Zen Mama: Letting Go Leads to Happiness

I’d like to introduce you to Betsy Henry, author, friend and fellow blogger.

1. Please introduce yourself to the readers.

I am Betsy Henry, author of How To Be A Zen Mama, Zen Mama’s Book of Quotes and The Zen Mama’s Blog.  I’m a preschool teacher during the day and write as my alter ego at the Zen Mama’s Blog at night.  I’m very happily married to John, the Zen Papa, who is a big part of my work as many of the posts I write began as a conversation first. 

I am a mother to three boys who are now 21, 18 and 14.  It has been a fun, crazy, adventurous learning experience being a mother. 

2.  Tell us about How To Be a Zen Mama?  Why were you motivated to write this book?

My husband and I had just finished a challenging year with two of our three children; grades had fallen and limits were being tested. The teenage years are not easy, as anyone with even one teenage child will tell you. Being a positive and optimistic person, I tried to find the lessons in all of our experiences and understand where we had made mistakes.

I couldn’t continue to be the angry person I’d become over the summer and the new school year. I was a frantic, nagging mother worried about my kids in this modern world with text messaging and Facebook and our demanding culture that wants them to be volunteers, super athletes and ivy league students.

Yet, at my job as a preschool teacher, I felt more Zen-like, giving out pearls of wisdom to those overly concerned parents of my 3-5 year old kids. I decided at that point that I had my life to live and needed to let my children live their lives. If I let go, maybe we’d all be happier. I decided to combine the two ideas: the frantic mother and the Zen like teacher, and become one, become a “Zen Mama”.

The book flowed once I got started.  I was up a lot at night worrying so I opened up 13 word processing files for chapters on my computer.  Each night I was up, I would write advice to myself in one or more of the chapters.  It’s meant to be a short book and easy to read.  Even the busiest mother/parent has time to read it.

3.Tell us about your book Zen Mama’s Book of Quotes. Why did you write it?

I’ve always loved quotes.  My first quote book was given to me by my aunt in 5th grade.  I find quotes to be like poetry.

Reading a positive quote can change my whole day.  Over the last few years I’ve been collecting quotes on my computer for other possible books, my blog posts and the daily quote I put on my Facebook page. I was asked by some family members for the quotes and I suddenly realized there was enough for a book.

I loved putting this together in 5 categories Letting Go, Practicing, Discovering Yourself, Embracing Life and Following Your Path.  Some of my photography was added, and voila, the book was born.

4.What is the focus of your website Zen Mama and why did you start it? How can becoming a zen mama help parents who are struggling with their teens?

My focus is to help parents to stop worrying, let go and get closer to your kids. How do you become closer to your kids? When you’re not worrying that their life is a mess, you stop criticizing and being mad at them. Slowly they feel that you’re trusting them more and they open up and want to be around you.

Teens are often rebels, looking for a reaction and sometimes negative attention.  Some parts of being a Zen Mama mean talking in a more positive way, accepting them for who they are and trying to enjoy their interests.  I really recommend humor.

In the book and on my website I write about ideas on how to do this.  We are having a much easier time with 3rd child as a teenager because we incorporated all the Zen Mama principles into our life.

Does being a Zen Mama mean that I’ve let go of our responsibilities as parents?  That anything goes?  No, that is the misconception sometimes.  It mainly means that I’ve changed myself and my reactions to just about everything.

5. What do you enjoy doing in your free time?

I have so many interests… reading, watching movies, hiking, cooking, walking, and gardening.  Having a great conversation over coffee or a glass of wine is also one of my favorite things to do. I’m in middle of writing two Zen Mama books, plus I’m working on a children’s book with the rest of the family.   I am never bored!!

How do you think letting go would improve your life?  Do you love quotes? Please leave your favorite quote in comments. If you liked this post, please share on Facebook, Twitter and Google+. Thank you!