It would be so amazing if our kids could grow to be adults with a clear mind that was free of drugs.
They would be so much more prepared to take on the world and create a life for themselves.
Drug use is preventable.
We know many factors can add to a person’s risk for substance use.
After providing the basic needs for your child, there are ways in which you can help protect your child from early drug use.
There is no perfect parenting recipe for raising drug-free kids. It just doesn’t exist, as every situation is different.
My hope is that sharing tips from those who have been down this path with their kids is a good starting point.
It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men. ~ Frederick Douglass
Here are some ideas to help you as a parent protect your child from using drugs.
- Communicate. Talk often to your children about the risks of drug use.
- Listen. Be a good listener when your children talk about the pressure they feel, and be supportive of their efforts to resist it.
- Set a good example. Don’t abuse alcohol or drugs. Children of parents who abuse drugs are a greater risk of drug addiction.
- Work on the relationship with your children. A strong, stable bond between you and your teen will reduce your teen’s risk of using or abusing drugs.
- Sit down for a regular family dinner. There is power in this kind of habit that anchors a family and protects children from all types of harm.
- Be clear on your expectations. Communicate clearly what you expect and stick with your consequences.
- Treat your children with respect. No matter what your children do or don’t do, treat them with respect.
- Teach your children. Children who learn about the risks of drugs and alcohol from their parents are less likely to use than those who do not.
- Know your child’s risk level. Genetics can be a risk factor in becoming addicted to drugs or alcohol. Know your child’s genetic risk and explain to them the importance of being extra vigilant.
- Understand the 5 risk factors. Help your teen understand the risk factors for developing a substance use problem. Five risk factors are early use, genetics, mental health issues, childhood trauma, or ACEs (adverse childhood experiences), as well as the environment.
- Have a conversation with your children. Having a conversation rather than a confrontation helps to keep a strong relationship with your child.
- Set boundaries. Make it clear that you do not want your child to drink or use drugs.
- Keep connected. Know your children’s friends and make it a point to meet their parents. Stay involved in their world.
- Be aware. Know where and who your child is with.
- Be proactive. Check backpacks, pockets, garbage cans, cars, closets, under beds for empty wrappers, and other evidence of drug use.
- Be a parent. Teen years are challenging. Your child needs a parent, not a pal.
- Don’t be in denial. Don’t assume that substance abuse happens in other people’s families. It is an epidemic and can happen to your family too.
- Keep tabs on your personal prescription drugs. If you have prescription medicine in your home, know where it is, count the pills, and keep them locked away.
- Tune into your teens’ behavior. Notice if your teen is changing peer groups and if their physical appearance is changing.
- Support their activities. Attend as many of your child’s activities as possible. Find ways for your non-athletic child to shine.
- Notice your teen’s emotional state. Do they seem to have a lack of self-esteem, or are they becoming uncooperative or defiant?
- Keep control of the alcohol in your home. Teens admit that alcohol is easy to find in the home. Keep your liquor unavailable to your teen.
- Encourage your child to be independent in an appropriate way. Helicopter parents can be problematic, so allow your teen to be independent in a healthy way that encourages their confidence, but maintains their safety.
- Have your teen sign a contract. Have your teen sign a contract never to drink and drive from Students Against Drunk Driving. (SADD)
- Handle your own stress in a healthy way. You send a message to your children when they observe how you handle the challenges in your life. Be healthy when facing your own stress.
- Be consistent. Set boundaries, rules, and consequences and be consistent.
- Don’t be afraid to parent. Your teen needs you now, more than ever to be their parent and help them safely get through their teen years.
- Remain calm. As your child raises their voice, lower yours, and remain calm.
- Safety first. Remind your children that the most important thing is their safety.
- Screen Your Child. Have your teen take a five-minute computer screening test, and discuss the results with their pediatrician.
- Discuss healthy choices early. Talk to your child often starting at about age 10 to 11 in a matter of fact way about the dangers of drug and alcohol abuse.
- Learn about your child. Take the time to share your child’s interests. Learn about their hobbies and make them feel proud of their strengths.
- Plan time with your teen. Find fun things that you can do together with your teen.
- Have acceptance. Accept your children for who they are, so that their self-esteem is intact.
