Tragedy and Resilience After a Drunk Driving Accident

Drunk driving is still the number #1 cause of death on our roadways.

According to the CDC, “Every day, 29 people in the United States die in motor vehicle crashes that involve an alcohol-impaired driver. This is one death every 50 minutes. The annual cost of alcohol-related crashes totals more than $44 billion.”

Kelly Schaefer’s life was permanently altered because of a drunk driver.

“Look at me now, “I said. “I can’t brush my own teeth or comb my hair. One person did this. One person who chose to drink and drive.” ~ Kelly Schaefer

Fractured, Not Broken, written by Kelly Schaefer with M. Weidenbenner, tells the story of how one driver made the horrific decision to drive when drunk. He killed the driver of the car Kelly was in and left her, her brother and several others badly injured.

In an interview by Deborah Arca, Kelly explains, “As we were on our way home, a drunk driver coming the opposite direction, after leaving a bar with his sober friend, crossed the center line going 75 mph. The first car with us swerved and missed him, the second car was side-swiped, and the third car, carrying me, my brother and my boyfriend of the time, was hit head-on. The drunk driver never once stepped on his brakes. He had a blood alcohol level of .18.”

Kelly’s book tells the story of her life after the accident in 1999 that left her a quadriplegic.

Before the accident, Kelly was an athletic young woman who had won awards in National Cheerleading competitions. She was a cheerleader for the Indiana University Hoosiers.

After the accident, she lost her athletic ability and her life completely changed.

“It’s gonna get harder before it gets easier. But it will get better; you just gotta make it through the hard stuff first.” ~  Anonymous

Kelly’s inspiring story of resilience will leave you grateful for what your healthy body allows you to do. I never really knew the details of what a person goes through who is a quadriplegic. Kelly’s experience makes you fully understand the challenges that Kelly and others in the same situation go through on a daily basis.

You will also be in awe of her ability to stay hopeful and move on with her life, despite the difficulties that she now faces.

Not only did her parents have to endure the anguish of Kelly’s injuries. Their son, Jason was also injured in the crash. At the end of her book, Kelly gives an update on Jason’s progress. “After years of therapy, Jason continues to need 24-hour care, unable to carry out the simplest tasks such as eating with a fork or writing with a pen.”

The tragedy involving two of their children is heartbreaking and seems like more than any parent could bear. Yet, Kelly’s mother and her stepfather rise to the occasion. They are there for Kelly encouraging and helping her every step of the way.

This is a story of resilience. Kelly does not give up on life, even though she feels overwhelmed at times. Success and happiness come her way because Kelly is determined to not let her injury define her future.

“Everyone has disabilities. It’s what we do with our abilities that matter.” ~ Unknown

The book describes how Kelly does what is needed to help herself live the best life possible going forward.

After becoming a quadriplegic, she begins to speak at schools about drinking and driving. She enters the Ms. Wheelchair Indina competition, finishes college and earns a teaching credential. She also continues to embrace her faith which is a great help to her.

After college, Kelly wavers between continuing her public speaking or starting a career in education.

In a job interview, she expresses how her “disability in this situation is not a disadvantage but an advantage. It’ll teach students compassion, empathy, forgiveness, and overcoming adversity. It’ll also teach them the effects of bad decisions, and the importance of never giving up.”

When she is hired to teach in a fifth-grade classroom at her local parochial school, she knows she has made the right decision.

I’ve been a teacher and know it takes a lot of energy and hard work. It was amazing to read about Kelly’s successful career as a fifth-grade teacher.

Any student in Kelly’s class would have the experience of witnessing firsthand what it is like to be disabled, and better understand the importance of having a positive attitude despite adversity and how to develop the wherewithal to move forward no matter what happens. What an unforgettable lesson for her class and all the students at her school to witness and carry with them for a lifetime.

Don’t let your disability define you. You are capable of much more than you think. ~ Kelly Shaefer

Kelly goes on to meet her future husband and have the life she always wanted but that seemed to have been stolen from her.

This is a book that is deeply inspiring. It makes you want to be better, happier and a more grateful person.

It also shines a light on the facts about drinking and driving and the permanent damage to humans that can happen as a result. 

