This is a guest post by my daughter.
I read a variey of different blogs online, a lot of them having to do with living healthy lifestyles.
One blog I like is Operation Beautiful.
The concept was developed by one blogger, Caitlin, who began sticking Post-It notes on the mirrors of public bathrooms with little messages like “You are beautiful!” and “You are amazing just the way you are!”
She took pictures of the “You are Beautiful” notes and posted them on her healthy living blog and the project took off!
Women from all over began posting notes in bathrooms, bookstores, grocery stores, gym locker room, pretty much anywhere. Operation Beautiful became its own website and now Caitlin just published the Operation Beautiful book. The idea has been really successful and its been really fun to follow the blog and it’s success.
I think Operation Beautiful is trying to achieve something that is really hard in our society — promoting positive self-esteem in girls. Even with the best parents, friends and teachers growing up, it is hard to ignore the internal pressure telling you to look and be a certain way.
I never remember anyone specifically telling me I wasn’t pretty, cute, smart or talented. In fact, I remember my parents always telling me that those things were true!
Regardless I still had those handful of years that I felt uncomfortable in my own skin. I’m sure it played a role in my later addiction, drugs being a way to give me a false confidence and euphoria. They also caused me to lose weight, enabling me to think I found a “quick fix” to my problems.
In reality, I may have shed a few pounds, but I probably look 100 times worse than before with my new, poor complexion and pale skin.
Years later I can honestly say I am a very different girl than I was between the ages of 15-20. I wake up (almost!) everyday happy with my life and the things I have accomplished. Getting an education and doing well at my jobs helped with my self-esteem more than anything in the past.
Unfortunately though, I still have those days where my clothes don’t fit right, I hate my haircut, I wish I wasn’t so pale, and so on. It’s hard to imagine have ZERO days like that, and because most days I wake up happy and content, they become easier to get through. I have to give so much credit for my new perception of myself on my journey through recovery.
You learn how to live a better way — without constantly hurting the people around you and you actually start to like who you are.
I was really excited to see a book like Operation Beautiful, where people spread self-confidence around and in return gain some of their own. I have yet to read it, but think it would be a great choice for any teen or pre-teen girl to read.
Did you feel beautiful growing up? How can we make young women feel beautiful and have self confidence? Share your thoughts and ideas in comments.
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I loved this blog! I can remember feeling that way! But your right recovery brings us a long way and we develop into someone new! I have several new young women in my AA group and I am going to give them this reading! Thank you,Jan
Hi Jan,
I appreciate you sharing your thoughts and for your kind words. As women, we all can support each other, and remember that we can love and accept ourselves just the way we are. Thank you for passing along the post! Take care.
Nice post Cathy, more so as it’s written by your daughter!
Yes indeed, Operation Beautiful seems like a nice way to make ourselves feel beautiful by doing the things you just mentioned. I guess these small things are the reminders that help us look within ourselves, which otherwise we tend to ignore.
With our busy lives, who really has the time to compliment us, except for our near and dear ones. And they surely do make us feel special, and it’s at the other times these cute reminders do wonders for your self-esteem and confidence.
I was fortunate to be pretty looking so never had the problem of not looking beautiful and have always been showered with compliments from everyone. But yes, for those wishing to gain their confidence, I think just looking at yourself in the mirror whenever possible, make it a ritual to tell yourself that you are beautiful indeed….and that beauty isn’t just skin deep – it goes way down below – isn’t it? So, even if you don’t look beautiful – remember you are beautiful within, which is what matters most.
Thanks for sharing and reminding all of us about our beauty. 🙂
Hi Harleena,
So many young women and girls feel the pressure of having to conform to look a certain way. They can lose who they really are because they don’t feel valued. It is not such an issue for “beautiful women,” they may have an easier time. Yet even “beautiful women” may feel they are valued only for their looks and not for their brain power.
I’m glad that you received validation growing up and as an adult. It does go way down to feeling beautiful within – well said. Thank you for stopping by!
What is her name, Cathy? What a lovely post by your beautiful daughter (I am sure she is). God bless you, her Mama.
As she says, we all go through days when nothing seems right. I think feeling beautiful or even believing we are has to do with our mental state.
Which brings me to believe that when we are happy, we feel beautiful.
I hope to see more of your daughter here, Cathy. Love and hugs, Vidya
I’m not posting her name on this post, because she has asked to remain anonymous for now, and I want to respect her wishes. Unfortunately that is part of the stigma of addiction.
I agree that our mental state can have so much to do with it. If we are feeling confident and our self esteem is in a good place, we feel beautiful. Feeling happy ties in as well – that’s a good point. Thank you Vidya!