- Express your love. Be sure to tell your children often, how proud you are of them, and how much you love them.
Please share your thoughts about parents who are raising teens in the comments. Maybe some of these ideas will help a parent prevent a young person from early drug use.
Thank you for all you are doing to help your child live a healthy life.
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Wonderful post Cathy!
You covered everything so well in here, and I think the best we can do with our teens and kids is that we learn to talk out things with them and help them share their feelings with us, whatever they may be.
I guess when there is open discussion and communication between parents and their kids, it makes a lot of difference as they are in a position to listen to their parents and that allows us to guide them in the right direction as well.
And not to miss the fact that they need continuous love, care, attention, and understanding from our side, as well support and encouragement.
Thanks for sharing, this sure is a lovely list to keep in mind. 🙂
Hi Harleena,
Communication is really the big key. Parents have much more influence over their kids than they often realize. Talking often and openly about the dangers of drug use as well as setting boundaries and following through. Kids are under so much pressure these days from every direction, that is important to work together as a team to make it through the teens years safely. Take care.
God bless you, Cathy! This is a valuable list and I think a great resource for parents to print and keep, if only as a reminder. I am imagining how it will make the difference between happiness and sorrow. I would like to add – help them create new hobbies that could turn into passions and who knows, their career choice too! My son is fourteen and I am very conscious about this. Thank you for a wonderful post.
Wishing a fantastic week ahead,
Love, Vidya
Hi Vidya,
I so agree. Supporting your child’s hobbies and passions is vital. This is how they gain their confidence and self esteem. For kids that love sports, it is relatively easy to find a sport team in the sport of their choice. For artistic children, it can be a bit more challenging. Theater productions, art classes and similar activities can be fun and allow your child to express themselves.
Thanks Cathy,
Terrific tips as usual
be good to yourself
David
Hi David,
Thank you for the kind words!
This is a terrific post and so important, Cathy! #34, “Have acceptance. Accept your children for who they are, so that their self esteem is in tact,” jumped out for me — not that all of your sggestions aren’t equally important — but we can get so caught up trying to “help” our children that we send the subliminal messages, “I don’t think you can do this,” “I don’t think you’re smart enough,”…, which of course are never our intention or thought — we’re just “trying to help.”
Hi Lisa,
Absolutely. Parents in the efforts to help their kids do send the message that you are not smart enough to figure this out, so I need to help you. They mean well, and do not want to see their children in pain, and also want to be relieved of their own pain. So if we help our kids, we feel that pain will be gone that much more quickly. It is hard to watch our children stumble through when if they could “just follow our advice,” all would be well. I’ve been guilty of that as I’m sure many other parents too. I do notice that when I detach and get out of their way, they do much better.
Cathy,
Another great list of very important techniques. I’ll add that even when parents do everything they can right, they still don’t have the power to stop some people from falling through the cracks. That’s when I like to remember to be grateful for the dark, it’s what leads us to the light.
Hi Tess,
So true. I would like to add that you can be model parents and that is not a guarantee that your children will be abuse free. The chances are less likely though, and hopefully the recovery will come more quickly if that does end up being the case. Parents spend a lot of time blaming themselves. We did not cause the disease in our children and parents should let go of blaming themselves. At some point everyone has to take responsibility for their own lives and the choices that they make.
Thanks for sharing this list Cathy. My parents never had alcohol at home or drank when I was growing up. That was the example you talk about in #3 and it made an impact on me! I don’t drink much at all because of their example of being able to enjoy yourself without alcohol.
Hi Vishnu,
That is wonderful that your parents did not drink. That can make a huge difference for kids. Many parents do drink and I believe they can be role models as well by drinking moderately and by not using alcohol as a way to escape their problems. It is important to know that you can have fun without alcohol.
Thanks Cathy for some great advice here and very timely for me as I shall be sitting down with my 11 year old this week to discuss alcohol issues. She is due to go to High School in September and as part of her induction she will be asked at the end of this month to take a pledge to abstain from alcohol until they are 18 (which is the legal limit in UK).
I totally agree with your comment about being a parent and not a pal as I think that many parents miss the point if they start treating their children as best friends especially if it involves drink or drugs.