Teen Drivers

We know that teens are particularly vulnerable to not always making the best decisions when it comes to drinking (or drugging) and driving. They may underestimate how intoxicated they are. They may not want to have to explain the situation to their parents, so they decide to drive their car home even though they are intoxicated.

Research does show that the numbers of high school teens who drink and drive have been reduced. Yet, the problem has not been erased. As you most likely know, teens and young adults still participate in underage drinking and drugging.

While the decrease in numbers may be music to a parent’s ears, we need to consider the fact that data also shows that by the time age a child is 15, 33 percent have had at least one drink. By the age of 18, the numbers have jumped to about 60 percent of teens who have had an alcoholic beverage least once.  

Those numbers are eye-opening, but we really need to consider that 1 out of every 10 teens (high school students aged 16 and over) admits to drinking and driving in the last 30 days.

How Big Is the Problem?

From the CDC, here are six facts about impaired driving which includes marijuana and other drugs.

• In 2016, 10,497 people died in alcohol-impaired driving crashes, accounting for 28% of all traffic-related deaths in the United States.


• Of the 1,233 traffic deaths among children ages 0 to 14 years in 2016, 214 (17%) involved an alcohol-impaired driver.


• In 2016, more than 1 million drivers were arrested for driving under the influence of alcohol or narcotics. That’s one percent of the 111 million self-reported episodes of alcohol-impaired driving among U.S. adults each year.


• Marijuana users were about 25% more likely to be involved in a crash than drivers with no evidence of marijuana use, however other factors–such as age and gender–may account for the increased crash risk among marijuana users.

MADD

The mission of Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD) is to end drunk driving, help fight drugged driving, support the victims of these violent crimes, and prevent underage drinking.

In the United States, the number of drunk driving deaths has been cut in half since MADD was founded in 1980.

Here are more facts from the MADD website about drunk and drugged driving to share with family members possibly around the dinner table. Check their website for more information.

Facts to Share with Teens

• Car crashes are the leading cause of death for teenagers.


• Over a quarter of 8th graders have tried alcohol.


• About one in seven teens binge drink, yet only 1 in 100 parents believe his or her teen binge drinks.


• From 2007 to 2013/2014, the greatest increase in drug use while driving was marijuana (THC). The percentage of THC-positive drivers increased from 8.6 percent in 2007 to 12.6 percent in 2013/2014, a proportional increase of 47 percent.


• The rate of drunk driving is highest among 26 to 29-year-olds (20.7 percent).

Statistics about Drinking and Driving

• Every two minutes, a person is injured in a drunk driving crash.


• 57% of fatally injured drivers had alcohol and/or other drugs in their system — 17% had both.


• An average drunk driver has driven drunk over 80 times before the first arrest.


• Drunk driving involvement in fatal crashes in 2017 was almost four times higher at night than during the day (32 vs. 9 percent).


• In 2017, 10,874 people died in drunk driving crashes — one every 48 minutes — and more than 300,000 were injured in drunk driving crashes.


• In 2017, there were four male alcohol-impaired drivers involved in crashes for every female alcohol-impaired driver involved in an accident (8,022 vs. 1,944).


• 50 to 75 percent of convicted drunk drivers continue to drive on a suspended license.


• Drunk driving costs each adult in the United States over $500 per year.


• Drunk driving costs the United States $132 billion a year.

What Can You do?

• Designate a sober driver before celebrations begin.


• Plan safe parties, including providing non-alcoholic drink options to guests and not serving alcohol the last hour of the gathering.


• Never serve alcohol to those under the age of 21.


• Use a car service, call a sober friend or family member, or use public transportation if you’ve been drinking.


• Don’t hesitate to contact your local law enforcement if you see an impaired driver on the road.


• If you know someone who is about to drive or ride with a driver who is impaired, take the driver’s keys and help them make other arrangements to get to where they are going safely.

As we move into summer, remind your teens about driving safely. You don’t want the heartache of having a family member involved in an impaired driving accident.

My hope is that Kelly’s story will spread awareness and inspire hope and resilience for those who have been injured or have a disability.

Have you had an experience with a drunk driver? Tell us your story in comments. 

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Thank you for being there for your child when they need you the most! XO, Cathy