Good. It occurred to me just after I posted the comment, perhaps there is a good reason and maybe I should not have asked 🙂
Still, I’d like to repeat that her soul shines through warmly in this post. I wish her all the best. Your posts are always very inspiring and for me, often very educative. You’re doing such great work, Cathy.
Thank you – have a great weekend!
Hi Vidya,
No worries, that is fine. Many of the young people that go through recovery want to move on. It is painful to relive that time in their lives. Even though she is doing well now, I know she holds a special place in her heart to all the people that helped her reach recovery. She has some very close friends that she met in her program, and I’m sure there is much gratitude on her part for the change that she experienced.
I wanted to write my blog to reach out to the other parents in this situation or anyone who has addiction enter their lives. My daughter is very supportive, but is happy letting the blog be my thing, contributing once in awhile.
Thank YOU and take care.
Beautiful Cathy. Love this post from your daughter…and the idea of the site. Our dominant thoughts begin to take hold in our consciousness and support the image we want to have of ourselves. The post it notes are a great way to persist in affirming our beauty or our greatness or success, or whatever we want to see ourselves as being.
Absolutely fabulous. And what a happy outcome for your daughter. 🙂
Elle
xoxo
Hi Elle,
Thank you for your kind words. What we focus on manifests itself. If we feel happy, confident, proud, beautiful that is what we convey to others and our life consequently falls into a better place. Caitlin, who started Operation Beautiful had a brilliant idea and it has just grown.
Young women, especially need to know they are beautiful not necessarily for their looks, but for what they have inside including their smarts, kindness and contribution to those around them.
Take care and thank you for sharing your thoughts.
Hi Cathy,
I thought your daughter’s post was amazing. By the time I had finished the post, I was feeling truly inspired. It seems she has been through so much in her life and has done brilliantly to overcome problems.
From a male perspective, it is so obvious the pressures women face to look and act in certain ways. As a guy though, I’m aware how much low self-esteem can impact one’s life. When I was younger, I would look in the mirror in the morning and would hate what I saw. However, as your daughter experienced, by working on our confidence and our inner selves, life magically starts to become fun, and the face we see in the mirror in the morning, is an increasingly happy one.
Hi Hiten,
Thank you for your kinds words. I do feel it stems from feeling good about ourselves. I’ve gone through periods in my life as well when I was less than happy with what I saw in the mirror. That is the beauty of having some life experience. You learn that you can be strong. As our confidence builds, our feeling about ourselves can change for the better, and we understand what is really important. Thanks for stopping by!
Just a quick note to say how much I enjoyed this article by your daughter. Young women need more support now than ever. My intention is to get a regular support group going at Next Steps For Women for this age group. Over the past summer we had a successful 2-week workshop facilitated by twenty-somethings, Mackenzie Studebaker and Krista Durbin entitled, Holistic Wellness & Yoga for Teens. They, like your daughter, shared how difficult middle and high school were, how difficult it was to overcome the negative messages and how they imagined that if they had a “women’s circle” to go to for support on a regular basis, how their teen lives might have been different and better. It’s hard to believe that life issues around Self, Relationships, Sexuality & Spirituality for women hasn’t improved that much over the decades. Thanks again for You Are Beautiful–maybe the title of the support group at Next Steps For Women–with your daughter’s permission of course.
Hi Shelley,
I love this idea! You have such an amazing space at Next Steps and a support group for young women could make a huge difference in their lives. Just being in a safe place to share their feelings and know that they are not alone would be so empowering. Mackenzie and Krista’s group sounds so great as well and I’m sure it was a benefit to the attendees. Lots of good ideas! I know my daughter would be happy if you used that title for the support group. Thank you for your thoughts and ideas! Take care.
This is an amazing post — so full of wisdom, hope and the change that’s possible with recovery. I will do everything I can to raise awareness about Operation Beautiful and thank your daughter for sharing her story and bringing this blog to our attention.
Hi Lisa,
Thank you for your kind words. It is an amazing website and great support for young women to know they have support in this form. With her book and website it gives a message that women have power. We just need to remember it’s there. Take care.
I love the concept of ‘Operation Beautiful’ and have stuck my own heart shaped post it notes on mirrors here and there after reading about it a year or so ago.
This is courageous post . . . no one can “make” someone feel beautiful. I believe the biggest gift you can give is love and support.
