Your life may be filled with worry, and it can be hard to find peace when you are worried about your son or daughter. Some say you are only as happy as your unhappiest child.
When your child struggles with substance use, you most likely feel frustration, anger, resentment, and deep sadness.
In the same way, a beautiful day can be bittersweet for parents concerned about their child with a son or daughter who is using substances.
Any of these scenarios can be problematic for family members, especially parents.
Our brains look for the negative, so we are aware of anything that could cause harm. As substance use enters the family door, so often, all you see is negativity.
Rather than focusing only on the negative, remain calm and find ways to bring peace in your life when drug and alcohol use is front and center.
You can live and enjoy the present. You can learn to be happier by helping yourself and your child change.
When you solely focus on the negative, it can often prolong the problem. Arguments can happen. Words can be said that everyone regrets, which leaves family members feeling worse.
Dealing with substance use is not easy. But if you have forgiveness for the past, appreciation for the present, and hope for the future, peace can find its way back into your life.
Some people and events are difficult to deal with, but they can only stress us if we let them. Breathe in calm, breathe out chaos, and anchor yourself in peace. ~ Lori Deschen
Here are seven ways to help you let go of worry and find a calmer tomorrow:
Find peace by letting go of resentment and anger.
Sometimes our emotions get the better of us. When you have bad feelings and anger, you cannot help your child. The past may have been painful, but it’s behind you now.
It is time to create a better tomorrow. Take time to work through your feelings. It will give you a chance to forgive, let go of negativity, and embrace all that is going well.
When you do, you will find room to open your heart, making your future brighter and filled with love and possibility.
Look for the good
While it can sometimes feel that your life is full of negativity because of a loved one’s substance use, look for anything your child is doing well. In addition, acknowledge and reward it whenever possible.
It may feel like this is something you shouldn’t have to do, yet studies show that reinforcement can motivate your child to change. In the same way, you will feel more positive about life. Things will look brighter.
Related article: When You Feel Overwhelmed by Worry
Practice being calm, relaxed, and collected
Sometimes you have to “fake it until you make it.” When you smile often, you will feel happier. Think good thoughts. Enjoy memories of past family celebrations, yet live for today.
Even those dealing with tremendous obstacles are often still able to be present, grateful, and calm. You may be struggling, and that is understandable. When you put the time and effort into bringing peace and joy into your life, you and those close to you will feel better.
Positively talk to your loved ones.
Ask your child questions using words such as “what” or “how”. Listen to what they have to say. Appreciate what they have accomplished, even if it is baby steps. Also, ask for permission before sharing your concerns or giving information. They will be more open to hearing what you have to say.
Try not to go on and on. That is an easy way for the ears to plug up. Your child will not hear or digest your message. If you realize your child is not receptive, stop and consider a better time to talk to them.
Do something enjoyable for yourself.
You will feel better, make wiser decisions, and model healthy behavior for your child when you enjoy life. Remember to fill your bucket regularly. Don’t try to drive down the road on empty.
You are entitled to an enjoyable day, not just today but every day. Make time for yourself. Don’t be your own worst enemy; be your best friend instead. You are worth it, so take some time for self-care.
Distract yourself from worrying
Worrying doesn’t solve any problems. It just creates an unhealthier you. Find things to distract your mind. Set aside a time each day for worrying, then stop and think about something else.
Snap a rubber band on your wrist or find another way to remind yourself to return to the present rather than worrying about the future. When you realize your mind is wandering to those dark places, take a deep breath and return to the present. If everything is okay at this moment, be content with that.
Find peace by accepting what is
It is understandable to wish things were different. You are not alone with those feelings. However, family substance use is not your fault.
Keep positive feelings flowing, and know there is hope for your child. When you face the reality of your situation, the process of finding solutions becomes real. You open up possibilities for healing.
Start the journey toward a better tomorrow. You can have a happier life. Allow yourself to live your life and feel joy.
Bring peace to your life.
Thank you for reading. You can get more tips in my email newsletter. Every other week, I share tips and ideas to help parents motivate their son or daughter to change if they are struggling with substance use. Join us by entering your email now.
