Nobody can bring you peace but yourself. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
Freedom is something that we hold dear.
Inner freedom and peace of mind are valuable and should be cherished just as much.
Those who can let go of the negative thoughts and focus on what is going well in their life will have more peace of mind.
Do you ever feel imprisoned by the thoughts that keep circulating your mind?
We often worry, stress, and feel anxious because it’s easier than learning to look for the positive. The thing is that being anxious or worrying 24/7 about your situation doesn’t do anything to change it.
Your life is priceless. How many hours, months, and years do you want to spend worrying about something?
The video, The Time You Have Left (In Jelly Beans), puts our free time in a stark perspective. Do you want to spend the time you have left worrying, especially when worry doesn’t make things better?
You may be worried about your current situation, family, or child. Educate yourself on what you can do, take action, and see what happens.
Make time each day to let go and strive for inner freedom and peace.
To continually worry and be anxious is not good for your health. It disrupts your sleep patterns. Too much worrying can cause more frequent colds and sometimes more severe health issues.
We all want freedom and inner peace. You can find space from worry and discover inner peace if you set your mind to it.
Freedom is from within. ~ Frank Lloyd Wright
Here are some tips to get you started:
- Even though you are worried, do your best to live in the now. When you feel pain and suffering, let go of being focused on the future or the past. Live as much as you can in the present.
- Choose a time of the day to think about your concerns. Keep it far enough away from bedtime so that it will not keep you up at night. Focus on your concerns for a set time, and then try to let them go for the rest of the day.
- Write down your worries as the thought enters your mind. Save your list for the time you have allotted to consider the issues.
- Keep a daily journal. Write three pages a day or set a timer for an allotted time. Write down whatever comes into your mind. Keep the pen moving while you are on the clock.
- Take a walk. Use this time to enjoy nature. Ideas, solutions, and calming inner peace may come your way.
- Have compassion for yourself. Setting aside time to treat yourself with love and kindness does help with change.
- Focus on the positive. Make a conscious effort to look for positive things during the day. You can appreciate those positive moments. Write them down in your journal.
- Keep a gratitude list. Write down three or even ten things you are grateful for each day. It will make you feel better. You will remember that some things are going right in your life.
- Find a time to reflect and be alone with your thoughts during the day. It’s helpful to carve out time for reflection.
- If you have time, volunteer. By helping others, you not only support someone else, but you fill yourself up with good feelings.
- Take one day at a time. Focus on getting through today and leave the future for tomorrow. Change begins with baby steps.
- Count your blessings. No matter how stressed you feel at the moment, remind yourself about all that you do have.
- Do something fun. Treat yourself well. Love yourself as you want others to love you. You deserve it. Bring new things into your life. It will make you feel better.
- Trust your instincts. You will hear many opinions and thoughts about what you should do to help your child change. Listen to what your body is telling you. The answers are inside if you listen.
- Reach out to others in the same situation. Find someone who has walked in your shoes or a group with who you can share your feelings. Don’t isolate. It isn’t healthy.
- Take some time during the day to meditate while you focus on your breathing. Breathe in. Breathe out. You will feel more calm and centered.
- Embrace an uncertain future. Accept that the future is unsure and some things are out of your control. Focus on what you can control.
- Repeat your concerns out loud over and over in the mirror. Let your emotions run their course until you are ready to move on.
- Remember, most of the things that you worry about the most never happen. The “what ifs” that cycle through your mind are usually far worse than reality. Let those go and focus on something positive.
- Be generous with your smiles. When you are laughing or smiling, it makes you feel better. Even if you have to fake it, make an effort to smile. Reach out to others in loving kindness.
- Exercise daily. Walk, run, take a class, or practice yoga. Find something that you enjoy. It will help you feel calmer and find inner peace.
- Know that you are not alone. There are many suffering from the same issues that you have. Knowing that others have the same issues helps you not feel so isolated.
- Find your strength. When faced with adversity, you need to dig deep and find your strength. Most likely, you have more strength than you ever imagined. Knowing how much strength you have will help you have the self-confidence to handle whatever comes your way.
- Educate yourself. You may feel weak and powerless because you are not informed. There are many resources available around substance use and addiction. When you educate yourself, you will have more knowledge, which will help you feel more in control.
- When your child exhibits risky behavior, life may not make sense to you anymore. You can encourage your child to change. You may not have all the answers, but you are doing your best.
- Be comfortable with not knowing. You cannot predict the outcome of every situation. You can find freedom when you accept that you can help your child, yet you cannot do the work for them.
- Understand your values. Realizing who you are and what you value most can give you the wisdom and insight to face any situation. When you are clear on your values, you will be better able to be a role model for your child.
- Let go of expectations. You may have ideas and thoughts about how you thought life for your child would unfold. When things take a major detour, you need to accept what is to maintain your inner peace.