Carolyn Hughes – ‘Never Again!’ 5 reasons why you should never say it! http://www.myroutetohelp.co.uk/never-again/
Hi Carolyn,
It sounds like you have a good plan set for your daughter. There are so many pressures on young people these days. When parents, such as yourself, plan ahead and make drug and alcohol education part of their priorities, it helps ensure that their children make good choices. It is a worldwide problem that all of us need to be concerned about. Take care and best of luck with your daughter.
Great post!!! Thank you <3
You are so welcome!
This is a great post, having gone through this stage with two of my kids. It’s a really tough stage! I will be a better parent to our younger child during those teenage years.
Great post Cathy!
Hi Betsy,
We all do the best we can at the time. There is no easy road map for the teen years. I’m sure you were a great parent to all your boys!
Cathy, this is such a godsend to those with kids…the conversation in and of itself is powerful and helpful and your tips….well they’re just wonderful. Thank you for your insight.
Encourage one another.
Elle.
Hi Elle,
Thank you Elle. I wish I had had a list like this one when my kids were entering middle and high school. I do feel that a semi-annual or annual reminder should be sent out to parents. Take care.
This is an excellent list and something every parent should look at.
Education and communication are definitely the biggest you can do. When parents avoid talking about drugs, they get their information elsewhere. Even worse, when parents lie to their children about certain dangers, once they figure out they were lying that trust can be hard to regain.
Not condoning drugs in any way, but I’ve met youth pastors and parents who will tell their youth that they will die if they smoke marijuana. Since this isn’t true, that misinformation can be more harmful in the long run. Eventually those teenagers are going to find out they were lying and when they discover a drug that is far more harmful and dangerous, they aren’t going to believe that person as an authority on the topic because they lied to them in the first place.
The more we know, the better decision we can make.
Hi Jon,
I do believe as well that every parent should be reading this kind of list at the beginning of each school year as they learn about their child’s teachers and curriculum for the year. I hope to look into it and hope to make my list or a list similar to mine more available. Incorrect information just leads to loss of credibility. My hope is that parents, teachers and other adults in authority positions explain the truth about drug and alcohol use. The devastation of drug or alcohol abuse is bad enough. We don’t need to exaggerate it to make it worse.
The more informed parents and children are about drug and underage drinking at an early age, the better we will all do. Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment.
Good Tips. There are some new ones for me and some ones I needed to remember. I really want to help my kids side step all the troubles I have had to deal with in life. Addiction can rob people of their lives. It pains me the troubles I have put my family through in the past due to being selfish.
I’m glad that you liked the list. I wish I had had all the facts when my kids were growing up. The more we know, the better we do. If we can do as much as possible to help our kids get through those critical years, it can make a difference.
I appreciate your list, but we have passed this point and need ideas for effective consequences. Many articles talk about having consequences for breaking rules, but don’t give us good examples. Thank you.
I would add: Be aware of prescription abuse especially after surgery when pain medications are legitimately needed.
Great list, but I think a parent can have the best of intentions and still their child might abuse drugs… At that point, the parent will know they would have given their child their best effort…
I think it’s a little easier said then done.
Specially when kids are 18+ and the state makes it legal. There’s only so much a parent can do.
Hi Elly,
You are right. There is only so much a parent can do. Some parents who feel they have done everything right still have kids who use substances. However for parents of teens, the more information they have along with the realization that substance use can happen to their child, the better. Teens who learn about the risks of drugs from their parents are 50 percent less likely to experiment. It is important to talk often about drug use and to keep the lines of communication open.
Great article, you covered many suggestions that I have made to parents at my Parenting for Prevention workshops. Thanks for all you do Cathy
Hi Chris,
Great to see you here again. Glad you liked the suggestions and they are in line with what you are teaching at your prevention workshops.
I appreciate you stopping by!
Hi Cathy,
I really enjoyed reading this piece. As a parent of two small children I always wonder how I’m going to handle this topic when my children get older. My parents never had that talk with me, but this outline is very helpful and I look forward to reading more content of yours. Keep up the good work
Hi Cathy,
Nice article. I am sharing this article. Keep up the good work.
Thank you so much!