a medical expert would chime in on the Dual Diagnostic questions. If a depressed Alcoholic resists meds for sobriety reasons how does that impact her mood stability vs cravings?
Dear Bonnie,
Sorry I didn’t answer your question sooner. Although I’m not a doctor, my understanding is that medicating for depression can be safely taken by people in recovery and that many women and men in recovery do take these medicines. Everyone needs to find their own way to recovery through trial and error until they get to the place that works for them.
Thanks for your comment, Harleena. I appreciate your welcome and your comments. I agree that women may drink for different reasons than men and also their negative physical responses affect the body faster than in men. And finding the road to acceptance is, as you say truly important. Sometimes this happens directly with an awakening, and sometimes through negative consequences and concern of others. It’s never too late to find recovery, although sadly, some people don’t get there, perhaps due to a deficit of resilience.
Thanks again for your input. Best wishes, Phyllis Klein
Phyllis, what an excellent post and well written as well. There is so much valuable information for any women that is suffering from an addiction to alcohol, although many think they have no problem at all and live in that world we call denial.
Keep spreading the word of Hope and you will help many people.
Thanks Mark for your kind words. Phyllis
Women in recovery must face the challenge of facing 12 Step Meetings filled with men who don’t view them as “Real Alcoholics ” to paraphrase Bill W. As such they may say to themselves “Women don’t drink like men so I don’t have a real problem with drinking”. Until they are in the detox unit. Then the stigma of meetings with men as “sexual threats” real or imagined vs court or treatment mandated attendance complicates compliance. Until CDPs and MH pros discuss this quagmire we are in a deadly catch 22 for alcoholic women at all DSM levels.
http://cougarblogger.com/2014/07/08/never-call-yourself-an-alcoholic-or-addict/
Thank you for sharing your link.