- Don’t wallow in your misery. Let go of your story. Things may not be going how you planned. Don’t add more to the situation by submerging yourself in how miserable you feel. It does not make the pain go away. Your mind remains imprisoned in the negativity.
- Know that there is hope. Every situation is temporary. Peaks and valleys fill our lives. You may be in the valley right now, but the peak may be just ahead. Hang on to hope for your child.
True freedom and the end of suffering is living in such a way as if you had completely chosen whatever you feel or experience at the moment. ~ Eckhart Tolle
For more information:
1. If you have further questions, please get in touch with me here to set up a FREE consultation.
2. Check out Regain Your Hope, a video course that gives you an action plan to help your child. Know that your child can change.
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Thank you for reading!
Note: This article was first published on January 28, 2018. It was updated on January 5, 2022.
What a wonderful post, Cathy! Truly, peace and happiness come from within. Here’s one I always follow, no matter what: “Be generous with your smiles. When you are laughing or smiling, it makes you feel better. Reach out to others in loving kindness.”
Big hugs. Bookmarking this post!
Hi Vidya,
I know you are all around happy person, so I don’t imagine that will be too hard. Smiling and reaching out to others is the key for me as well. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Dear Cathy,
An excellent post with several good reminders. But the one strategy I had NEVER heard of is to choose a time of day to think about your worries. I’m going to implement that this afternoon – what an efficient and creative way of focusing on it. Thank you! Fran
Hi Fran,
I like that one as well. It gives you time to think about the issues with boundaries, so it doesn’t drain your whole day. I know I need to practice that as well. Thanks for stopping by.
This is a fabulous list. I, too, defer my worries, setting a future date or time to engage in them. Sometimes- I forget to get back to them! Using techniques like “what is the worst that could happen” also allows my mind to sometimes find the ridiculous in my fears. I love having this list. It is something i can refer to when i get so wound up that I can’t find my own internat resources.
Hi Kyczy,
It does help me to notice when I’m worrying unnecessarily and to get sucked into all the what ifs. It will be a lifelong venture for me, but so worth the effort. Appreciate you sharing your thoughts.
This is a fantastic list, Cathy – thanks for sharing!! I especially liked numbers 2, 3, 12, 18 and 26 and of course, #25, Surrender….
Hi Lisa,
Surrender to what we cannot control is a lesson that took me awhile to process, but it can life such a burden off your shoulders when you do work to let it go. Thanks!
Fabulous list Cathy. I’ve never set a certain time of day to worry, but I have given myself a limit of half an hour…trouble was…I ran out of worries before I ran out of time…so I had to keep shortening it!
As for inner peace, I think your first one about living in the now is a surefire way for me to feel peaceful. As soon as I say to myself ‘be here now’ I’m more aware of all the sounds and sights and feelings that surround me and it’s always wonderful.
Love Elle
Hi Elle,
I find that living in the moment helps me as well. When I start to think too much about the future or revert to the past, I too remind myself to just live for today. Take care!
Cathy I just read what you said & the comments of other’s. I really don’t know if this is something that can help me though. My 30 year old is living with my 81 year old mother. He can’t keep a job & tears up every vehicle he’s owned. It’s NEVER HIS FAULT! YET HE CONTINUES TO POINT HIS FINGER AT EVERYBODY ELSE & ACCUSES EVERYBODY ELSE. He NEVER OWN UP TO HIS MISTAKES. My mother gives him money & babies him. He’s very manipulative, emotionally & mentally abusive. I’m at the top of the mountain hoping to find a cliff. I’m unable to continue watching him & listening to his filthy verbally abusive ways!!!!
I’ve called out for help but no one answers. He continues to chisel at me & he sees HUMOR in it. I’ve turned him over to the Lord. YET he’s still chiseling away at me.
A mother that’s tried for many many year’s to help him. Just to fail again. There’s nothing left chisel. I merely exist & my life is worn, tattered & frailed.
Hi Shirley,
I would do what you can to help yourself if you feel you can’t help your son right now. I know this is so hard and emotionally exhausting when your son is struggling and in denial about his substance use. Do have compassion for yourself and remind yourself that you are going through a hard time. I wish you the best going forward.
Shirley,
I understand your situation, as I have been on that same cliff. Please try to understand your son has learned how to “play” the codependent game and maybe it is time for TUFF LOVE. Cut him off completely but, let him know when he is ready for help and rehab you will be there and not until.
It has worked with our son but, only years after being strong within ourselves and TUFF with him.
There is a bright sky on that cliff you are on so look up and smile. Things will change if you change how you let him effect you.
Best of luck and wishing you the strength to get off that cliff today!
Our son came home one day….he has now been sober for over 18 months. Hang in there good things will come.
I like and use number 8.