Just before my 19th birthday (decades ago) I was a passenger on a motorcycle that was broad-sided. The impact site was my left leg. Because of a compound fracture I lost 2″ of my leg and have a gaping wound where skin barely covers my ankle bone. After many months of touch and go, surgeries and physical therapy I was healed but emotionally scarred. My mom and I were chatting one day and she asked me “if you could be anyone who would you be?” I named Kathrine Ross, a movie star I admired. When I asked my mom who she wished she was like she said, “you.” She said this without hesitation and without sympathy. She saw me as a strong, beautiful young woman who overcame great odds and came out the other side still able to laugh and make other people feel good about themselves (what she expressed to me). I can’t tell you how that impacted my soul . . . it’s been nearly 40 years and I remember that moment like it just happened.
My mom didn’t make me feel beautiful, she reminded me that I am a beautiful person and that meant more to my emotional and physical healing than anything else I did to recover.
Best of luck on your journey . . . thank you for sharing so honestly with us. xxoo
Hi Vegan Mama,
I appreciate you sharing your story. You mother understood your true value., which is what every young women needs to hear. I’m glad you survived your accident. That sounds like a challenging recovery.
Feeling beautiful, like anything else comes from within and we cannot make someone feel anything they are not ready for. As you mention, love and support can be powerful, as well as reminders along the way to love yourself for who you are.
Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts.
What a beautiful post from your daughter. She seems very courageous, but I can tell she’s been through a lot.
Hi Missy,
She is a strong person, so I believe she has learned and grown from her life experiences. Thank you for stopping by!
I love Operation Beautiful. It’s a nice reminder but in the end we all need to think of ourselves as beautiful and until we do not much else will work. Until our culture stops worshipping youth and a certain body type it will remain difficult but not impossible. Something I’ll work on until the day I die. Beauty on the inside counts more but you’d never know that if you were an alien dropped on earth. Nice post.
Hi Tess,
Young women and women in general are pressured from society to look and act a certain way. We do need to love ourselves from inside out. You are right, until we do, it is challenging to move forward in our life. My hope is that the tide will turn on this one, so that young women aren’t feeling the need to self medicate to ease their pain. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and take care!
Cathy….what a heartfelt post by your daughter. I had never heard of Operation Beautiful….what a spontaneous, fantastic idea. Talk about offering support and creating community. When your daughter described it, the word that kept on going through my mind was ‘love’.
I don’t know the answer to her question. I remember from the age of 15 on how I and my friends were obsessed with our weight…which in hindsight is bizarre. My daughter was so traumatized in middle school and high school that it took her several years to get over it. The eating disorders, getting high, etc. were out of control.
I love your daughter’s post. The best news is how she feels about herself today. You and she have done a great job…together. With admiration, Fran
Hi Fran,
So many of our daughters have gone through this image issue throughout middle school and high school. I know boys have their challenges as well, but the focus is not so much on how they look. It is sad that the girls have to suffer this way and feel such confusion and anxiety.
My daughter is doing well today. She continues to enjoy her life and live how she was meant to. She has done all the work, but her experience has changed both of our lives.
Your daughter mentioned, “I wake up (almost!) everyday happy with my life and the things I have accomplished.” This is a great accomplishment. It really shows she has become comfortable in who she is. This is a state I’m currently looking to get to myself. When you have lived with addiction for over two decades, it’s hard to be happy on a regular basis because there is an inner demon eating away at your happiness. Then there is the over critical side of me that won’t let me be satisfied in whatever I accomplish. However, when I beat this addiction after so many years. I’m surely going to be excited about what I have accomplished in life.
Hi Artison,
Time is helpful, I would imagine in this area. When you let go of the addiction and work on building a meaningful life for yourself, the demons slowly peel away and happiness has a chance to emerge. I’m sure it is a daily challenge for anyone in this situation, but well worth the effort to build a life with inner peace. Best of luck to you in your journey.
Sweet post. Operation Beautiful is a great idea. We definitely need more resources and projects like that around the world for women.
Having always been the tallest girl in my class throughout my youth, I never felt particularly attractive. I was sort of the awkward duckling. I was always glad to leave my high school days behind, but of course I look back on certain things fondly.
I can’t imagine what is like for teens today to grow up today in the age of social media where everything is posted and tweeted in real time. It is definitely an aspect that I am glad did not exist when I was in high school.
How old is your daughter Cathy? She has written a wonderful post and some words touched me deeply as where she said that ‘I never remember anyone specifically telling me I wasn’t pretty, cute, smart or talented. In fact, I remember my parents always telling me that those things were true!’
It reminds me of my dad who always used to say that I am the prettiest girl in the world 🙂
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Really you are beautiful. I liked this post and feel happy to read the unique post. Thanks.
Welome! Glad that you enjoyed it, Lisa! Thanks for stopping by!