Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.” ~ Melody Beattie
When drug and alcohol abuse knocked at our door, unfortunately, we opened up and let it in.
Since that day our life has changed forever.
Many days were a struggle, a challenge and felt painful.
At times I felt manipulated.
I could feel myself enabling, but couldn’t stop.
On occasion, the fear engulfed me as I lay awake with my eyes staring at the ceiling watching each hour pass by until dawn.
I muddled through as best I could. Some days I felt forgiveness, love, joy, and gratitude. On other days, I felt the sting of addiction.
I’m on an ongoing, lifelong journey of change, understanding, and compassion. I have to find my strength and learn to forgive myself and others. I am grateful my life and embrace the changes I have made.
This journey has taken me places I would never have expected. There are the people who I have met, and stories that I have heard that have been a gift. There is that driving force that has compelled me to channel my energies and kept me putting one foot in front of the other. I’m still standing because I know and feel more than I ever imagined.
I’ve learned many things through this process. Addiction and recovery will forever be part of my life. It is gone in it’s most fiery form, but it lies dormant, waiting to find that crack in the resistance, that opportunity to seep through if given the chance. It is a force to be reckoned with, one with no pity or shame.
Through this process of dealing with the health issue of family addiction, I’ve learned many things.
Here are some of the things I’ve learned from this experience. As they say in Al-anon, “Take what you like and leave the rest.”
Remember, one size never fits all.
I’ve learned that:
I can help others, but I cannot control them. I can only control myself.
I need to give myself the respect and attention that I deserve.
I can forgive myself for the mistakes and misjudgments I’ve made in the past.
Joy lies just below the surface. I can find happiness regardless of what is happening around me.
Addiction is a force to be reckoned with.
To help myself, I must do the work so that I have courage, strength, and knowledge.
I love that I don’t have to explain anything to another parent with an addicted child.
The stigma of addiction and recovery can sting. Don’t let it. Rise above.
We have to find our own reasons for wanting change.
Making time to breathe each day brings a haven of calm.
There is always a reason to feel compassion.
This is a marathon, not a sprint. Be prepared for the long haul.
No matter how much it hurts, sometimes we have to let go.
You can make a mistake and come back from it. It’s called recovery.
People in long-term recovery go on to live beautiful lives.
When we find support, we can begin to feel again.
My expectations are meaningless. I must accept reality.
Recovery is a lifelong journey.
Gratitude can bring me peace of mind.
With continual practice, I can conquer my fears.
There are always new ways to practice patience.
I need to take care myself and not let the problem engulf me.
Denial prolongs the problem.
Enabling prolongs the pain.
This is a family disease. It is in everyone’s best interest to take part and heal together.
I can let go of reacting and responding to other people’s problems. I can think about what I want.
I need love, compassion, and forgiveness for my loved ones.
It is important to make the best decisions that you can at that time because after your child is 18, they are adults and the decision to get help or not is up to them.
Help is there. We need to just reach out to it.
Real power comes when you acknowledge that you are able to make that change happen.
We must let go of the life we have planned, so we can live the life that we now have.
I can forgive others and I can forgive myself.
We can choose how we react to other people and to any situation.
As parents, we can always be more informed, educated and involved.
There is always hope.
Only when we are no longer afraid, do we begin to live. ~ Dorothy Thompson
There are no guarantees, but here’s what you can do to help prevent drug and alcohol abuse from knocking on your door:
Educate yourself and educate your children early and often.
Communicate often about the dangers of drug abuse.
Know your children’s’ friends, and who their friend’s parents are.
If you are a parent, lock up your prescription drugs and alcohol.
Don’t ever allow yourself to think that addiction couldn’t happen to your child.
If you’ve been through addiction and recovery in any form, what have you learned? Let us know in the comments!
