27 Reasons to Forgive

When you forgive, you in no way change the past – but you sure do change the future. ~Bernard Meltzer

Are you feeling the pain of your family’s substance use?

You want to forgive and move on, but you may feel burdened by your situation and can’t let go.

Sometimes there is a payoff for hanging on to the pain.

When we don’t forgive, we continue to feel miserable and blame it on the person who is struggling.  We can then blame our unhappiness on others.

We can learn to forgive. One way is through compassion.

Do you blame yourself for the substance use of your children?

You may feel regret about the past. You may have heard that you didn’t cause the substance use, can’t control it, and can’t cure it. You may not believe these words, because you can’t quite forgive yourself.

• Most parents are not educated on addiction and it’s early warning signs.
• You may have seen some of the signs of substance use but were in denial.
• Early trauma may have played a role in your child’s life. They may not have had the opportunity to process their feelings.
• Genetics may have played a role in your child’s dependence.
• Other responsibilities may have prevented you from staying focused on your children’s needs.

Some of these situations may have occurred as your children were growing.

When you realize your son or daughter has a substance use issue, you may blame yourself.

While it is important to forgive our loved ones, it is also important to forgive ourselves.

Studies have shown that people who forgive are happier and healthier than those who hold resentment.  They also have fewer health problems.

People who forgive tend to be less angry, feel less hurt, and are more optimistic. They become more compassionate and self-confident.

Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that crushed it. ~Mark Twain

Forgiveness is part of most religions.  For example, in Buddhism, forgiveness is seen as a practice to prevent harmful thoughts from causing havoc on one’s mental well-being. Buddhism recognizes that feelings of hatred and ill will leave a lasting effect on our mind karma.

Anyone struggling feels guilt, shame, remorse, and self-loathing. Knowing that they are forgiven is another step in their journey to recovery.

Forgiveness is the final form of love. ~ Reinhold Niebuhr

Here are 27 reasons to forgive others and to forgive yourself.

Forgiveness is:

1. The start of the healing process.
2. Not necessarily condoning the action.
3. A sense of wholeness and peace.
4. Letting go of staying the victim.
5. Something you do for yourself, not for the other person.
6. Focusing your energy on the healing, not the hurtful action.
7. Compassion for self and others.
8. A path to healthy relationships.
9. Healing the hurt from the past.
10. An opportunity to move on with your life.
11. A solution for anxiety and depression.
12. Restoring yourself to basic goodness and health.
13.  A way to enhance your self-esteem and give you hope.
14. A chance to restore faith in yourself.
15. A journey that does not mean you will forget, but you will forgive.
16. Giving up resentment, revenge, and obsession.
17. The freedom to begin many new and healthy life choices.
18. Your path to serenity.
19. The chance to be the one who benefits from your forgiveness.
20. A way to let go of your pain from the past.
21. A path to continuing a relationship with your loved one who has caused you harm.
22. Another chance to help your child.
23. Keeping yourself in the flow of good.
24. The key to happiness.
25. Making peace with the past.
26. A gift that one gives another.
27. Fully embracing your future.

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Thank you for all you are doing to help your child during this challenging time.

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