Every day i write down 3 things I am grateful for. Love your list 30 great. And ending with number 30 is a great ending. Yes, everything is temporary and I always tell myself the sun is going to rise tomorrow, so no worries.
Thanks Cathy for the reminder
Debbie
Hi Debbie,
That is wonderful that you write down three things that you are grateful for. A gratitude list helps me as well. Just that continued reminder that there are many good things in our life can be helpful. Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing your thoughts.
Cathy,
I love your tips! And this one is my favorite because I tend to forget that life goes on. silly me;)
Know that there is hope. Every situation is temporary. Our lives are filled with peaks and valleys. You may be in the valley right now, but the peak may be just ahead.
Hi Tess,
When we are in the midst of any situation and trying to deal with it, it can feel that our life will never be the same. It is unfortunate that we can’t stay with the happy moments indefinitely, but the upside is that it is comforting to know that the challenging times are temporary as well.
I enjoyed your tips particularly; tip #7, #12, #13, #16 and #30. I remember a time when I was a worry wart. I could not stop fretting over issues especially when my children came.
Meditation helps. I like to also introduce more laughter in order to break tension. In the moment of laughter, my energy would have shifted.
Hi Evelyn,
I love laughter – great addition. I too was less of a worrier until my children arrived. I’m sure that is typical of many parents. Meditation is a wonderful tool that can calm us down, bring us into the present moment and bring us to inner peace.
Thanks Cathy, I love your list, and it is certainly hard to find a favorite here. The one that strikes me today however is ‘Be comfortable with not knowing’. So hard to do, but so freeing when it can be done. Being comfortable with not knowing requires us to let go of worrying about what might be coming, and helps us focus on the now. Good stuff!
Hi Leslie,
I like that one is well. When our life takes a detour that we were not planning on, we can easily become very stressful, especially if it concerns our children. Doing what we can to resolve the situation, and then letting go of the outcome is the goal. Always a process for most, as there is no easy fix. When we accept that we can’t control the future, it helps us be more at peace.
Cathy, thanks for the list, I will be sharing it with others. The more I work with those seeking recovery the more I have come to believe that so much depends on number 1, bringing ourselves into the moment and staying there!
Hi Roger,
Welcome! I find as well that living in the moment and staying there can be so helpful to those in recovery and family members that are healing. It brings us back to the present and helps with regrets from the past and worries about the future. Thanks so much for sharing the list and for stopping by. Take care.
Cathy,
This is a wonderful posts with great ideas on how to find peace! I love the gratitude list and the volunteering. This is definitely worth printing out.
Thanks!
Glad you like the post. Thanks so much, Betsy.
A posting after my own heart! Thanks for this list. Everyone should be able to find something here to make their day better.
Thanks Denise! Hopefully there will something that gives someone a little hope. Great to see you here! Take care.
I agree with everyone Cathy, wonderful post and what a list.
As you know I live alone and have no children. I guess in that respect since it worked out that way that I’m blessed because I have no worries.
I learned from Eckhart Tolle’s teachings years ago to stop worrying about things you have no control over. I know, easier said then done but I live for the most part in the present moment and I seriously don’t worry about a lot of stuff. I know it’s taken care of and that everything will be okay.
I’ve followed some of what you’ve shared here but my goodness, not all by any means but they are great tips for those who just might need a little of this kind of advice so thank you for that.
Have a beautiful weekend.
~Adrienne
Hi Adrienne,
Your spirit comes through your writing. It is clear that you are filled with joy and that your life is good. This list for me is definitely goals to strive for on any given day. I have learned so much from Eckhart Tolle’s teachings and his books were the beginning of a shift in thinking for me. His work came to me at a time when I was more than ready for a change. Your enthusiasm is contagious, so thanks for all that you are doing!
Cathy,
I can’t help but think of the Maryanne Williamson piece about our not being afraid of failing, but being afraid of succeeding.
A list like this goes a long way to replace some of my pesky defaults to not-so-great thinking. “it’s hard to be hateful when I’m grateful” requires practice! and you’ve given me a wonderful document to place on my personal alter.
Here’s to transforming these great suggestions into a regular practice.
Thank you!
Hi Herby,
I love that piece by Maryanne Williamson as well. I feel that it works for anyone, but fits so well with this topic. Gratitude has certainly worked for me. It is that shift in thinking that can make the difference. The next step is to definitely walk the walk. I know it will be a continual lifelong process for me. Take care!
Love this list, Cathy. Printed it and will most likely refer to it a lot. Thank you.
Glad you liked the list Anne-Sophie. Thanks so much for stopping by!
Excellent tips, Cathy – I’m going to share them on my FB page right now!
Thank you, Candace!
These are great tips – thank you! Xx
Dear Cathy,
Excellent post. I always believe in simplicity. Everyone should follow these tips to become happy in life.Thanks.
Thank you, Nitin.
I appreciate you stopping by, Kirsten!